Listless
- 31 Jul 07, 02:30 PM
I can鈥檛 be doing with lists on Blogs. I know the hypocrisy of that statement as one who used to have a blog with nothing on except shopping lists. But that was different, that was social comment on the purchasing patterns of鈥 Actually as I鈥檓 writing this I鈥檓 thinking 鈥渨hat a loser 鈥 get a life you sad person鈥.
Anyway, lists. What鈥檚 the point? Does anyone really care about your 鈥楾op Ten Things I鈥檝e Done With A Shoe鈥? Or 鈥楳y Top Ten Paving Stones鈥. Are we a country obsessed with lists of every kind? Apart from that small diversion with shopping lists, generally I鈥檓 not a list person. I鈥檝e tried making lists, but they tend to be To Do lists made up of stuff I鈥檝e already done so that I look really efficient.
I realise that the more organised of you out there rely on lists. I knew one woman who had a list of all the lists she had 鈥 one of which showed a detailed plan of all the Christmas presents she鈥檇 bought and for who over the past ten years, which is fine so long as you don鈥檛 sit next to her on a busy train when she unrolls it.
Making lists so you don鈥檛 forget things is a good idea, but why make lists of random things? The worse ones are the 鈥100 Things About Me鈥 lists which still seem popular and pointless. I鈥檓 not sure I even know 100 about me, so why I鈥檇 want to know a hundred about you is beyond me.
All this was sparked by who has listed 鈥溾 following a trip in Manchester. It includes Piccadilly Gardens and Chavs. Despite what I鈥檝e said about lists, this is probably one of the better ones as it wasn鈥檛 just a list of single words and provided a little more substance. But it is a list just the same.
Awards
I鈥檝e already mentioned that I鈥檓 judging this year鈥檚 Manchester Blog Awards again. Here鈥檚 an early one 鈥 the Award For The Blog Entry That Was Great Until The Second Sentence Went And Spoiled It All. It goes to for 鈥淢e and Girlfriend tramped through the fields looking for somewhere to let off my rocket.鈥 For the rest of this post, . I should be ashamed of myself.
Manchester Blog Awards 2007
- 24 Jul 07, 05:01 PM
How on earth can someone forget how to use a potato peeler? Stupid or what. Next I鈥檒l be telling you that someone once tried to open a tin of corned beef with their bare hands after the 鈥榢ey鈥 broke, only just managing to avoid severing a glove full of fingers. Or what about the guy who stuck a sink plunger to his fat skull pretending to be a Dalek and ended up wandering round with a massive love-bite on his forehead. I mean really, some people should never be left alone. But I get bored.
Admittedly I was still in middle school when I did the latter two, but the potato peeler incident happened on Monday. The youngest member of the family begged me to serve up 鈥榩roper food鈥 for a change and so I decided to invest in a bag of Maris Piper. Perhaps I was holding the potato at the wrong angle or upside down but the blasted peeler seemed more interested in my skin rather than anything else. I just wanted to smash it all to bits.
Fortunately I鈥檝e not been asked to comment on potato peelers, but I have been asked to judge this year鈥檚 Manchester Blog Awards. Nominations are now open so get along to for details. It鈥檚 not in my nature to take bribes, well perhaps just that once but I didn鈥檛 inhale, so don鈥檛 even think about it. It鈥檚 amazing to see how Manchester Bloggers have developed over the past twelve months so I鈥檓 expecting a much harder job this year.
Now, does anyone know how to use a coat hanger?
Back on Terra Firma
- 24 Jul 07, 09:38 AM
There鈥檚 something mildly disturbing about watching grown ups ripping apart a floral Wallace and Gromit display. Flowers and soil everywhere. Young children elbowed out of the way and people standing on other people鈥檚 heads.
For most of the week Wallace grinned at me from under his blanket of flowers. Crowds gathered in the sun or rain to widen their mouths and say 鈥淪mashing toast Gromit鈥 or 鈥淣ot even Wensleydale?鈥 And then on Sunday afternoon over the PA system at the RHS Tatton Flower Show came the announcement that the big sell off was going to happen fifteen minutes early due to the bad weather. Panic.
I鈥檓 not sure if you are aware of what happens during the sell off. Basically it鈥檚 a free for all as people try to buy up the plants that have been used in the show gardens.
Some gardens don鈥檛 even bother selling and just allow the locust-like public to gorge themselves on whatever they can grab. Bags and wheelbarrows appear from nowhere and it all goes a bit crazy. And then, at 5pm, the Show closes and the swarms of heavily laden visitors head back to the car park to try and decide which child they should leave behind in order to get that free laburnum on the back seat.
How different the mood from the Wednesday when it was RHS Members Day and the most frantic moment was when someone knocked over a jug of Pimms.
It鈥檚 so good to be back in Manchester and perhaps some kind of normal service will be resumed.
Road comedy
- 18 Jul 07, 08:53 PM
What鈥檚 the point of those little signs people stick in the back window of their car? 鈥楳y other car is a Porsche鈥 鈥 yeah right, like my other wife is Bridget Fonda. 鈥楩ree sex lessons. See driver for details鈥 鈥 is that after you鈥檝e rejoined the human race? Am I supposed to laugh at these while stuck in seven miles of standing traffic on the M60?
