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Under normal circumstances, I'd feel very uncomfortable about using the word "inspiration" when describing any disabled person. But I take my magnificent hat off to this chap: lives in a village in Vietnam. His legs are paralysed as the result of a childhood bout of polio. His parents sold everything they owned, but couldn't come up with enough money to send him to Hanoi for the medical treatment he needed. He hasn't been able to leave the village for 20 years.

So, what place can there possibly be in a poor rural farming community in Vietnam for a man who can't walk? Nguyen must be a terrible drain on his local economy. His neighbours must resent having to provide food for him when he can't work in the fields himself, right? Wrong. Nguyen plays a hugely significant part in village life by virtue of the fact that he's spent the last 20 years teaching his neighbours literacy skills.

Éù Visit

Poor old David Blunkett seems to be lurching from one scandal to another at the moment - the latest concerning his before his re-appointment to the Cabinet. The coverage of it has prompted Stephen Glover in to ask: "Why can't the news media treat Blunkett like any other politician?" Well, I wasn't aware they weren't treating him exactly the same as any other MP caught in the middle of a dodgy situation, but let's bear with Mr Glover and see what he has to say about the Blunkmeister.

So first, Blunkett is "a remarkable man who has overcome formidable obstacles to achieve high office". Ah, it's the old "Is it because I is blind?" argument. Not so surprising, I guess - we've all heard that one before. Then the article goes on to look at Blunkett's portrayal in the recent Channel 4 / More4 satirical drama A Very Social Secretary, which seemed to suggest that "he was a sex-crazed power maniac, idiotic to the point of stupidity" - although here Stephen Glover argues that although "it was meant to be satire . . . satire should have a core of truth".

Blunkett a sex-crazed power maniac, you say? Now there's a description of the Work & Pensions Secretary that I had never heard before . . .

For me, though, the really curious part of the article comes when it argues that newspapers and broadcasters have been ignoring the DNA firm directorship 'scandal', even downgrading its importance:

". . . there is really only one explanation for the generally comatose reaction. Despite everything he has done, the press remains, because of his disability, more indulgent of Mr Blunkett in his private life than it would be of other ministers. Though I admire and like him, and found his depiction in that Channel 4 programme grotesque, I wish we could treat him like any other politician."

And so Crippled Monkey remains confused. Taking a look at the headlines and the front pages this morning, Blunkett is all over them, mired in the middle of another juicy revelation. I can't see that the press are treating him any differently from any other MP caught in a similar situation. In fact, the way in which one story appears to follow straight on from another when it comes to David Blunkett seems to suggest exactly the opposite - that it's open season on him at the moment, whether or not he's a blindie. What do you think?

Nope, not speed dating for single crips. When Lady Bracknell was in the Young Ornithologist's Club, this was called, "bird watching". Not any more, apparently . . .

have a hugely comprehensive site, including photographs of such rare species as the lesser spotted These guys arrange field trips as far afield as Kenya and Canada (possibly to get as far away as possible from the Bill Oddie) and, while all levels of mobility are catered for, they suggest that participants might need to have "an intrepid spirit". Oh, and the needs of birds and other wildife take precedence over the birders' needs. Which presumably means that you need to be really careful about what might be getting inadvertently squished to death under your wheels.

The association symbol is a very sad penguin with a broken wing. (Who knew the penguin was indigenous to the UK?) Members can buy a cloth patch depicting the crippled penguin, and sew it on to their anoraks.

Éù Visit

Here on Ouch's weblog, we're thrilled, delighted and terribly excited to announce that we've signed up an additional blogger to join our dedicated band of web surfers sniffing out disability stories big and small from across the net. Fresh from taking part in our Guest Bloggers Fortnight, please cheer and clap wildly to welcome back Lady Bracknell to the weblog team. She's very aristocratic, so show some respect, won't you?

If you look carefully, you'll find a new link installed at the top of many pages across the entire bbc.co.uk website. It's labelled 'Accessibility help', and if you click on it you'll be taken to the ´óÏó´«Ã½'s new accessibility website called My Web My Way. The site has been put together via a partnership between the ´óÏó´«Ã½ and , and aims to explain the many ways you can change your browser, computer, keyboard and mouse settings to make the web more accessible for you.

There's info for users of the three main operating systems - Windows, Apple Mac and Linux (which, contrary to what I previously thought, isn't a kind of floor covering used mainly in kitchens and bathrooms), and the whole site has the whizzy facility to change colours and backgrounds to suit your viewing experience.

So get on over to My Web My Way and let them know what you think.

If you're having a bad day, don't read any further.

- Bringing Employment to Local Mongs - is a charitable website set up to help disabled people get into employment. Fantastic, disabled people certainly need all the support they can get. Power to them! Anything anyone does is . . . woah, hold on a second . . . yes, this is the ´óÏó´«Ã½. Normal webcasting will resume shortly.

