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Paper Monitor

14:03 UK time, Tuesday, 17 April 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Question: Where are we?

Clue: The spelling is not great.

Second clue: All human life is here.

Answer: We are in the Daily Star's Text Maniacs section of course.

It's the Old Faithful of letters pages. It always delivers. There are no off days.

They make every topic come alive. The big topics of the past few days have been kicked around by the broadsheets and heavyweight pundits. But now it's time for the masters of pith, those champions of brevity, our texting thinkers.

"So they want to tax fatties takeaways. I'm fat but I don't eat em so how will they tax me? Expect BREATHING TAX to be next. Idiot government!" - 54ROCK

Kerpow!

"making aintree fences smaller & easier 2 jump makes horses go faster so more likely 2 fall. Simple fact." - taximan

Blammo!

But it's the ability to switch from quotidian political discourse to true insight that dazzles the reader.

Take this missive from "ciderman":

"There is nothing worse than getting to the bottom of my vanilla shake and tasting banana, strawberry or chocolate. How about washing nozzle before each flavour change? Seems to be enough staff standing round to warrant that. Sort it out people!"

Quite.

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