Actually I have laughed twice this week at signs on vans. The first one was written in the dirt on the back of a white van 鈥楾here are only two tools in this van鈥. I kept in the driver鈥檚 blind spot in case he and his mate saw the tears on my cheeks.
Then this morning on my way to the Tatton Flower Show I saw another van that made me laugh. This time the message was painted on. It said 鈥楾his vehicle was supplied after a non-fault accident鈥. What in blazes is a non-fault accident? In the eyes of every insurance company none of their drivers are at fault, it鈥檚 always the other guy to blame even though he was on holiday in Poland at the time you drove into his 2CV. Or am I wrong. Perhaps they have a whole fleet of vans all painted up ready for every occasion. 鈥楾his vehicle was supplied after an accident caused by the driver reversing into a tree while painting their toenails.鈥
Blogs
Staying with cars and things like that, they don't come very often, but when they do it's well worth the wait. I'm talking of course about postings on the . His latest offering reveals the . Enjoy and perhaps consider public transport in the future.
Can I say thanks to for posting a picture of Homer Simpson next to the Cerne Abbas giant. I heard about it on the radio but missed it in the papers.
RHS Tatton Flower Show
- 17 Jul 07, 10:44 AM
The RHS Tatton Flower Show is going to be great. It鈥檚 going to be just like Glastonbury, except that instead of music there will be plants.
The place will be crammed full of ageing horticulturists looking at alpine gardens and remembering the good old days when they were young, had too much rhubarb wine and on a whim bought a trolley load of saxifraga.
The thing I like about being there on the Show build days is that you meet all sorts of experts. Guys who know things like how to tow a bus out of sinking mud.
You can also rely on solid local knowledge. Within minutes the blue skies had turned black and torrential rain arrived. I was stood next to a guy who only lived a mile up the road. 鈥楾hat鈥檚 it now mate鈥, he said, 鈥榠t鈥檚 set in for the rest of the day.鈥 Within minutes the sun came out and we didn鈥檛 get so much as another spot all day. I looked round but the guy had gone. Perhaps he鈥檇 nipped home to get the washing in or to write tomorrow鈥檚 horoscopes.
I鈥檓 not sure if you鈥檝e noticed, but it has been raining quite a bit these last few weeks and the forecast for the RHS Tatton Flower Show isn鈥檛 what we were all hoping for. I think the guy who made a fortune on Japanese parasols last year is going struggle, unless he can get a shop load of that waterproofing stuff they force you to buy when all you really went in for was a pair of opened-toed wellies.
Oh la la!
- 16 Jul 07, 09:42 AM
Bonjour mesdames et messieurs et bienvenue 脿 ce petit p芒t茅 en cro没te de meringue de citron qui a 茅t茅 couvert en peinture verte. I dropped French when I was eleven, but it鈥檚 strange how much you can remember when you need to.
You see, Saturday was Bastille Day and it comes as no surprise that popped along to the to soak up the Manchester take on how to do things French. 鈥淢any French people who have made Manchester their adopted home rolled out the picnic blanket and uncorked the wine bottles.鈥
The picture shows a couple of traditionally dressed French ladies explaining the finer points of French Cuisine. Picture by .
The final drops of the Manchester International Festival have now been squeezed out. popped along to The Lowry for Final Fantasy, but not before sampling Heston Blumenthal鈥檚 Chilled Summer Treats. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a shame I didn鈥檛 have time for the mushy pea sorbet.鈥
Meanwhile found his way to Salford Quays to see New Young Pony Club.
So that was last week and this is this and I鈥檓 heading off to the until Sunday. Expect appeals for warm clothing, blankets and Red Cross parcels come Wednesday.
If you鈥檝e got green fingers and are at Tatton during the week pop in and say hello. I鈥檒l be the guy hanging around the 大象传媒 Manchester Garden cramming information about all things horticultural as I鈥檝e been invited to sit on a Gardener鈥檚 Question Time-type question and answer session and at the moment the only thing I鈥檓 really capable of doing in the garden is throwing the snails over the wall into next door.
Manchester International Festival: Day 17
- 14 Jul 07, 08:43 AM
If this was a long running American TV show it would now be building into a fantastic season close. Carefully twisted plots and themes interspersed with clever dialogue and the occasional red herring. We鈥檇 have filmed two alternative endings just in case the press got a sniff of which character was going to say adios as an out of control shopping trolley full of baked beans pinned them to a cardboard cut out of a huge toilet freshener.
But it isn鈥檛. It鈥檚 a blog. And we just keep going, although we do need to draw to a close our coverage of the Manchester International Festival.
It鈥檚 interesting to look back through my notebook at some of the things I鈥檝e written down that didn鈥檛 make it to the blog. These are little observations that seem pertinent at the time and I presume that I must have had big plans for how they would form the backbone of one of my posts. In the cold light of day, however, I begin to wonder if I鈥檓 slowly losing my sanity.
I should point out that when reviewing things in cinemas or theatres you have to write in the dark. It鈥檚 not easy. Often your best lines end up on your chinos, or worse still Kevin Bourke鈥檚. But anyway, here鈥檚 a selection of the ones I can decipher.