The front page of the BELM website reads:

"This is the official website of BELM (Bringing Employment to Local Mongs). Our job is to get YOU into employment. Why sit around all day grinning and making weird noises? Why not contribute to society instead of being a big, daft drain on resources? After all, there's only so much fun to be had by us laughing at you."

Ladies and gentlemen, it's a spoof website. Is it designed to cause mass offence? Has it been created by a crip with an over-developed sense of humour? Schoolkids who don't quite appreciate the world and its people properly? Someone shunned by a disabled they fell in love with?

The shock value made us laugh in the office immediately. It might make you laugh. But, settle down fellow spackers, this isn't exactly cricket, is it?

In the past, disabled people have bought the domain names for big disability charities and created spoof or "we hate" websites at those addresses. Famously, Leonard Cheshire had to wrestle their domain name back off Paul Darke a few years ago. We're kind of getting the idea that this might not be a political disabled person, though.

We're bringing this to you as a public service, an appreciation of "what's out there on the web". We don't like linking to it and boosting their hits, but we thought you might want to see it. And outrage is probably the response they're looking for?

Nice inclusion of Scope's logo here too. If Scope didn't get the , they certainly ain't gonna get this one.

Tell us what you think by clicking the comment option below.

Update: A number of Ouch readers have contacted us to say that the site no longer appears to be reachable, although we're still able to access it from here in the ´óÏó´«Ã½. We spoke to Scope's press office, and they confirmed that they - along with many individual web users - had complained to the spoof website's internet service provider about the material on the site. Scope also complained about the use of their logo without permission. In light of this, it would seem that the ISP has pulled belm.org.uk from the net.

Crippled Monkey has discovered some rather fabulous tips on .

I'm getting all giggly as I write this. Can anyone tell me why? Yes, it's a thoughtful guide on how to cater for a disabled house guest. (I hate myself for writing this weblog entry).

Helpful hint number 5

"Offer us a dress rehearsal visit prior to the main event. That way, we can make an assessment together as to how to "make this festivity visit work." It may also be a reality check that says that we will have to live with remaining in the most accessible, safe portion of your home."

The good people of about.com are hosting this box of delights, written by someone who hurt themselves once so they get it.

One hitherto unmentioned aspect of this guide is that, as you can see, it is written from what I think is meant to be the perspective of a disabled person . . . though looks more as if it is written with the voice of a pet cocker spaniel: "remember not to tread on my tail or my fragile small furry paws with your giant human boots while walking round the house".

Yes, I know I'm being uncharitable again. She was being nice. Why can't I stop myself? Why oh why oh why? It's like a red rag to a monkey. Maybe you'd like to analyse my behaviour? Can you put your finger on my issues?

(Thanks to Ouch reader Larae for pointing us to this, which we've now printed out in case of an emergency and/or Christmas.)

Over to the weblog's World Affairs desk now, for an interesting news story coming out of Canada, which is testing the country's attitudes to both disability and immigration to the limit.

The Supreme Court has been deciding if the Canadian government can reject wealthy would-be immigrants due to the impairments of members of their family. This follows the case of South African multi-millionaire David Hilewitz, whose application to emigrate to Canada was rejected because his son has learning difficulties. The businessman wants to bring his family and $5 million in investment to the country, and promised to pick up the extra costs involved in educating his son, Gavin. But the immigration authorities rejected the family's application, insisting that Mr Hilewitz's son could place "excessive demands" on the social system.

But this isn't the only such case being considered by the Canadian Supreme Court. An application from a Dutch family called DeJong, who hoped to settle on a dairy farm in southwest Ontario, was rejected because one of their daughters is "mildly mentally retarded" (their words, not ours!). Like the Hilewitz family, they had also offered to pay any extra costs associated with schooling.

The Hilewitz's lawyer has stated that these cases go to the very heart of Canada's reputation as a tolerant, welcoming society, if it is seen as refusing entry to anyone with a disability or health condition: "Canada is closing the door, not opening the door, and it's based on 'Look what could happen'."

So has there been an outcome? Well, yes. Last Friday, the Supreme Court decided 7 - 2 in favour of the Hilewitz and DeJong families having their applications reconsidered. But significantly, it's because the families' wealth and their willingness to pay for special services for their children are relevant factors in arriving at a decision about their immigration, whereas a family with dependants who could cause "excessive demands on social services" continue to offer good grounds for rejection.

You can read more about these cases from these Canadian news sources: , and .

Crippled Monkey here. Yes, it's me. I'm back. And since I'm terribly modest, I know you're pleased to see me. Thank you to the four Ouch Guest Bloggers who have done such a superb job - possibly too superb a job - in keeping my desk warm for me while I was on holiday.

