大象传媒

Disabled People are, I believe, all in the same boat, and I for one would never push anyone out. I believe that on principal, but lurking underneath most of my principals is a grubby little personal opinion waiting to get out. You see, there is sometimes a hierarchy on this boat. Kinda like Titantic, some disabled people are Irish dancing and spitting and doomed to drown, while up top the rest are eating kaviar and whatever Kate Winslet was doing...I hate Titantic.

Anyway, let's get one thing straight: impairment comparison is bad, whether you or I do it, we should hang our heads in shame. Thing is, if you understand levels of 'disability' in terms of medical symptoms, then comparison is the inevitable result. "I am worse than him but better off than her" etc etc.

Channel 4's The Shooting Party started two weeks ago and already the contestants (nine disabled - yes, all of them - filmmakers) are being measured for levels of medical tragedy. Maddie, who has depression, and Matt, who has a stammer, came out poorly, it seems. They are not 'proper disabilities', apparently.

See this is what happens when you see 'being disabled' as medical conditions scattered like button badges on a schoolkid's rucksack, counting and collecting. The Shooting Party's wheelchair users escaped the analysis, of course. It is enough that we can see it, it is helpfully obvious, never mind the actual disabling affect on people's lives.

Dyslexics are laptop-grabbers, depressives are moaners, people with acquired paraplegia probably bullied us at school anyway why-should-we-care-now? I could go on, but frankly I fear for my life: comparison, particularly when laced with prejudice, is a dark, dirty game.

Inter-impairment rage: dyslexics' got the spastics in a headlock, the CFS crew smothering the autistic spectrum in their duvets, it's a darkly entertaining picture in my head. It's just not very useful; this whole comparative thought process is, in the end, useless to disabled people. However, comparison, division and prejudice needs to be acknowledged by disabled people *without* discounting what we have in common. Prejudice from the outside, from non-disabled people, is called into question every day, prejudice between ourselves is highlighted far less. I think that might need to change.

**Yay for The Shooting Party dudes and The New Pornographers**

When I write about dancing, I often say things like, "well, you don't have to join a troupe, you can just shake your booty at a club." Shamefacedly, however, I have to say that I have never done that. I've been to clubs, yes. I have hung out at bars, yes. BUT up until last week, I have to say that I haven't actually done it.聽 I was a wheelchair clubbing virgin.聽

Friday night, on tour.聽 The hotel we were staying at was apparently a local "dancing destination."聽 Seedy, sleazy, yeeeow.聽 We were coming off a performance high and needed a way to come down.聽 I ran to my room and pulled on a top, wriggled my way in to some leggings, reduced the stage makeup for regular makeup, pouted into the mirror, located my ID:聽 good to go.聽

The West Coasters commandeered a table; we got some drinks.聽 And people stared.聽 Some 80's music began, and a friend and I bounced onto the floor.聽 People froze.聽 We played our part, of course; we bumped, slid, did the grind over body and chair, air-kissed, and generally danced as wildly as possible.聽 The seconds of stillness eased into cautious movement; they would dance and then check over their shoulder to see if we were still happening.聽 We were.

And then it began.聽 People came over and started wanting to dance with me.聽 These were kind of creepy pity dances, but, at first, I thought they would be fun to do -- freak people out a bit.聽 No such luck.聽 I danced wildly, sexily, skillfully, angrily.聽 I danced all styles, free styles, no styles.聽 No one noticed.聽 I was going to charm, wow, dance, bludgeon these people into seeing me as a dancer and not as a brave, spirited girl.聽 Instead, the evening got creepier: people wanted to touch.

My colleagues, ever the cynics, started a catalogue in case I wanted to charge for some combination of a simple dance, a dance with blessing or statement of amazement, a dance with a hug or a pat on the back, some combination of two or more of the former.

I had dug myself a very deep hole with no escape route.聽 Dancing with them was not enough to stop the petting urge.聽 Removing their arms from around me was apparently offensive to them.聽 I danced myself into an angry frenzy and then, my rage dissipated; I was too exhausted to find it fun any more.聽 One more sip at my drink, and I slunk off to wash their horrible bodies off mine and go to bed.

But not before the bouncer congratulated me on my wonderful attitude.

I should have known better.聽 No.聽 I did know better, but I thought I could outsmart them -- change the dynamic a little.

gah.聽 just.聽 gah.