鈥淥ld woman looks like the one at the beginning of Ghostbusters鈥
鈥淕ary Barlow鈥檚 too high for the girls鈥
鈥淣ew bulb for church toilet鈥 (NB That may not be Festival related)
鈥淕et to seat early and listen to the harps being tuned鈥
鈥淪ome of the seats had napkins on them鈥
鈥淏aked potato nightmare鈥
鈥淲hat would happen if the orchestra followed the sign language person instead of the conductor?鈥
Jazz
For my final proper Festival event I popped into the for a spot of Jazz courtesy of the Eclipse Saxophone Quartet. Against a backdrop of umbrellas heading up to Piccadilly Station after a busy week in the office, the guys gave us a cracking arrangement of Gershwin鈥檚 Summertime. With an up tempo beat and a Latino feel I found myself sinking into my comfy chair while sinking my teeth into the comforting homemade beef burger (with fries and ketchup). I鈥檓 terrible with accents, but I think the waitress was Irish, or American. She said that the Festival may be coming to an end but it looks like the jazz may continue at the City Cafe. Fantastic.
The End
So as the dancing curtains of Il Tempo del Postino fall gently on the ripped wallpaper of Johnny Vegas鈥 Interiors, we say goodbye to the Manchester International Festival.
I will forever hold in my heart the sorrow of Orpheus. I will always be indebted to Alan Rickman for his microphone skills. I will cherish my time in the paparazzi scrum for the best Denis Hopper picture. I will live in fear of death in case I鈥檓 surrounded by two dozen women spinning plates. But above all, I will never be able to watch a Cleopatra film again, well not unless I鈥檓 standing up.
Shall we do it again in 2009?
Blogs
has been to see Il Tempo del Postino at the Opera House. "As was always going to be the case, this was a very hit-and-miss show."
Manchester International Festival: Day 16
- 13 Jul 07, 09:05 AM
I鈥檝e not checked my e-mail yet, but I know for a fact that there will be at least a dozen offering me a deal on Viagra. I鈥檓 thinking of forwarding them to Alex Poots so that the Manchester International Festival can buy a supply for a certain bull that didn鈥檛 鈥榩erform鈥 at last night鈥檚 world premier of .
Perhaps it was first night nerves or perhaps he was distracted by the two half-naked women peeing on the stage or the Cleopatra-like woman with her hand up her bottom. Did I just write that? I need to check my notes.
It鈥檚 OK it wasn鈥檛 a dream. I really did see all that with my own eyes on the stage at the Manchester Opera House, but I will just check my notes one more time.
I knew before the piece 鈥 Guardian of the Veil by Matthew Barney and Jonathan Bepler 鈥 that I was in for something different. Something challenging. Apart from what was going on stage, all around the auditorium were actors dressed in IRA-type uniform brandishing ukuleles. Let me tell you, if that was the chosen weapon of the paramilitary group in the seventies the troubles would have ended a long time ago.
Cock and bull
So planned or otherwise, the cock and bull story put around town that a live animal was going to be relieved sexually on stage, turned out to be all bull. Take away the urinating women and the guy with the dog strapped to his head 鈥 sorry didn鈥檛 I mention that? There was this guy with a dog strapped to his head. Anyway, take those bits out of the performance and there鈥檇 be nothing to write about as everything else happened at a pace half the speed of a drifting continent. We could have all left at 10 o鈥檆lock and gone to a Tupperware Party or something.
It wasn鈥檛 meant to be the climax of the evening, but at the last minute they decided to switch the programme round. I overheard Alex Poots telling someone that they felt it was better to finish on the Guardian of the Veil as it represented the end of civilisation. Or performance art or the Manchester Opera House.
Earlier we had a more diverse selection of art installations pass before our eyes like those colourful dishes at YO! Sushi. Dancing curtains, Chinese Opera, some woman singing Love Will Tear Us Apart in total darkness and people talking very fast like they do at cattle auctions. At one point the stage lights came on the reveal the entire audience looking back at itself. We were the performers and we were expected to perform. Any slight noise from the auditorium sparked a reaction for the orchestra (made up from students at the RNCM who probably get up to all this kind of thing on a Thursday night anyway).
Sometimes it felt like I was watching some kind of Salvador Dali version of Opportunity Knocks at other times it was just plain weird.
Anyway, I wouldn鈥檛 have missed it for the world.
Blogs
has been to see The Pianist. "this is where the festival should concentrate if it is to succeed: by inviting some of the arts world鈥檚 leading figures to help shine bright lights on Manchester鈥檚 hidden gems."
Manchester International Festival: Day 15
- 12 Jul 07, 09:07 AM
As was billed as a 鈥榰nique family concert鈥 I thought I鈥檇 take one the family along for the ride. That ride turned out to be forty minutes in the car listening to Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance. Loud. 鈥淒id he just sing the F word?鈥, 鈥淵es鈥, 鈥淏ut I let you go to see them in concert鈥, 鈥淵es! Thank-you Dad鈥. What must other parents think of me?
By the time seven o鈥檆lock came round my ears were begging me to listen to something a little gentler and so we took our seats in the Bridgewater Hall. 鈥淒on鈥檛 expect any of that bad language in here, young lady. This is a family film, so let鈥檚 sit quietly and watch the little fox at play.鈥 Several killings later, and I knew they were dead as the hens had crosses for eyes, a whisper came into my ear, 鈥淭his is great鈥.
What we were watching was the animated tale of The Cunning Little Vixen accompanied by Manchester鈥檚 Halle Orchestra playing the score before our very ears. It soothed them with a faultless performance. But there was more to come.