But now, back to the web-surfing, and one story that caught my eye whilst I was away, which I've absolutely been champing at the bit to bring you, is the news that squeaky-voiced comedian and winner of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!, Joe Pasquale, can seemingly ! I know! I was as shocked as you are now! But it's true (ish):

"A man who has been unable to speak for almost 50 years has uttered his first words: 'I want to see Joe Pasquale.' Paul Hibbard is 47 years old and never been able to talk because of cerebral palsy. But he was given a Steven Hawking-style voice generator, then stunned staff at his Warwickshire care home by asking to see the squeaky-voiced comic."

Crippled Monkey would just like to add that I'm not a great fan of the Pasquale comic genius. But if your poor disablified life has been changed forever by the healing powers of a top-flight (or even not so top-flight) comedian - whether it was Bernard Manning, Wee Jimmy Krankie, Les Dennis or even Jim Davidson (OK, maybe not Jim Davidson) - then drop me a line here at Ouch. Please. I'm serious. [Link via ]

Well, our Guest Blogger Fortnight is drawing to a close. As I write, Crippled Monkey is jetting his way home from his sun-kissed holiday with far too many tacky gifts for the Ouch team (I hope). We'd like to say a big thank you to our four Ouch readers who have stepped into the Monkey's shoes for the past two weeks, and let them sign off.

Katie Fraser: "Hello to all Ouch readers. Hope you've enjoyed reading the posts I put up for you, hope they were interesting. I know I should have done more, but hopefully they were okay for you! See you, Ouch readers!"

Lady Bracknell: "I volunteered for this guest blogging lark because it coincided rather nicely with my being on leave for a fortnight, and I assumed it would keep me entertained. Which it has. I hope at least some of you have been entertained as well. Anyway, it's back to the day job for me on Monday, and the Ouch team can breathe a collective sigh of relief in the knowledge that they will no longer have to field blog entries from me on an hourly basis. A fond farewell to all from Lady Bracknell and her truly magnificent hat."

Sal Feehan: "Hiya gang! It's my last day on the blog. I've enjoyed filling in for Crippled Monkey over the last two weeks, and I hope you've enjoyed reading my humble offerings. I hope they've cheered you up, thrown a bone of hope, sparked a debate, and put the mutant case for the defence in style (and, naturally, in the best possible taste)! So it only remains for me to say - until we meet again (in cyberspace) - tatty bye, au revoir and auf wiedersehen, pets!"

Simon Stevens: "I've enjoyed my time as a guest blogger - it felt like being in a virtual reality show like Big Brother, being dropped in at the deep end and enjoying every moment of it, but leaving before it got too much! Thanks for the Ouch team and the readers, and welcome back to Crippled Monkey - we did our best to keep the place in one piece, honest!"

In a new venture, (who describe themselves as the UK's leading arts organisation made up of disabled and deaf people) are offering training days for deaf and disabled people who are interested in becoming a board member of an arts organisation.

They say: "Get On Board has been researched and devised using the direct experiences of disabled and deaf people within the disability and deaf arts sector as well as the mainstream. The aim is to explore the process of governance; share best practise and assist participants in finding a suitable organisation to work with."

The seminars (which will take place at the Tate Gallery, London) will run on 26 November for disabled people, and 28 January for deaf people. You can download further details, and the from the Shape Arts website.

have run a pilot of a very similar scheme for the last couple of years. (Indeed, my place on their own board was offered to me as a result of my having attending the training.) Funding for continuation of the scheme is currently being sought. If you'd be interested in taking part, keep an eye on the for news of developments.

While we may think we have good disability arts here in the UK, New Zealand seems to have gone one better. They are in the middle of a Deaf Awareness Week, and one of its main events is the . The competition, themed around Planet of the Deaf, showcases short films either written, produced or directed by deaf people.

The winner of the competition is Victoria Manning with her short film Land of the Deaf, which she both acted in and directed. The film won three awards: Best Comedy, Best Actress and Best Short Film. The short movie tells the story of a woman who begins to lose her deafness - eventually becoming 'profoundly hearing' and learning to cope with her disability. Nothing new to us here!

Land of the Deaf is claimed to be a funny film that makes a statement about Deaf people's lives and dreams. It will be shown in the UK next March by the British Film Institute.

So should we be having our own disabled BATFAs?

OK, there isn't really a society of deaf poets. I just couldn't resist the pun. But ASL-signed deaf performance poetry appears to be flourishing in the US, if is anything to go by. Some deaf poets perform without a translator. Peter Cook, who was interviewed for the article, uses a translator when he has a hearing audience because he believes "it's important to reach them and show what ASL poetry is all about".

You can watch a video of Peter performing his own poetry on website.