Visit the of the Wheelchair Dancer

Thursday 1 May is the date. Your blog is the place. Yes, (informally known as BADD) is back for the third year running, and disabled and non-disabled bloggers throughout the world will be posting entries on the subject of Disablism, Ableism or Disability Discrimination. There's no restriction, however, to what you can then post - it's whatever style and whatever topic you want.

As ever, the blogger behind this increasingly popular event is (also an Ouch guest blogger), and you can find out all the details you need to know on her blog, Diary of a Goldfish.

BADD was hugely successful last year, with 170 entries counted the day after (and several more added later). Let's hope that this year's event will be even bigger. So take part if you've got a blog - and if you haven't, this could be a good time to start one.

From this autumn, Incapacity Benefit is being renamed , and as part of the overhaul all new claimants must complete an assessment considering their capability to work. It's a move that has proved very controversial with many disabled people, not least on Ouch's own messageboard.

Esteemed guest blogger sent me a link to the guidance and advice site, where you can try out a free that is going to be used to establish entitlement to ESA. Obviously, it won't be entirely like the real thing, since as the guidance says: "how you assess yourself and how the DWP might assess you in the future could be very different". Still, a useful insight into these forthcoming changes.

Last night, Ouch's blog - along with every blog on the 大象传媒's Blog Network - received an upgrade, and we're now being powered by some shiny new software. This means that this place will hopefully run faster and much more smoothly, and you won't feel the need to pop off and make a cup of tea when trying to post a comment. Hurrah.

However, as part of the upgrade, you will now need to register to post comments here. It's a once-only process though, and really very quick - plus, once you're done you can comment on any 大象传媒 blog, from Radio 1 DJs to sports editors to, well, us here on Ouch! Also, if you're already a member of the messageboard community here on Ouch or on any other 大象传媒 sites, blog commenting uses the same login and password details. Simply sign in and you can contribute right away.

One final note: because of the changeover in the software, old posts on this blog are unfortunately no longer open to commenting.

If you experience any problems with the new system, drop us a line here at ouch@bbc.co.uk and we'll look into it.

Not to start things off on too much of a downer, but I think it鈥檚 fair to say that I鈥檝e missed out on quite a bit of what life has to offer thanks to this blinkin鈥� M.E. Listing them all is not going to do any of us any good but suffice to say, I think that I have certain deficiencies in my experience of the world. Most of them don鈥檛 matter a jot; the fact that I鈥檓 unable to go out clubbing or partying until the early hours certainly doesn鈥檛 worry me unduly. But every so often I鈥檓 reminded that I鈥檝e missed something and in my case it鈥檚 often something education related. I鈥檝e been pondering on this recently because I鈥檓 considering getting back to some studying and doing an Open University course. I鈥檓 still mulling it over but I鈥檓 rather tempted by the idea of a short science course. I became ill at the age of 13 and had to drop out of school. I gained English and Maths GCSE via home tuition and eventually an A-level in Economics thanks to some part-time 6th form attendance and helpful teachers. However, science eludes me. With my not having formally studied anything science related for 10 years it can鈥檛 be too difficult for you to imagine the rather gaping hole in my general knowledge. Allow me to illustrate by relating quite possibly the most ridiculous thing that I have ever done in my entire 23 years. And that鈥檚 saying something.

It was in the gallant pursuit of scientific understanding that I made my blunder. As many a teenage girl will substantiate, we nearly all go through a 鈥榗andle phase鈥�. We get them for birthdays and Christmas. We have them in the bathroom and the bedroom. We burn glittery ones and scented ones. If it鈥檚 not a candle then it鈥檚 an oil burner. It may not be full on pyromania but it鈥檚 not far off. At the age of 16 I was one such girl. But crucially, a candle obsessed girl with exactly the wrong amount of scientific knowledge 鈥� not as much as I should have had, but enough to make me think that I understood what it was that extinguished a flame. I would like to point out here that my theory was sound; it was my execution and choice of weapon that was flawed.

One evening I found myself about to blow out a candle (one of the sort that are inside a glass) when a thought occurred to me: 鈥淔ire needs oxygen to stay alight鈥� oxygen is in the air鈥� if I cut off the air from the candle then it will extinguish the flame鈥� well that sounds more exciting than just blowing it out.鈥� See? Perfectly scientific. So what did I choose to cut off the air from the flame? A tissue. Yes. In all seriousness, I used a tissue. Well, I probably don鈥檛 need to tell you what happened next. Suddenly I鈥檓 holding a flaming tissue and screaming just a little bit. Thankfully I was fortunate enough to have an eagle-eared mother with a slipper to hand. Soon enough the only signs of the incident were my embarrassed face and a burn on the carpet (now cunningly hidden by a rug).

