Paper Monitor
10:59 UK time, Friday, 1 June 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Friday brings a flood of new cinema releases to the UK's multiplexes, and - more importantly, from this column's point of view - Fleet Street's film critics offer up their verdicts so better we can decide which to watch.
Perhaps it is the impending bank holiday, but the reviewers are in pleasingly inventive spirit this morning.
This is how the Daily Telegraph's Robbie Collin begins his
At the edge of a small patch of woodland around half a mile south of the village of Dunmore in central Scotland, there is a 37-foot-tall stone pineapple, erected by the 4th Earl of Dunmore in 1777. It serves no purpose whatsoever other than to look very much like a giant stone pineapple, which it has been doing for the last 235 years with a great deal of success.
Which, in a roundabout way, is Collin's way of saying that Prometheus is an enjoyable folly.
Kate Muir of the Times is in similarly whimsical form in her treatment of Snow White and the Huntsman, which, apparently, is a vaguely goth take on the fairytale.
For some reason, instead of "Disney names such as Happy, Sleepy and Doc, these dwarves are Scottish: Broch, Coll, Beith, Duir, Gort, Nion and even Muir, which confirms long-held suspicions about my own short-legged DNA".
However, Paper Monitor favours the Guardian's Peter Bradshaw by reworking the cartoon's fondly-recalled theme song:
Huge big band intro. Top Cat! Do you remember it? Top Cat! Well, they've dismembered it. Cartoon cats who're breaking the law -- we loved it on TV, but the film version's poor. Top Cat! The indisputable worst film of the year! The animation's bad, and the script is just sad, I think we've all been had by - Top Cat!
The 