I've spent some time trying to find comprehensive information on BSL poetry but, as far as I can gather, that information isn't all collected together in one place anywhere. But we definitely do have some BSL poets in the UK. There's an article on page 3 of the Bristol University June 2005 which might help if you're searching for more information on this subject yourself.

Greetings, fellow mutants! Have you noticed the reports in the press about the right-to-die plans contained within the going through Parliament, and the court case centred on the baby - which arrived at a partial victory for her family just this morning? After initially reading about both these ongoing stories, I groaned. After initially reading about both these ongoing stories, I groaned: "Oh no! Here we go again!"

Two questions. If Charlotte is improving, why didn't the court rescind the resuscitation ban earlier? And as for the Joffe Bill, its advocates say that it's to ease our pain and suffering, but I wonder whose - theirs or ours? There is no reason for people to suffer from debilitating symptoms and - both physical and psychological - from any condition. There are many ways that all pain can be controlled by conventional and alternative means: I wonder why we're not told about them?

So, what to do? Well, how about this? (Feel free to argue.) First, get a (and a sense of !) about your condition. Second, be proactive: get informed about your condition and the treatments available - worldwide if needs be! Third, surround yourself with positive and supportive people to be there for you in both good and bad times. And finally, get bloody-minded with all who are negative.

Here on Ouch, both Laurence Clark and columnist Adam Hills have written on this subject in the past, and I'm with them 100%. As I wrote in my Test Mad blog entry a few days ago, we need to change the language dealing with illness and disability from negative to positive. The world at large appears to have lost its compassion and needs a reminder that we're not . Our voice needs to be heard! I know that it's an uphill struggle - the same one all fellow mutants face each and every day. Just remember that it's a half-full glass, and that where there's life, there's hope.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've only just realised this site exists: . My former reputation as being the font of all knowledge when it comes to tracking down disability-related websites is now in shreds. And I don't think the fact that I don't drive, and that I avoid London at all costs, is any excuse.

If I did drive in London, I've no doubt that I'd be consulting the site regularly. Once you've got a destination in mind, you just click on the relevant section of the map on the home page. That will open a new browser window containing a map which shows you where all the disabled parking bays are. You can pan in any direction if you need to extend your search a bit. If you click on the 'View by borough' link on the home page, you'll be whisked off to a map of London which is colour coded to provide information on how the blue badge rules are applied in each borough.

If you'd rather keep a map for the entire city in your glove compartment than print off pages relating to particular locations, you can buy the 2005 London Blue Badge Parking Guide using the 'buy a map' link. And if, like me, you'd really rather not visit London at all, you might be interested to know that Gowrings Mobility UK Road Atlas will be published in January. It is, according to the blurb, "a customised street atlas of 65 major UK cities showing locations of all Blue Badge parking, car parks, petrol station and concessions for Blue Badge holders across the UK".

Wotcha! I've just been flicking through the Liverpool Echo, and saw this snippet of good news: . It's a follow-up story about Jan Wilkes, who went to a private clinic in Holland for stem cell treatment for MS. The treatment has alleviated her symptoms to an unexpected degree: she can walk and has no pain. However, the report also states that in order to have the treatment they nearly had to sell the family home, until her colleagues at the local supermarket stepped in to raise the money.

On a positive note, this story illustrates that Jan and her family didn't give up, and found a treatment that has helped her immensely. However, it also illustrates that if there is a treatment available abroad - in this case, Holland - then you have to pay for it from your own pocket. I can understand why people with, say, motor neurone disease would travel to Beijing in order to have stem cells injected directly into their brain to try to alleviate their condition (as shown in the ´óÏó´«Ã½'s Horizon documentary series). However, I also feel that there a lot of people out there playing on the hopes of the desperate.

I know that stem cell therapy is an ethical hot potato, and that using cells from embryos is unpalatable to the majority of people. But there are scientists working on other methods, such as and - as in Jan Wilkes' case - cells from umbilical cords, that are palatable to both the populace and the medical ethicists.

Also, I can understand why UK medics are reluctant to advocate it, as they want to see if the treatment will last long-term and, more importantly, whether or not it's safe to give to patients. In essence, is right: we should be patient. We have to travel cautiously, but hopefully.

Before I saw this story - - I wouldn't have thought it possible that I could ever take umbrage at a news item which discourages abuse of disabled parking pays. But this is shocking. It starts badly with that title and, astonishingly, gets worse.

Those of us who are physically impaired bear "a magnitude of difficulties", apparently. And misuse of disabled parking bays adds an additional load to the "already-oppressive burden shouldered by persons suffering from a physical disorder". This language doesn't derive from the medical model of disability: no, it comes from the lesser-seen and, frankly, even more offensive, tragedy model.

Do I need to use a disabled bay? Yes. Is this because my life is a tragic and intolerable burden? No. And I object to the implication that it might be.

