A bid for the history books
BRUSSELS: Who says this job's without perks? Today I get to enter the record books. I'm on board British Airways's longest ever non-stop flight - from Brussels to Melbourne. 12,000 miles in 19 hours to Oz, courtesy of Blair Air.
When I suggest to Number 10's spokesman that I will be filing my entry into the record books, he remarks - not altogether reasuringly - that "we haven't actually done it yet, Nick". Such nice people! I do hope my wife, who fears flying, isn't reading.
Lest you suspect this a mere jolly or jaunt to see the Commonwealth Games athletics finals and the closing ceremony (duty will, I fear, force me to be present), allow me to relate the "purpose" of this trip.
It is to be, we are told, "an illustrated guide to the world's inter-dependency". (Yes, I smiled wryly at that line, too - it's worthy of one of those upmarket travel brochures.) The reason for this claim is an itinerary that includes :
- A speech to the Australian Parliament about "Global Alliances" which will praise Australia for its involvement in a war in Iraq even though it would be easy for them to believe that the Middle East had nothing to do with them
- A visit to New Zealand - the first by a British PM since the 1950s - whose forces are helping to police Afghanistan
- A speech about climate change a little nearer than usual to that hole in the ozone layer
- A visit to the world's biggest Muslim country, Indonesia, which Tony Blair will hail as a model Muslim nation since it is a democracy and, he claims, promotes moderate Islam. A country which has, of course, grim experience of terrorism and natural disaster
The large party of travelling journalists may have their minds on other things too. Things tend to go wrong for leaders travelling abroad - particularly to hot places when their voters are shivering back home and particularly when there's "trouble at mill".
I recall the Blairs dressed in Nehru suits in Bangalore as commuters sat on platforms getting chillblains as more trains were cancelled. And, of course, the tragic death of David Kelly while we were flying from the US to Japan.
Look further back and you recall Margaret Thatcher in Paris on the day of the challenge to her leadership, John Major complaining that some of his backbenchers needed the "men in white coats flapping" when in Singapore and, of course, Jim Callaghan's "crisis, what crisis" (which he didn't actually say but everyone thinks he did) on the way back from Guadalope.
So, I may be writing and broadcasting about "an illustrated guide to the world's inter-dependency" over the next week or maybe not. My passport's at the ready, my BA complimentary long-haul pyjamas are waiting to be unwrapped and a glass of something nice is in hand to ease away the 19 hours on board. Oh yes, my laptop's ready. Stay tuned.
I'm 