I got the impression from all the advertising that the Cunning Little Vixen was the star of the evening鈥檚 performance, but I was wrong. After a short interval we were back in our seats for a wonderful performance of a new piece called Alphabicycle Order. This was a collection of children鈥檚 poems by Christopher Reid set to music by Colin Matthews. were joined on stage by members of the and along with Henry Goodman who narrated several of the poems.
The half hour piece took us on fantastic voyage through the alphabet from Alphabike to Zagzig. The children in the audience loved it. Their parents loved it. I loved it and so did the offspring. Sadly, not for the first time at the Festival, empty seats were aplenty in the Bridgewater Hall. The whole thing was over by nine, and even on a school night I would have thought that they could have managed a packed house, after all, it鈥檚 what it deserved.
Week Two
And that got me thinking. Here we are in the middle of the second week of the Festival and a bit of the steam seems to have gone out of it. Monkey is a distant memory and even For All The Wrong Reasons holds some pleasant afterthoughts. But the atmosphere has changed. Even the Festival Pavilion has seemed more subdued this week. Is it Festival fatigue, the weather? Or do we need something on the scale of Monkey to take us through the second week? It does feel like it needs a bit of a poke with a stick.
Perhaps the controversy that鈥檚 beginning to surround tonight鈥檚 premier of will spark a bit more excitement for us. If the reports are true, then those that have tickets can expect urinating women and an over stimulated bull. The Manchester International Festival website has gone so far as to publish a :
鈥淭he Festival has undertaken a comprehensive process of risk assessments to establish that the show can proceed safely.
The Festival and its partners have put the safety and welfare of the people and animals working on this production as the highest priority at all times.
The Risk Assessments involve health and safety experts and an independent vet. They look particularly at ensuring that the show is safe in terms of Public Health & Safety and Animal Welfare..
The animals involved in the show are accompanied at all times by experienced animal handlers with the independent vet in attendance. The people working on the show are fully briefed by their managers about the risks and the safety procedures.鈥
Fortunately junior is off to see Harry Potter.
Blogs
While I was sat in the 1830 Warehouse on Tuesday, the more financially affluent members of society were over at the MEN Arena watching Barbara Streisand (or Streetlamps as my spellchecker would prefer). Some paid up to 拢500 for a ticket. paid considerably less if I鈥檓 any judge of where she was sitting - based entirely on the she took. I suspect she had to have a safety harness on.
is a blogger from London who's been up to see the festival. "For 拢5 you could try a mini portion of strange ice cream, mushy pea sorbet or strawberry and vanilla sundae with olive and leather included."
Manchester International Festival: Day 14
- 11 Jul 07, 08:48 AM
I鈥檇 forgotten how entertaining unreserved seats could be. Despite my ticket telling me I was sat in seat GA3 14, it was in fact every man for him self. Brilliant. Half a dozen or so people wasted good seat finding time looking for row numbers, while all around them others dashed around the performance space trying to work out where the best view would be. Of course those that arrived late had to sit in a dark corner and think about what would have been if only they鈥檇 not stopped off on the way for nibbles.
is based on the memoirs of Wladyslaw Szpilman, a Jewish composer and concert pianist living in Warsaw during the German occupation in 1939. It鈥檚 a mix of readings, performed with true emotion by Peter Guinness and piano pieces from Szpilman鈥檚 concert repertoire played by Mikhail Rudy.
I found a seat that gave me an uninterrupted view of Rudy鈥檚 finger work as I expected that in the 1830 Warehouse at the Museum of Science and Industry, there would be little else to look at. Guinness did walk around the Grand Piano a lot delivering his sometimes graphically disturbing account of Szpilman鈥檚 time alone and hungry hiding from the German鈥檚 in an attic 鈥 and we were there with him. At times in near total darkness, wondering if the odd creak of the floor was an early warning that the guards were about to come in and find us.
Wonderfully staged, beautifully lit with a music score that would have filled the place on its own, The Pianist is no doubt be another of those events that will help cement the future of what has been a fantastic Festival.
Typecast
Are us journalists really that bad? I picked up my ticket from the Box Office and the young volunteer behind the desk confirmed with me that I was from the 大象传媒. 鈥淲ell the bar is just along there, but don鈥檛 forget that they won鈥檛 let you into the performance if you鈥檙e late.鈥 Just to be on the safe side, I consumed nothing but the chilled night air.
Tonight
More classical music tonight, so I鈥檓 off to The Bridgewater Hall for The Cunning Little Vixen.
Blogs
is not a Manchester Blog, but it does carry a review of The Pianist from someone who is happy to travel anywhere to see a good show.
is the author of Pretend You Have Big Buildings which premiers at the Royal Exchange this week as part of the Festival. He鈥檚 been blogging about the experience.
Finally I think I may have touched one of nerves, 鈥淚 was harassed live on 大象传媒 Radio by Richard Fair, who was claiming that I was making a film "about Manchester", and that it was an unfair representation of the City.鈥
Manchester International Festival: Day 13
- 10 Jul 07, 08:57 AM
Apparently the quietest thing you can eat in a cinema is a prawn sandwich. This reliable piece of cinema etiquette comes to me from and she should know as she spends a lot of time eating prawn sandwiches or in the cinema, or both.
was just one of over twenty Manchester Bloggers who came to the 大象传媒 Manchester Blog Meet in the International Festival Pavilion. All huddled round various laptops like striking workers around braziers, we were somewhat conspicuous with only a couple of late comers asking if we were the bloggers. I'm not really sure who they thought we may have been sat there with more gadgets than Curry鈥檚 on the table.