So thanks, Donna Mae Bean of the Kennebec Journal. Appreciate your support and all that. Just one quick question, though. Complete stab in the dark. Wild guess. You're not actually disabled, are you?

Editor's note: Ouch would like to offer our sincere apologies to Lady Bracknell for not being to able to provide a new Things That Make Me Very Angry blog category specifically for this post. Sorry.

So once you've been a disabled student, it follows that you become a disabled graduate. See, I went to university - nothing gets past me. Impressed, aren't you?

Anyway, if you are a disabled graduate, then the Disability and Effective Inclusion Policies (DEIP) Project, a collaboration between Lancaster and Sussex universities, would like to hear about your experiences of higher education, and learn more about the transition of moving into the workplace. How well prepared were you? What advice would you like to receive, if you had your time again?

To gather graduates' views, they've placed an online. If you've got a few minutes, go and answer their questions and share your opinions into the bargain.

Lady Bracknell does not condone theft. And she can't help but think that, when you've got an identifying feature as significant and permanent as a wheelchair, after you've been arrested could be taken to imply that long-term planning is possibly not your strongest suit.

However, Lady Bracknell can't help but be amused by the cops' assumption that, if you cuff a wheelie and then sling his chair in the boot, you've effectively immobilised him and it's completely safe to leave him in your own car unsupervised while you go and search his vehicle for evidence of more misgotten power tools. Not a mistake they'll be making again in a hurry . . .

The best bit, though, is that !

Lady Bracknell does not condone theft. And she can't help but think that, when you've got an identifying feature as significant and permanent as a wheelchair, after you've been arrested could be taken to imply that long-term planning is possibly not your strongest suit.

However, Lady Bracknell can't help but be amused by the cops' assumption that, if you cuff a wheelie and sling his chair in the boot, you've effectively immobilised him and it's completely safe to leave him in your own car unsupervised while you go and search his vehicle for evidence of more misgotten power tools. Not a mistake they'll be making again in a hurry . . .

And look,

I was just weaving my way round the web when I came across these little slices on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ - , and The Times - .

The articles are about Anna Hemmings, an elite flat water canoeist, and her battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, also known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (CFS / ME), and her comback to regain her world title at the Championships in Perth.

It's a subject close to this mutant host's heart. CFS is an illness that's much maligned and misunderstood by the medical profession, and by people in the street. Hosts (I hate the word 'sufferer' - it's so negative) tend to have type A personalities: we make the Duracell Bunny look lazy! Life is literally turned upside down in every way possible. A plethora of weird and not-so-wonderful symptoms appear, including extreme and debilitating exhaustion, insomnia and muscle pain. Why? It is a neurological, immunological and hormonal condition. It's reckoned that the hypothalmus - the part of the brain that controls all key body functions - goes bananas. As a result, it causes utter havoc with all the systems of the body and makes life absolute hell - take it from one who knows!

Recovery - if it happens - is more of an than a science, and what works for one person may not for another. This can take years. It's reckoned that 20% have full remission; for 60% it's partial; 20% remain severe. However, the potential for relapse is always there (host status is for life, not just Christmas!). So the story of Anna Hemmings essentially gives hope that recovery can happen. It illustrates - for anyone - that even when the odds are stacked against you there is a chance that you, not the house, will win.

With their campaign against disablism, it would be easy to think that is a 'pan-disability' organisation, and not the impairment specific one it actually is. But Scope is now going back to basics with a new project called - and yes, it's about CP!

The aim is for Scope to review its 'impairment activity', which they regard as a key competency, by consulting with people who have CP. The charity is therefore looking for people with CP to get in touch and share their views.

For more information, visit the web page, or email aboutcp@scope.org.uk.

I looked into different websites that have other disability news stories on it, like Ouch does, and found the site for America's . As I looked at the front page, I found that they were their former Vice Chairman, Christopher Reeve, on the first anniversary of his passing (an American word!), and saying how their feelings about him are poignant.

The website is quoted as saying: "Christopher was a role model and inspiration not only for America's 54 million men, women and children with disabilities, but also for the 600 million with disabilities worldwide". They also say that he "daily demonstrated to all of us, whether with or without disabilities, that we can all lead meaningful and productive lives, no matter what challenges we are called to confront".

What do you think about what they say in the article? I think it's a great article that salutes a great Vice Chairman of this organisation.

The Spazz wheelchair has been around for a long time in the States. I told a wheelie friend of mine about it last year and, being someone who doesn't take himself too seriously (after all, this is the chap who's had the frame of his own chair spray-painted glittery purple), he thought the name "Spazz" was hilarious.

The Spazz has finally propelled itself across the pond to the UK, and its name has garnered a great deal of media attention. Generally, I suspect, from the sort of people who are very keen to take offense on behalf of others, without having bothered to check first whether the people whose delicate sensibilities they think they're defending are actually offended. A spokesperson from is as saying: "It may be a good chair but we can't accept the name. If it carries on, it won't be long before children are calling each other 'spazzo' in the playground again".

