Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's a time of year when personal transformation is quite the thing.
For many, that means traditional New Year's resolutions. Paper Monitor's resolutions are entirely newspaper-based, but there are plenty who are slimming, getting muscly, being more charitable or learning the banjo.
In the Daily Mirror, they first have a spread on people who kept their resolutions in 2012. There's a woman who kept a vow to her dying husband that she would succeed in business. And a woman who lost a lot of weight.
On the next page there's "Love your 2013 sexolutions!". Sexpert Dr Pam Spurr gives 10 resolutions for the year ahead.
This is a family website, but number five is "keep a lockable 'pleasure chest' at your bedside".
Rightyho.
The very next page has "6 ways to fix your finances".
Paper Monitor might start with "avoid unnecessary expenditure on 'lockable pleasure chests'".
Over in the Daily Mail, journo Karen Cross is doing something that Paper Monitor can't help but admire - going gonzo.
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She gets injected with lip filler, has her teeth whitened with gizmos and all manner of other cosmetic hoo-ha.
The poor scribe is cut down to size by one of the commenters.
"As far as I can see, the first pic = grumpy face, no makeup. The second = smiley face, lots of makeup. Wonder what the other £4,700 went on?"
Ouch.