I鈥檝e pretty much avoided scientific thinking since then and in doing so thankfully prevented any more such happenings (I won鈥檛 tell you about my 鈥榳ater in the Sea of Tranquillity鈥� gaffe 鈥� this despite the fact that I knew that it was on the moon!). But you know what? I鈥檓 an adult now and I should know about this sort of stuff. Perhaps it鈥檚 time for me to get scientific again. Watch out world!

鈥� Visit

Looking for an entirely new impairment? Bored with the one you've got? No problem! Get yourself over to , and in a couple of clicks you could get yourself a different disability!

Okay, I'm exaggerating. Just a bit. But Ouch reader Mike Boyd drew our attention to an odd little foible in the behaviour of the social networking site, when he left a comment on Disability Bitch's latest ill-tempered rant. Bitchy, like just about everyone these days, has a Facebook page, but the software's requirements for people to have proper first and last names mean that it informally addresses the fearsome one as 'Disability'. So if you're not a member or not logged in to the service when you click on her Facebook link from Ouch, you receive the following message:

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you can pick up a new disability through social networking.

The Russian capital, Moscow, is a place I've long wanted to visit - but not one, I confess, where I had any idea what the disability access would be like. According to an article in the , which follows wheelchair user Sergei Prushinsky around the city, Moscow is a bit of a nightmare:

For the city's disabled population, however, Moscow is an anachronistic labyrinth of ramp-less curbs and buildings, a capital with a subway system that is next-to-impossible for people in wheelchairs to use.

Disability rights advocates apparently say that disabled people still face a great deal of stigma - a legacy of the way they were treated during the long years of Soviet rule, when they were shut out of society. Things are now changing - but slowly. Buses are being made disability-friendly, and offices and apartment blocks are getting ramps at their entrances - although they obviously still have a thing or two to learn about that, since many of the ramps end up being either too steep or too slippery for wheelchair users to actually navigate.

A few years back, Ouch's Penny Batchelor took a holiday on the Trans-Mongolian Express railway, which started in Moscow. As she said at the time:

In Moscow, their idea of subway access is a couple of breathtakingly steep metal tracks down the stone steps.

Which, I suppose, makes even the notoriously inaccessible London Underground network look a positive breeze in comparison. Well, almost.

If you've gone to Moscow - or indeed elsewhere in Russia - as a disabled traveller, I'd be interested to hear your access experiences in the comments.

Three times a week here on Ouch, we update our news page with all sort of disability-related headlines. Over many years of doing this, I've become just a little bit obsessed by all those 'Doing X or Y improves mental health' stories that occur as a result of some latest piece of scientific research. And it seems that a new one comes along every couple of weeks, more or less.

Today's entrant into this hall of fame is - and to reinforce the point, our colleagues at 大象传媒 News accompany the story with a photo of a woman down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor. Nice.

Read more closely, though, and it turns out that the report by the British Journal of Sports Medicine is in fact talking about "20 minutes of sustained exercise a week - from cleaning to jogging", and that many of those more vigorous and strenuous household chores are a good example of that. Sadly, this isn't about floating airily about the place with a feather duster (which is all I like to do, if I'm honest).

Then again, I can personally vouch for the change in my mood that some satisfying house-cleaning can bring about. In my experience, it can make me feel better to see shining floors and dust-free surfaces, clean cupboards and a buffed-up three-piece suite. I'm no domestic god(dess), however, since it normally takes me a few weeks for my place to get into such a dreadful state before I decide to attack it in a single-minded mission to clean up.

So - cleaning? Improved mental health? Will you be breaking out the floor cleaner and a mop this coming weekend?

Ouch's twenty-sixth Podcast is now live on the 大象传媒's podcast directory for your downloading and listening pleasure.

One of the subjects briefly touched upon is this month's show is that old Ouch blog favourite - disabled animals. In particular, a disabled wolf called Alba, who broke her neck three years ago in an accident. Here's a photo:

Turns out that Podcast host Mat Fraser has adopted Alba via a scheme operated by the , and if wolves are your thing then you can do the same via the Trust's page - though we can't promise that there are any more disabled wolves to sponsor at the moment. The Trust have also recently extended their popular (where you, um, go for a walk with wolves) to be accessible. Should be a right howl, shouldn't it? (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Well actually I haven鈥檛 unfortunately; it has been all over the news on the last few days that a nation wide free travel scheme has been launched for the elderly and people with disabilities.

