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Paper Monitor

15:24 UK time, Wednesday, 19 December 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

What to buy the woman or man in your life who has everything? Fortunately, today's papers carry news of the perfect case study on which to base your gift-giving.

"How about table mats and a chunk of Antarctica?" asks the Guardian.

Er... that'll be a no to the former and a bit tricky for the latter.

Perhaps the Daily Express has some better advice?

A slice of Antarctica (and 60 place mats for Cabinet Queen)

Or the Times?

Queen is given new island to rule over
But Argentina disputes claim to Antarctic territory

Turns out Chile also claims what was, until very, very recently, called the British Antarctic Territory in some quarters, where it has now been renamed as Queen Elizabeth Land in honour of Her Majesty's 60th jubilee. That, and the table mats. To be fair, she's probably one of the few people in the land with a dining table big enough to seat 60, and you don't want their plates marking up the varnish.

The Daily Telegraph provides a slightly more detailed description of said placemats - "handmade, gilt edged and lacquer-finished with images of Buckingham Palace on them". But the "was this what the Queen wanted for Christmas?"

Some commentators scoffed at the gifts the Queen received on her visit to Westminster, but to be fair, none of us has seen Her Majesty's list to Father Christmas. For all we know it said, "Dear Santa: 60 placemats, a scrap of frozen wasteland plus a guided tour of the Foreign Office by William Hague, please." She may well be very happy. Even if not, we all know how hard it can be to buy for the older woman. At the height of his success Rod Stewart told his mother she could have anything she wanted for Christmas, money no object. After deep thought she said: "Well, I could do with a new bread bin."

Paper Monitor likes the cut of her jib.

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