Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Cover your eyes if you are of a sensitive disposition. G2 in the Guardian is all about today, with page after page and picture after picture of copulating couples. They're everywhere.
There's hedgehogs (braving the prickles), pygmy chimpanzees (looking very intimate), flies (looking very functional), foxes (no eye contact when they get jiggy) and a common adder and its hemipenis (unlike anything Paper Monitor has ever seen before). With the Natural History Museum's Sexual Nature exhibition opening tomorrow, the paper is taking a a look at how the birds and bees literally do have sex.
It's full of fascinating facts. Guy the silver-back Gorilla, who was a favourite at London Zoo until he died 30 years ago and boasted a 185cm - 73inch - chest), only had a penis that measured 3cm (1 inch), while barnacles have a penis 30 times their body length. Can you imagine? Adult male spiders don't have a penis at all, instead they produce a sperm web. You may have already guessed, but the exhibition is aimed at over 16s.
What the Daily Mail finds equally fascinating is Jude Law and Sienna Miller splitting up - again. It has all the insider information, from those "close friends" again.
To save you the trouble of reading the full-page feature, here it is in a nutshell. He doesn't like her dogs Porgy and Bess and thinks she is too messy. She thinks he's a bit boring, is too tidy, gets on too well with his ex-wife Sadie Frost and goes on about Ms Frost's detox diet too much.
And finally, Thursday is the new black. Oops, sorry, it's the new Saturday, according to the Daily Mirror. Confused? It's simple really. Thursday has become the most popular night of the week for socialising, the night we are most likely to order a takeaway and buy our weekly food shop, according to a new national survey of spending habits. Unsurprisingly, it has also become the most expensive day of the week.
Paper Monitor prefers to think it's the fellow Magazine Monitor regular, Caption Competition, that has sent Thursday's stock rising. How much more exciting can you get?