It鈥檚 not the first meet-up we've had so it was nice to see so many new faces. 鈥淚 like to put a face to a blog鈥, as Stephen Newton put it just before a myriad of camera flashes went off as bloggers took pictures of bloggers while other bloggers took pictures of bloggers taking pictures. And then they do that thing that people with digital cameras do. They come and show you the picture they just took.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 you鈥. 鈥淚s it? Me? Gosh, I look just like I do in the mirror, only you managed to capture by bad side and my mouth looks like I鈥檓 hiding a gerbil in it. And this is going on Flickr? Oh, it鈥檚 already there. How fantastic is that鈥. But that鈥檚 technology for you. Gone are the days of grabbing the camera off them, opening the back and exposing all the film.
People blog for different reasons. You get those hardened bloggers - the ones that turned up with their laptops and passed free WiFi passwords round like Russian spies (sorry ) - the 鈥業f it moves, blog it鈥 type. Some don鈥檛 actually know why it is they blog - and some don鈥檛 admit to blogging as though it鈥檚 some kind of social disease 鈥 鈥淚 don鈥檛 blog myself, but I blog for others鈥. For some it鈥檚 a hobby, for some it鈥檚 a diary, for some it鈥檚 their work, for some it鈥檚 a way of networking, for some it鈥檚 a way of making money, for some it鈥檚 exhibitionism, for some it鈥檚 none of the above. They just do it because.
Thanks to all those that turned up. I must admit at being slightly worried about the picture of the cup that was left behind (see below). Nuts and bolts? Perhaps there鈥檚 a need for a blog about things people leave behind after blog meets.
Festival Pavilion
I had the offer of tasting some of Heston Blumenthal鈥檚 Chilled Summer Treats last night, but I decided to stay with the Bloggers and instead sampled the slightly warmer Mushroom Stroganoff in the Festival Pavilion. A good portion of mushrooms in a creamy sauce on a bed of rice with extra vegetables and salad served on a stylish plastic plate. All that and change from a tenner.
Under the canvas of the Pavilion with the rain outside I felt like I was on holiday in North Wales, the only difference being that Mum and Dad never had a live band playing folk music from around the world. The band was called 鈥淢uhumphamum鈥 I think, or it could have been 鈥淢edhomemonth鈥. I made a proper effort to listen to their name when they were thanked at the end, 鈥淢phftplumb鈥, I think the MC said but I may have been wrong.
Tonight
I鈥檓 off to see The Pianist. It鈥檚 had rave reviews so I can鈥檛 wait. I may even take a prawn sandwich with me for company.
Blogs
Those that blogged about last night鈥檚 meet are as follows (I will update this as more appear):
Some Photos from Bloggers Meetup
- 10 Jul 07, 12:08 AM
The flickr mosaic above was made using . Got your own photos of the evening? Tag them with so that we can find them.
By the way, did anyone lose a cup (top left) full of short screws and nuts?
Bloggers Meetup at Manchester International Festival
- 9 Jul 07, 07:40 PM
We're at the , the meeting place for the Manchester International Festival, outside Manchester Central, the building formerly known as the G-Mex. Tag your photos with so we can find them. It's a blog! Not a log! has some up already.
We're inviting bloggers in attendance to produce their own videos and upload them straight from their mobiles or via email to a specially set up :
Manchester International Festival: Day 12
- 9 Jul 07, 09:14 AM
I learned two lessons last night. Firstly, I have no idea where to start when it comes to reviewing classical music. I popped along to the Bridgewater Hall to see the world premier of . I must admit I like classical music. I know the kind I like and the kind I don鈥檛 like, but put me in a room full of classical music geeks and you might as well put me in a glass jar and label me 鈥榯hick cut鈥.
But I鈥檓 told that have to pass some kind of comment on the music, so here goes. It was great.
Not enough? OK, how about this. A single piano note repeated was joined by a harp and a violin and one of those horns that looks like it had been wrapped round someone鈥檚 neck six times. And then all the other members of the 大象传媒 Philharmonic joined in with various wind and wood instruments. I want a kettledrum. They鈥檙e really cool, but a bugger to get on the tram.
So, William Orbit. Fantastic, although someone did describe him as having a face that had been 'lived in'.
I was sat close to a couple of guys who look like they write for Classical Music Magazine or String Monthly or Horn of the Week, so I must look out for a copy and see how they鈥檝e approached it.
I鈥檓 also going to look out for a review of the Polish Rap Night taking place in Jillys on Oxford Road when I passed.
The second thing I learned was that no matter how desperate things get, no matter how late you are to get somewhere, never run for a bus while wearing a loose top and strapless bra.
Tonight
It's the 大象传媒 Manchester Blog Meet in the Festival Pavilion from 6pm. I'm sure there will be lots to talk and blog about. I've also got an appointment with some of
Blogs
Kapital is getting a bit of a rough ride across the board. says that it's been "Shot in a way that makes Manchester looks like a flimsy cardboard film set". While says "Kapital is abysmal". I guess the DVD will not be on many Wish Lists this Christmas.