Now, I make no claim to be intimately acquainted with what goes on in playgrounds, but I have to say I'd be very surprised if your average ten year old could demonstrate an encyclopaedic knowledge of wheelchair brand names. (Well, not unless objections to one particular brand name have been splashed all over the tabloid press, of course.)

As you can see from the attached picture, this is one sexy chair (and to prove the point, the manufacturers are also marketing the Spazz with the help of a disabled model clad in black PVC. Calm down, boys). It's Infinitely preferable, I would have thought, to the bog-standard NHS black and grey monstrosities which could never, by any stretch of the imagination, get away with describing themselves as "designer".

Can't we just leave this down to personal choice? If you love the chair, buy it. If you object strongly to the name, don't buy it. Buy another brand. Then contact the manufacturers of Spazz and tell them why you didn't buy it. They make their profits out of selling chairs. Like any other business, they'll respond to commercial pressure. If they find out that their potential UK customers are being put off, my guess is they'll change the name. But should they change the name of an internationally successful product just because groups who claim to represent its potential consumers object to it?

Here's an interesting one - an editorial comment from Mary Riddell in Sunday's Observer, in which she leaps to the defence of the Blunkmeister himself under the headline , following recent renewed scandals surrounding the Work and Pensions Secretary. Being horribly cynical, I was all prepared for some sort of "leave the poor blind man alone" article - but apart from a passing reference to him having "survived more than most people could endure", it isn't.

In fact, one of the biggest targets in the piece is the satirical drama A Very Social Secretary - which recently launched Channel 4's new digital station, More4 - and the way in which the show's writers continually poked fun at Blunkett's blindness:

"He can't tell who else is in the room! He hides in the ladies' toilet by mistake! Then there were the visual gags about being blind and working class. He chews on cocktail party canapes as a horse might crunch up carrots. Ho, ho. Finally, there was the line about how blind, working-class men are terrible lovers."

And, er, I'll stop the quote there, because it goes on to discuss one particular scene between Blunkett and his mistress Kimberly Quinn. But since we might have children reading, carry on with it in The Observer, OK?

This Tuesday evening at 9.45pm, ITV1 broadcasts a documentary entitled Frank Bruno: Gloves Off, in which the popular former boxer talks about his life and his experiences of mental health problems, which were reported all over the newspapers - sometimes using shockingly inappropriate language, as we discussed here on Ouch - a couple of years ago. Could be one worth tuning in for.

The Department of Health has just launched a consultation on the future of community health services - including those provided by GPs, dentists, pharmacists, podiatrists, speech and language therapists, district nurses, health visitors and all NHS services that are delivered outside of hospitals i.e all the people we like (to hate?)

The results of the consultation will be used for producing a new White Paper on 'care outside hospitals'. This White Paper is expected at the end of this year, and will also include proposals for how social services will work with local health services, building on the Social Services Green Paper earlier this year.

The consultation could lead to significant changes in the way that NHS and social care services are delivered.

The online questionnaire can be found on the DoH's website - click to go directly to the survey. But hurry, as the consultation closes on 4 November.

Crippled Monkey, as his regular readers will know, has a long and honourable tradition of reporting on news stories involving cute animals. And who is Lady Bracknell to buck that trend? I have to confess to having a tear in my eye after reading .

William Morgan, a double amputee, swam to his rooftop for safety when the Hurricane Katrina flood waters hit New Orleans. Then he realised his dog, Morgan LaFey, was drowning. So he jumped back in and swam to her rescue. William was rescued by the Coast Guard more than a day later, but Morgan LaFey had to be left behind.

But, fear not! William and Morgan LaFey have found each other again, thanks to some determined searching by Randi Bildner. Watch the video to see man and apricot poodle's emotional reunion . . . (sniff)

With all the switchovers from analogue TV to digital, it appears that disabled people are about the change. Following Tessa Jowell's last month, the timetable is set to happen between 2008 and 2012, but wanted a more in-depth look at how support should be given to the 4.4 million households who may need it. They said that the installation of complicated TV equipment, protection against "rogue traders" and the cost of concerns all need closer attention. An Ofcom spokeswoman was quoted as saying that it was all about practical support, and that they need more detail about how the switchover will happen.

As for me, I hope they sort it out, as it all seems very technical, and I'm worried about it! Are you?

From yesterday's Independent, one of those stories that comes along only once in a blue moon, where you can almost taste the irony: .

"Mr Blunkett wrote to Wandsworth council, in south London, about the impact a proposal to build new flats and houses could have on the local environment. The money raised from the development is to be used to pay for £4m worth of improvements to the nearby Linden Lodge School for the blind and partially sighted."

