Paper Monitor
10:05 UK time, Friday, 14 September 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Nick Love's big-screen remake of 1970s TV cop show The Sweeney receives a largely mediocre-to-negative reception from the critics.
Fortunately, their reviews are entertaining enough to make up for a disappointing night at the pictures.
Paper Monitor sniggered at Peter Bradshaw of the Guardian's who plays Carter, the sidekick role made famous by Dennis Waterman: "His look of intense, silent menace often makes him look like a six-year-old secretly urinating in a swimming pool."
Meanwhile, Robbie Collin of the Daily Telgraph is dismissive of a romance between the film's lead, played by Ray Winstone, and co-star Hayley Atwell "despite the pair having the kind of age gap that is not often seen outside of a Santa's grotto".
The score, is largely composed of "sustained, vibrating bass notes that are oddly reminiscent of someone dragging a trestle table across a church hall".
Wendy Ide of the Times is slightly more taken with the film, however,
"In the role of Detective Inspector Jack Regan, Ray Winstone has a face like a clenched fist and blood pressure so high it threatens to blow off the top of his head," she writes approvingly. "He looks as though he is made of anger issues and extra Y chromosomes."
No doubt Mr Winstone will adopt a similar countenance when he reads most of this morning's reviews.
The 