Manchester International Festival: Day 11
- 8 Jul 07, 08:41 AM
Many a true word spoken in jest - well not quite true. It wasn't actually a heat wave, but the sun did shine on The Great Indoors yesterday. Fortunately some of was outdoors so I managed to catch a bit of much needed Vitamin whatever it is you get from the sun.
The Great Indoors is a whole family event with crazy musical instruments, circus (human and insect), , Gingerbread Men and loads of other things that the young 'uns will tug at your trousers and skirts demanding to 'go on'. And what's more it's free. Free I tell you. So if you missed it yesterday, go today, there's only tennis or Cliff Richard singing on the telly.
Tonight
At the time of writing I've just had to fight my way through a wave of singers from the who've been rehearsing at the 大象传媒. I think they were heading out on a synchronised shopping spree to Primark to find something suitable to wear for the show at The Bridgewater Hall. It's the world premier of and I don't doubt for one minute that it will be anything less than brilliant.
Manchester International Festival: Day 10
- 7 Jul 07, 09:55 AM
Love. Love love. Love, love, love. Love. Love. Love love, love. It doesn鈥檛 quite work the same written down as it did when I heard it on . Basically they鈥檇 taken the word love out of hundreds of songs and strung them all together into one long audio piece. I missed the beginning, but I鈥檓 guessing it was called 鈥楲ove鈥 or something wittily similar.
Anyway, that鈥檚 what I listened to as I was driving into town yesterday. The day before it was some bizarre mix of an old foreign language lesson where all the non English words had been replaced with birdsong. I can now order a large beer, yellow socks and medicated toilet paper in sparrow. It鈥檚 art you see and so Art Radio is a really good name for the experimental station broadcasting this kind of stuff on FM and the Internet.
I was thinking about do a recording of me cutting my toenails and sending it to them, but somebody has probably already done it mixed in with a Whitney Houston track.
If you pop into the Cornerhouse you can see the radio station at work up on the second floor, not that there鈥檚 a lot to see, but then radio鈥檚 like that.
Up on the top floor however, there鈥檚 something far more interesting to watch. It鈥檚 by Rachel Davies, a one time member of the Manchester Girl鈥檚 Choir. The installation opens with spoken memories from former members of the choir, moves on through an interesting mix of Gary Barlow and the Girls鈥 Choir singing Want You Back for Good - apparently he gave his personal permission for the song to be used. Finally there鈥檚 a wonderful piece of creativity with the entire choir dressed in blue falling over. You really need to be there.
I also popped into the Central Library to see the exhibition by Steve McQueen (no, not the one that was in The Great Escape). A large wooden box contains a series of vertical draws that when slid out reveal large sheets of stamps made with photographs of British soldiers killed in Iraq. I鈥檓 not sure that stamps are a fitting tribute to those that gave up their lives, but the families seem happy with the whole thing. What I did find slightly chilling after looking at a number of these sheets was to open a drawer and find it empty 鈥 perhaps just waiting for the next 鈥榢illed in action鈥 face to appear.
Blogs
introduces us to , while we get 's view on Monkey. I'm not quite sure what is all about, but they're encouraging you all to come to our Blog Meet on Monday, so I'll give them a mention (for free). Don't forget to let us know if you plan on coming.
Today
I鈥檓 off to spend the afternoon at Manchester Central for . It promises a whole weekend of activities and adventure all inside Manchester Central. Expect a heat wave.
Manchester International Festival: Day 9
- 6 Jul 07, 09:14 AM
It鈥檚 like banging your head against a brick wall. Honestly, some people. You rave about something and then they ask you if you really liked it. And marks out of ten? Nine, no ten. Really? OK, eleven or twelve. Look, I really hate marking things out of ten. If I give something top marks then there鈥檚 nowhere to go when something better comes along. I gave a nine.
Then along comes and I鈥檓 forced into giving it a ten. Don鈥檛 get me wrong, it deserves it. Not that it鈥檚 any better than Monkey, it鈥檚 just amazing for a Waitrose trolley full of other reasons. The puppetry, the story adaptation, the visualisation and the music (more about that in a moment) were all outstanding. But by giving it the perfect ten, I鈥檓 left high and dry if something better comes along. So from now on, I鈥檒l not be engaging on a scoring system. If I鈥檓 asked to mark out of ten I shall make a mockery of the whole scoring system and respond with something really funny like 鈥 鈥渕arks out of ten, um, fifteen.鈥 Unless it鈥檚 crap then I鈥檒l say something even more funny like - 鈥渕arks out of ten, um, have you heard the one about the man who sticks his fingers up your nose?鈥
So anyway, Dead Wedding. It鈥檚 a fantastic theatrical adaptation of the Greek Myth telling the story of Orpheus. Putting into words what did with their wonderful sets and puppets is almost impossible, what I will say is that it was like an opera without words.
music provided the perfect canvas for the characters to paint the tragic tale of Orpheus searching for his dead bride in the underworld. What followed was a dark, nightmarish performance with -like stage props mixed with surreal film and gentle animation. And the music, did I mention the music? Always just enough to set the scene or to submerge us into a fantasy of electronic effects mixed with live music.
I did say on 大象传媒 Radio Manchester last night that after Monkey, this is the next 鈥榤ust see鈥 at the Manchester International Festival and I wasn鈥檛 kidding. But hurry it鈥檚 only here until tomorrow at the Library Theatre.