Um, except that the "local environment" is, well, Blunkett's second home in London.

Altogether now: oops.

Hi gang! Have you noticed how we've become obsessed with tests over the years? Between kids being tested every week at school, to the latest in medical testing that promises extra sensitivity and accuracy (which sounds like blurb nicked from Ann Summers!), this country has gone test mad. Good thing?

Well, after nosing on the net, I found this little nugget in the Sydney Morning Herald: . The article reports that results from various international studies have found that women are poorly educated about pre-natal testing; it looks at the ramifications of this, and how disabilities are portrayed in society.

After I read it, I thought: yes! The voice of reason! Recently, one of my friends went through the antenatal system. It's so pessimistic and paranoid that it would make Jeremiah look positively optimistic. The problem is that everyone thinks that these tests are the be all and end all - well, they're not. They are highly risky and not that accurate.

Both Adam Hills and Laurence Clark have touched on this in the past, and I agree with them. We need to stop being obsessed with so-called perfection and change the language to one of optimism. OK, take Christy Brown: Renaissance man and party animal, or Cerebral Palsy sufferer? Albert Einstein: the greatest mind of the 20th Century, or a dyslexic with Aspergers? Spike Milligan: comic genius, or manic-depressive? We remember the former, not the latter. It's because of their disabilities that they excelled in their chosen fields. What we lack in comparison, we have countless attributes that they will never possess. It's a half-full glass. We - and the world at large - must "always look on the bright side of life", as life is full of surprises.

Coming soon to London's National Film Theatre is the , between 30 November and 4 December. This 5-day event will showcase some of the disability-related films and televisual media around at the moment.

The festival kicks off on the 30th at 6.30pm with a screening of , described as: "a sparkling song and dance epic of sibling rivalry starring the incomparable Kuty, India's one-legged dance sensation.".

Over the following days, a wide variety of films will be shown, including about a wheelchair soccer team, , exploring issues of deafness in India, and - a 2-minute short which aims to give the "definitive answer to this burning question".

The event ends with the screening of US box office hit , about "the story of a group of world-class athletes and their journey from the gyms of middle America to the Athens Olympics.".

If you're going, maybe I'll see you there.

Now here is a which gladdens Lady Bracknell's generally stony heart: CanesCanada.com will be setting up a stand at the Calgary Women's Show. At last - somebody is treating walking sticks as a stylish accessory, not just a utilitarian mobility aid! The owners of the company are aware that the right stick can make a big difference to a sticky crip's self-confidence. They say: "Buy a cane with your style, with a bit of your personality in mind. Then people come up and say: 'WOW, what a nice cane! Whre did you get it?' It gives a very positive response."

I hadn't come across the site before, presumably because I've tended to use search terms - including the word "stick" - which, as I'm finally beginning to realise, appears to be a peculiarly British description for those long sticky things we lean on. Almost everyone else calls them canes, apparently. It's not a particularly straightforward site to navigate, but it's worth persisting. They stock a huge variety of sticks, many of which I've never seen before, including a collection of Norman Rockwell canes. They will ship internationally, but you'd need to email them for a shipping quote.

While we're on the subject, I can't resist mentioning my own . To date, I've bought two of the lucite canes, one in blue and one in green. And I'm definitely going to be supplementing my collection with a purple one and a red one. In my experience, they really do result in complete strangers coming up to you and paying you compliments on your beautiful stick. Which is a blimmin' sight more empowering than complete strangers sympathetically asking you what you've done to yourself, I can tell you.

Greetings from Liverpool, the most sports mad city in the world! (after those in Sydney).

During a quick jog on the information superhighway, I came across a couple of sporting nuggets on a site called .

I discovered there that the England Amputee football team came third in the World Cup in Rio - they did better than Becks, Rooney and Co. Maybe they could get some footy tips from our amputee side?

Also, the former Commonwealth middleweight boxing champion Michael Watson praised the improvement in sports/leisure facilities for disabled people. He also hoped that disabled people would follow his inspiration and show that we are equal to the able-bodied.

It got me thinking. Why don't we see many more of us mutants at the gym or participating in various sports at the grassroots level? In Liverpool and its environs, facilities and opportunities have improved. Over the last few years, the sports and leisure centres have become more inclusive and accessible to all. . In fact, have the biggest disability football programme in the country (come on you Toffees!!!). So what's going on? Where are we?

I know that Tanni Grey-Thompson has touched on this subject a couple of times, and I can see what she's getting at. For a section of young (and not so young) mutants, the problem isn't lack of opportunity, but motivation and to extent a bad dose of self-consciousness. Let's face it, going to the gym can be daunting for anyone - mutant or not. It's meant to be intimidating. I mean, unless you look luscious in Lycra, it's a known medical fact that you can literally die from embarrassment. But that shouldn't put us off.

