Paper Monitor
11:31 UK time, Wednesday, 26 December 2012
It was something that was bothering Paper Monitor, really it was. Just who would take charge in the event of a Zombie invasion. And this appears to be something that members of the public have on their mind, too.
A response to a recent Freedom of Information request by a member of the public has clarified the situation, according to the Telegraph.
"In the event of an apocalypse brought about by an army of the undead," it's the Cabinet Office, and not the Ministry of Defence - as expected - that would be responsible for returning "England to its pre-attack glory," .
The writer seems surprised that the government has already assigned the role to a particular department and appears impressed by authorities' "level of readiness for a zombie onslaught".
Public bodies, it appears, get asked all kinds of questions about zombies, wizards and vampires as in the form of freedom of information requests. And they all need to be answered. Critics have accused such people of being time-wasters who are simply squandering taxpayer money.
The Daily Mail has a report on time-wasters, detailing some of received by the emergency services this year. Here's one received by the police in North Wales.
"An angry dad dialled 999 to report his teenage son for refusing to go to bed. The schoolboy, 14, was playing on his games console at midnight and ignored his parents' pleas to switch it off and get some sleep. The late-night row got so heated the boy's father picked up the phone and dialled 999."
Now Paper Monitor thinks this boy needs to be watched closely. Maybe the parents have very real concerns. After all, zombies don't need to go to bed.
This correspondent is now seeing the undead everywhere. A nervous glance out of the ´óÏó´«Ã½'s window onto Oxford Street. Hordes of dead-eyed people are marching up and down.
It's apparently been going on since the early hours - all around the country. Marching and up and down, staring into shop windows. According to the Mirror, some are expected in Oxford Street.
Someone call the Cabinet Office.
The 
