Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's been a frantic week of news. Royal babies, royal hoaxers and...
... feel that icy blast. It's so reassuring. Yes, the Daily Express is back to what it does best.
"Coldest week for 20 years is on way" .
Tick off the key words - shivering, braced, -15C, windchill factor, -30C, colder than North Pole, bitter gales, roars in from Siberia.
There's something comforting being inside with a warm mug of tea reading about how crazily cold it's going to get. And it makes a change from new "revelations" about Diana, the EU or Madeleine McCann.
Across pages 10 and 11 there's more: "No let up to big freeze as 'beast from East' roars in". Has Genghis Khan been reincarnated as a remorseless twister? Is a new Gangnam-style dance craze causing the tectonic plates to shift, unleashing terrifying weather fronts?
Erm, no. Apparently next week the UK will be hit by "massive blocking high pressure" from Siberia to Scandinavia. In English this time? We might get some snow, it's going to be windy and will turn "very cold".
In the accompanying picture a woman stoically walks her dog - a husky of course - across the Hampshire tundra. "With its furry coat for protection, a dog enjoys a walk on a frosty morning at Petersfield" the caption informs us. It's not quite a polar bear but good try chaps.
Stiff upper lip everyone. The beast from the East is coming for us.