Johnny Vegas
Are from the Manchester Evening News and me the only two people on the planet who 鈥榞ot鈥 the whole Interiors thing? We sat next to each other last night at the Library reliving some of the highlights of Interiors. Kevin was rather amused to learn that the much talked about pan-rack of Mr Vegas鈥 performance was in fact really his and to add to the irony it was bespoke. Of course you鈥檇 need to see the performance to get all of that and can I suggest you ignore all the other reviews and what people may have told you and what you may have seen on the telly and try your hardest to get hold of a ticket.
Kapital
I met up with director Greg Hall last night. I don鈥檛 think I gave him too hard a time over his film, which I didn鈥檛 really enjoy (and I鈥檓 not the only one 鈥 ). I did question his portrayal of Manchester and suggested that he could have filmed the kind of 鈥榰nderbelly鈥 in any town or city and that by suggesting that Manchester was central to the themes was perhaps a tad unfair. To a certain degree he concurred. 鈥淚 was asked to make it in Manchester for the Festival鈥. So it鈥檚 our own fault.
Sadly those expecting to see were disappointed and so was Greg. Apparently they had to scrap the screening as the venue had been double-booked. Ooops.
Other blogs
It鈥檚 not really part of the Manchester International Festival, but has been to see the Kylie exhibition at the Manchester Art Gallery. 鈥淚鈥檝e always thought of Kylie Minogue as the poor person鈥檚 Madonna. They share a nasal whine and make disposable pop that鈥檚 sometimes quite good and often quite bad.鈥 Read .
Today
I鈥檓 not sure my body could take another night in a theatre or cinema so I鈥檓 off to have a look at some of the visual art and installations around Manchester for the Festival. I may even tune in to a bit of , the Cornerhouse鈥檚 short-term experimentation into alternative radio.
Manchester International Festival: Day 8
- 5 Jul 07, 08:54 AM
What is it about cinemas and people walking in half way through the film? Worse still, after about ten minutes some idiot two rows in front of you needs a comfort break. I could have a little sympathy if they鈥檇 suddenly remembered that they鈥檇 left the gas on at home or their granny on a treadmill in the Health Club, but they just want to go to the toilet. I would have had a good moan about them to the couple sitting next to me, but they were in the middle of some existential conversation. YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT AT HOME WATCHING TV.
Anyway, perhaps they thought they were at home as the film, , kept making me think of Eastenders, only a lot more depressing. At times I really could have done with Pauline Fowler to cheer me up or Ethel with a Willie joke.
Basically Kapital tells a series of fairytales from around the world, but with a big city (Manchester), contemporary spin.
I found myself struggling to sympathise with any of the characters and to be honest I cared more about the guy on the other side of the aisle who dropped his mobile phone half way through the movie than I did about anything on the screen.
Perhaps I鈥檓 being a little unfair. Those that stayed around for the question and answer session seemed to love it. The music by was stunning and the guy on the front row who鈥檇 just raved about what he鈥檇 seen (well he was in spitting distance of the Director) said that he could have watched the film with his eyes closed. I know what he meant.
The Q+A session turned out to be quite useful actually as it gave writer and director Greg Hall a chance to explain himself. 鈥淚t鈥檚 all about emotions and feelings鈥. 鈥淭he film is meant to be quite cryptic鈥. 鈥淚t鈥檚 all about artists working outside of their comfort zones鈥. Comfort zones. Comfort. Comfort break. I need the loo.
Tonight
It is Thursday isn鈥檛 it? I鈥檓 beginning to lose track of time and space. I half expect to walk into the Festival Pavilion (which is much bigger on the inside) and find and in there discussing the best way to reverse the polarity of David Tennant鈥檚 neutron flow. Well if it is Thursday then I鈥檓 down for a trip to The Library Theatre for . I saw Ronnie Burkett鈥檚 Theatre of Marionettes there in May and loved it. So I鈥檓 rather excited by this new production by more masters of the puppets, . Later tonight I also get to meet the director of Kapital. I wonder if he鈥檒l have read my review. I best take some mates with me.
Bloggers
I know that tickets for Monkey are hard to come by, but really, the lengths some people will go to see the show. .
in The Temple - "I鈥檓 not a huge theatre-goer, and an even lousier public speaker, but I thought the play was well written and well executed".
went to see The Ground Beneath Her Feet - "it鈥檚 exciting to see such adventurous, high profile arts events (like this and the more successful Monkey) happening in Manchester".
Manchester International Festival: Day 7
- 4 Jul 07, 01:41 PM
I went house hunting last night. A nice semi-detached freehold in Old Trafford. The guy selling the house looked familiar, but it couldn鈥檛 have been Johnny Vegas as he was smartly dressed, clean shaven and had an air about him that would suggest he鈥檇 be much happier with a glass of Chablis in his hand rather than a pint Guinness. And anyway, his name was Jeffrey Parkin and there were various letters lying around with his name on to prove it.
Isn鈥檛 buying a home all about location, location, location? If so this one would be snapped up for the asking price of 拢235,000, however, as far as this property is concerned there are one or two issues to be addressed inside. If I say anymore they鈥檒l send the bailiffs round to remove my heart.
Manchester International Festival鈥檚 is a highly desirable piece of intimate theatre created by Michael Pennington and Stewart Lee. Every performance will be different, very much depending who the other fifteen or so people are in your tour party. I just hope you don鈥檛 get someone asking really stupid questions at the most inappropriate moment 鈥 if the girl in the red top is reading this, I mean you.
