Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's an extra-terrestrial edition of Paper Monitor today.
When a celebrity acts like a fruitcake, the papers are quick to mop up the crumbs.
So Oscar-winning actor Mr Russell Crowe is quite rightly afforded a near full page of coverage in the Sun.
"Crowe's Encounters", puns the headline, after Crowe tweeted self-taken images of a bona fide UFO.
"THESE ARE REAL!", tweeted Crowe from his office in Woolloomooloo.
Yes, Woolloomooloo. Even fellow residents would admit that a UFO claim from Woolloomooloo requires a higher threshold of proof.
It's not helped by the fact that the image looks like a 1980s video game.
"Austr-alien life form", captions the image, which is about the most intelligent thing to come out of the whole story. Although it's unclear whether it refers to Crowe or the UFO.
But it does appear Crowe is intent on undoing his recent critical acclaim for Les Mis and not beating people up.
The Daily Star quotes him defending the image from ridiculing Twitter users: "Can't be a lens flare because it moves, camera is fixed."
Apparently the fruitcake was photographing fruit bats at the time.
The remaining question is what is more embarrassing - Crowe's protestations or the Star's headline:
"I've just seen U.F. CrOwe!"
Ouch.