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Logging on to a computer or opening the mail has never been so nerve-wracking. More than half a million Year 6 children and their families all around the country, found out this week if they had been offered a place in their first choice of secondary school.Ìý

I have been through it four times and although you know what to expect, it doesn’t get any easier. It’s the build-up in the school playground, from the end of Year 5 onwards that is often hard to handle. Much as you try to avoid the mention of secondary schools, all too frequently it seems to creep into conversations.

It’s a long process, deciding on a school. The hurdles include visiting the schools, deciding which order to put them on the application form and then possibly, entrance exams to prepare for, if you opt for a selective school in the bunch. Trying to cajole or bribe your son or daughter into doing one more verbal and non-verbal practice paper, before they can go off and play seems like climbing Everest at times.

is vital, if you want to avoid conflict later. With my eldest son, we were keen for him to try for one of the local grammar schools. He missed the place by a couple of marks, having not handed in his workings out with his answer sheet. As far as he was concerned this was a cause for celebration, as he ended up at a very good comprehensive which he had preferred all along. It turned out to be the right place for him even if we had been uncertain about it to start with.

Keep in mind that you are initially only committing to five years at the school as some students opt to move for 6th Form anyway, for a variety of reasons.

This year, according to a in 12 local authorities, 15.8% of children were not offered a place at their first choice of school this year, down 1% on last year. Parents are playing it safe by putting the most popular school at the top of the list, even if the likelihood of their child getting in is very slim.Ìý

If you feel you stand a chance, you can always appeal. Work out what grounds you are appealing on, check with your local authority what the deadline is for appealing and what the procedure involves. You can find out more about the process from theÌý´óÏó´«Ã½ Parents site. Be prepared for things to go either way and try to manage your child’s and your own expectations - easier said than done.

Also, if your child has not got in to their first choice school, you can ask to be put on their waiting list. From our first visit in Year 5, my daughter had set her heart on this a selective school but did not quite make the grade in Year 6.

She decided she wanted to stay on the waiting list and took up the place at her third choice of school. She was making reasonable progress there, but not being fully challenged. ÌýHalf way through Year 8 a place came up in her first choice school as someone had moved away. The downside was she had to sit exams in English, Science and Maths at no notice. We felt we owed it to her to give her a second chance. To our surprise she got the place and has not looked back.

If your child has not been offered their first choice of school, remember there is always room for some slippage between now and September. Perhaps someone might move unexpectedly or suddenly get offered their first choice and this has a domino effect.

Whichever school your child goes to this autumn, help them to stay positive about it and point out the new and exciting challenges it has to offer.

Fiona Holmer works on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ Parents Blog.

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