On hearing the news about this a few months ago I was seriously excited, I will never be able to drive (legally) due to slight blindness issues, I caught myself day dreaming about all the places I could go to and be able to get on the bus without it costing me money. I鈥檓 quite well travelled for a blindy, Three or four times a year at least I go up to London ether socially or through the work I do with , free bus travel when I reach my destination appeals. At the end of the day I鈥檓 a student anything free is good!
BUT it would appear there is a slight catch, well actually a series of small flaws in this remarkably good plan.

First off and possibly most crucially my new nation wide bus pass has not arrived, my old pass expired on the 31st of march ready and waiting for the new system to take over on the 1st of April but it cant because my new shiny bus pass has not arrived. After multiple phone calls with the local council, I have been reassured that my new pass is on its way and in the meantime my old pass is still valid for travel.

I鈥檓 also rather concerned about other murmurings I have heard stating that the new pass will only be valid after 9:30am. I no this is defiantly the case for elderly users but I am not sure if it applies to those with disabilities, I have also heard that my local council is taking a different stance to that of the rest of the UK on this issue. So really I have to wait for my bus pass to arrive before I will find out. The fact of the matter is that I have to get the 8:30am bus to get to college for 9am; if I have to pay for the privilege I shall not be impressed. I am aware that there are various other schemes available to get people with disabilities to there educational establishment of choice or workplace but the point is that my bus pass gives me independence and freedom which other schemes simply don鈥檛.

I don鈥檛 know whether the local situation represents an accurate image of the rest of the country but Gosport where I am blogging from still has quite a few highly inaccessible busses. There are busses here that before you can get to the driver to wave your bus pass at him or her you have to clime a small flight of 3 or 4 steps. It is indeed a mountain of a bus and one I have fallen up before (yes that was a highly embarrassing incident in front of 100+ people). Furthermore if you are lucky enough to find an accessible bus the chances are that the priority seats are full of chavs and there are buggy鈥檚 parked in the wheelchair spaces.

The buggy thing is something that really annoys me, I understand the needs of people with children when trying to use public transport, but put simply a buggy can be folded and put in the rack a guide dog or wheelchair user cant. Sitting in a wheelchair space with a guide dog particularly is far safer for everyone involved, the dog is less likely to have a shopping trolley dropped on its head, (this has happened to my mums guide dog Ian) other passengers are less likely to trip over the dog, and in the event of sudden breaking the dog does not fly down the aisle of the bus. Yet when sitting in a space originally designed for wheelchair users and other people with disabilities, guide dog owners get funny looks or even sometimes asked to move by people who could with a little effort perhaps simply fold up there buggy.

So at the end of the day I鈥檓 not entirely convinced the national bus pass scheme is a 100% success it should give me greater freedom to travel, but people with disabilities will still be restricted by inaccessible vehicles and the bus timetable.

鈥� Visit

Thanks to the ease of use and simplicity of video-sharing sites like , video-blogging is becoming increasingly popular. Just boot up your computer and plug in a webcam - available at most high street electronic shops these days, at bargain prices - fire it up, and you're away. Like blogging, you can tell the world about your life, your thoughts, your experiences - but this time in moving pictures and speech rather than just plain old text.

Having featured guest writers from the disability blogosphere for some time on Ouch, we're now experimenting with video-blogging. Or 'vlogging', as all the cool kids are calling it. Our first two video-bloggers are Lorraine Hershon and Jemma Brown (who will already be familiar to Ouch readers as a regular guest blogger here).

Here's Lorraine's first video, in which she introduces herself:

And here's the latest video from Jemma, added just yesterday - though it wasn't an April Fool's joke, honest - in which she reveals some exciting education news!

You can keep up with Lorraine's and Jemma's vids by bookmarking their YouTube pages. They go by the names of and . But you'll be able to catch their latest video updates right here on Ouch's blog.

That's not all, though. If you've watched these videos and thought that you could do this too, drop us a line. We want to recruit some more vloggers whose regular updates about all aspects of life as a disabled person we'll feature here. You don't even have to have your own webcam - as we have a limited number that we're ready and willing to send out to the right people. So just email us at ouch@bbc.co.uk, telling us a bit about yourself, your interests, some of the things you'd like to talk about on Ouch, and why you think you would make a good video-blogger for us. And if you're already posting your own video blog entries to YouTube, get in touch with a link to your page.

鈥� For more videos, this time specially produced for Ouch, check out these clips featuring Luke and Becca. It comes with further tips on how to get signed up to YouTube - or one of the many other video-sharing services out there on the net - and start uploading your own videos.