Blog meet
Don鈥檛 forget to let us know if you are planning on coming along to the meet-up on Monday night in the Festival Pavilion from 6. With free WiFi there鈥檚 a great opportunity to meet up with other Manchester Bloggers and update your blog live over a drink. And you just never know who you might bump into in there, last night I'd swear blind that was in there having a drink.
Tonight
Off to the Cornerhouse this evening for the premier of Kaptial, use of urban Manchester as a canvas for folklore and fairytales - but don't expect Little Red Riding Hood in Victoria Park.
Manchester International Festival: Day 6
- 3 Jul 07, 11:00 AM
First up today some news for Manchester Bloggers. How do you fancy meeting up for a bit of chat and WiFi/Phone blogging this coming Monday July 9? We鈥檝e reserved a table in the from 6pm. I鈥檒l be there with Robin Hamman who can talk you through blogging on the go if you haven鈥檛 dipped your toe in that joyous pool yet. There鈥檚 free WiFi in the Pavilion and food and beer (but sadly they鈥檙e not free). Any of you who want to make a night of it may get the chance to plug your blog on 大象传媒 Radio Manchester as Phil Wood presents his first hour from the Pavilion between 10 and 11pm.
If you鈥檇 like to join us, and let鈥檚 face it, who wouldn鈥檛, then please drop us an e-mail or comment on this post so we get an idea of how many of you there will be.
But is it art?
I鈥檓 not sure if it is part of the developing Festival fringe but I noticed an interesting installation along Oxford Road. Not sure what it鈥檚 called, Shattered Dreams or something like that, but basically it鈥檚 a series of vandalised bus shelters with piles of jewel-like pieces of glass scattered on the pavement. I inadvertently removed one the pieces of glass when it stuck in the tread on my shoe. I鈥檓 not sure if I should return it or have it framed.
For All the Wrong Reasons
Last night I sat in my seat at with a mug of tea in one hand and my soggy mac in the other. is a play about 鈥榠ssues鈥 and to be honest I did worry that it鈥檚 could be some kind of school performance. Far from it.
Over the loud music the cast delivered a series of monologue-type performances that interacted from time to time with other cast members. It all seemed to take place on one of Blackpool鈥檚 piers, but you鈥檇 be forgiven for thinking that you were in Zurich in 1916.
But it wasn鈥檛 and neither was it the kind of stuff you鈥檇 see during a summer season at Blackpool, or at The Royal Exchange or Library Theatre and not the sort of thing you鈥檇 take your granny to or anyone on their first date or鈥
I had to keep reminding myself that this was the Contact and that the production was in collaboration with the Belgian Victoria theatre who鈥檚 work is best described as experimental 鈥 so that鈥檚 why that guy was dressed as a rabbit. Not for the feint hearted, a strong cast presented language and imagery to match and after my ears adjusted to the sound I found myself enjoying it, but perhaps for all the wrong reasons.
Monkey business
I heard something interesting last night. 鈥淎pparently Monkey are using the wrong kind of bamboo鈥. I鈥檝e not idea what that means and part of me doesn鈥檛 want to know, but in the interests of having nothing else to write, I鈥檒l do my best to find out.
Tonight
I鈥檓 off to see Johnny Vegas in . I鈥檝e been told nothing about it, including where it is. Should be an interesting evening.
Blogs
Julia at has posted an interesting account of one of the Festival Debates. 鈥淲hilst the name of the debate was 'do art and politics mix?', the debate itself would better go under the question 'should art and politics mix?' .
also reports on the debate .
Manchester International Festival: Day 5
- 2 Jul 07, 01:12 PM
You can have too much of a good thing, so I decided to take a day off from the Festival yesterday and ended up chasing a small crab along a beach in North Wales. I'm told the Festival managed to carry on without me.
spent some time getting to grips with the small wooden spoons they were using at Manchester Dines. I think they're all part of the Festival's sustainability commitment. I say this because on Saturday I met a guy from the who's at the Festival setting up a new British Standard for events like this. Apparently it's the world鈥檚 first national standard on sustainable event management and Manchester, not for the first time, is the testing ground.
Basically what it will mean is that if you organise anything from a Garden party to the Olympic Games - and let's face it we've all done that, in the future you'll be able to show off the British Standard logo saying that you are sustainable.
I bet there are people out there who collect BSI numbers like trains. Stood in the pouring rain outside a marquee with a notebook writing down .
Another Manchester First
Also on Saturday I met the daughter of the man who introduced kebabs to this country. No, I didn't believe it either, but apparently the first shop was on Oxford Street in Manchester opposite what was once the Odeon Cinema. Loulla Astin is from Kosmos Greek Restaurant and her father, Solomon, had this crazy idea to sell Greek food from a cafe he bought. His friends told him he was mad, but forty years later those slabs of minced lamb can been seen revolving in windows on every high street in the country, the same high streets that are lined with discarded green chillies on a Sunday morning. This Festival is an education.
Tonight
All being well I'm off to the Contact tonight to see For All the Wrong Reasons. A new play by Lies Pauwels from Victoria theatre company in Ghent, Belgium. I'm sure it'll be more entertaining than, say, chasing crabs.
The 大象传媒 is not responsible for the content of external internet sites
