Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Many of the front pages are dominated by a variation on the same image - man with head in his hands, whether it be Italian supremo Silvio Berlusconi or a trader at the New York Stock Exchange - and tales of global financial doom and gloom.
The European debt crisis and the plunging global stock markets are the headlines but there's a great deal of detail that the papers are keen to explain to their readers.
So how does the Daily Star untangle the details for its readers?
In fewer than 90 words, at the top of page two.
A sign that the paper's audience sees BIG BRO GOES ON BIG BOOZE BENDER as a more important matter? Or is it simply that they know their stuff, thank you very much, and don't need to be patronised with the petty details?
Elsewhere, recent snaps of former Australian cricketer Shane Warne feature prominently. For a man who was once seen as an alpha male of the sporting world with his beer swigging, cigarette smoking, ladies' man lifestyle, it would once have seemed inconceivable that any talk of his "beauty secrets" would make the front page, as it has in the Mirror.
In the Daily Mail, fellow Aussie Amanda Platell lays into Warne for his new look - "almost overnight a national sporting hero has morphed into a metropolitan big girl's blouse" while also managing to squeeze every stereotypical catchphrase and cultural reference to their homeland into the piece - "Sheila", "dinkum", "tinny" plus mention of Crocodile Dundee and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Paper Monitor's surprised she hasn't got "throw another shrimp on the barbie" somewhere in there too.
Oh, and the secret behind Warne's beauty? His girlfriend Liz Hurley's moisturiser and a diet drink that swells in the stomach and makes the person feel full. That's one way of getting out of Hurley's own weight-loss favourite, a strict regime of cabbage soup. Yum.