Well, kind of.

If you're in receipt of DLA, or you've got a disabled person's railcard, or you're registered blind, you can apply for a .

For a one-off administrative fee of £5, you get a card which entitles you to a free cinema ticket for the person accompanying you. And it's valid for three years. It's even notched along one of the short edges to "aid recognition" if you're visually impaired. (So, no danger of handing over your credit card to the box office staff by mistake, then.)

Of course, this is actually intended to prevent you having to pay for two seats if you're not able to go to the cinema on your own. But there are loads of people who are eligible but can manage quite nicely on their own, thanks very much, and who can therefore split the cost of the single ticket with a mate and/or demand that said mate supplies them with vast quantities of popcorn, jelly snakes and over-priced fizzy drinks in recompense for the free ticket.

For my first blog entry, I thought I would show you some resources that anyone with a learning disability may find useful. MacIntyre Care is a charity which helps anyone with a learning disability to find either supported housing or schools. I was involved in a transition project some months ago, which set up some useful resources so that people with a learning disability could use their help with the transition from school to college and give some idea of things that are useful to learn about for life, such as finding a place of your own or leisure opportunities in your area.

The workbooks are available online and can be used by anyone with a learning disability, and there are even personal experiences from myself and others to help you with ideas.

Check out the website for details.

Enjoy using them and have fun!

Fed up filling in DLA forms? Tired of waiting for social services to get back to you? Things could be worse . . . Meet .

Frank lost the sight in one eye during a fighter pilot mission for the US Air Force in World War II. He's 86 now. And he has, at long last, been granted fifty years' worth of backdated disability payments.

In a mastery of understatement, Frank told the press: "Veterans have to be persistent. If you let them jack you around, you'll get nothing".

Just because you are disabled, doesn't mean that you couldn't be the next Bill Gates.

Are you 30 or under and consider yourself an enterprising person? Maybe you run a business, or are involved in making life better for others? Then you should apply for this year's Enterprising Young Brits, a part of Enterprise Week 2005, which runs between 14 and 20 November!

If you get to be a finalist, you get to spend a night in a posh hotel and meet Gordon Brown - but you must also do a short presentation in a 'Pop Idol' style! And if you become a winner, you'll be £1000 better off, and you get to pick up a trophy and get lots of publicity!

You may wonder how I know all this - and find out! (Simon is modestly hiding the fact that he was one of last year's winners, so it's now down to you to keep up that disabled representation, innit - Ed)

They're letting the disableds out onto the small screen this week, which is nice for them. Let's take a look at what's in store:

Éù Mad for Poetry (Five / Community Channel)
From the stable, this is a series of short films starting on World Mental Health Day - today. The films feature five people talking about how a poem connects with them and their experiences of mental distress.

Five: Mon 10 to Thu 13 October at 7.10pm, Fri 14 October at 7.25pm.
Community Channel: Tue 11 to Sat 15 October at 8.55pm.

Éù A Very Social Secretary (More4
The big talking point around tonight's launch of Channel 4 spin-off 'adult' channel More4. Technically not really a disability programme, nor is the central character played by a disabled actor, but it's Blunkett-related and hence political in more than one interpretation.

The promo on the More4 website says: "Stranger than fiction but rooted in fact, A Very Social Secretary is the portrayal of a political scandal that spun out of control and straight on to the front pages for press and public scrutiny. It contains hilarious observations of high government, party politics and media frenzy. Written by Alistair Beaton (Downwardly Mobile, Feelgood)."

Disability surveillance mode on, then.

More4: Tonight, 9.00pm.

Éù Beyond Boundaries
You'll see physically disabled people climbing volcanoes, travelling across jungles and riding horses in this unusual primetime reality offering starting on ´óÏó´«Ã½ TWO tomorrow night (and every Tuesday for 4 weeks).

The people in this show are fabulous, their arguments very watchable, and Charlie brilliantly camps it up and will undoubtedly be the next Deaf Idol. At the end of it all though, you may find yourself sitting back and thinking: "Remind me again why they're doing this?"

Don't forget our Beyond Boundaries mini-site, too.

The next time you call or visit a hotel, restaurant or pub and get told that they can't serve or accommodate you, or even worse get turned away - and yes, we know it still happens even in these post-DDA days - tell them that they're losing £5 billion quid. That's right. Five. Billion. Quid.

Turns out that this is the they could be losing out on because they are still faiiling disabled customers. According to new research, your top complaints are accessibility and parking. There are some more interesting figures and findings in that article, although Crippled Monkey can't help but wonder what these businesses are thinking of - I mean, I've got five billion in cash burning a hole in my pocket (I've got very big pockets) and I can't spend it in your establishment, matey; but I know a pub down the road where I can get in no problem. It's not rocket science, is it?

The next time you call or arrive at a hotel