Paper Monitor
12:26 UK time, Wednesday, 20 April 2011
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
So yesterday's news was Nigella Lawson in a "burkini", a piece of voluminous sharia-compliant swimwear aimed at Muslim women, on Bondi Beach.
And what is yesterday's news?
If you answered "today's features", our survey says "bing" or some other affirmatory noise.
All across the land, yesterday saw young female features journalists despatched to obtain said garment and try it out for, ahem, humorous effect.
In the Daily Mail, which gets two pages out of the story, the brave Laura Stott tackles a swim in London's Serpentine. She notes alarmed toddles and speculates: "Perhaps they've confused me for a police frogman."
The Sun, on the other hand, sends Page 3 girl Rosie Jones to the beach in Brighton and then has a bloke writing about it.
Rosie's observation? "At first it feels like you're wearing a giant condom."
The Daily Express also has two pages on the burkini but it doesn't appear to have despatched anyone anywhere. Perhaps money is tight this week, or perhaps the Express eschews the most obvious ideas.
They have their deputy fashion editor writing about bikinis but the only joy on their two-page spread is on a picture caption.
"General porpoise".
The 
