Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The festive period can leave some people feeling more charitable. Not the subs at the Sun.
They have a story about a rugby league player who has supposedly left his wife and is now dating a glamour model.
It starts with the tagline: "Another painful split for Paul". The headline starts: "One-ball rugby ace leaves his wife..." And the text says: "The Warrington Wolves prop - who famously lost a testicle in this year's Super League Grand Final - told his wife Shelley he was leaving her..."
The "painful split" gag seems a mean-spirited response to a man who has had a rather traumatic medical incident.
Elsewhere, this is a time of year when people want advice so we go over to Dear Deidre. There's the usual diet of dirty sex, drug use and relationship argument advice. But the eye is drawn to one particular letter.
The author is a 20-year-old in a relationship with a 36-year-old teacher. The relationship started when the author was 17 and went to the teacher's flat for some help with his homework.
Our 20-year-old, now some years have passed, wants to go public with the relationship. But the teacher isn't so keen.
Deidre advises:
"She may be right that colleagues would raise their eyebrows. She did break important professional boundaries."
Er, Deidre, Paper Monitor is no legal expert but this appears to be an under the Sexual Offences Act 2003.
It's punishable by up to five years in prison. That's only England, Wales and Northern Ireland but there's probably a Scottish equivalent too.
Deidre goes on to advise that the relationship is dead if it can't be brought out into the open. Er, right.
Also finishing off with Deidre, she has some sensible advice for NYE:
"I've had so many letters from readers who drank too much on New Year's Eve, then had terrible rows, unprotected sex they regret or an accident."
Avoid.