Screaming.
On the programme tonight we're doing an interview inspired by this Press Association copy:
"An ambulance trust is warning people about a horror film which contains torture scenes so gruesome they have made cinema-goers pass out. The East Anglian Ambulance Trust said it had received a number of emergency
calls to treat people watching the new horror film Saw III. Five required ambulance assistance and one had to be taken to hospital after fainting with fright following screenings in Stevenage, Peterborough and Cambridge on Friday."
It's all true apparently. Our guest will tell us that people have run screaming from the cinema during the film. When was the last time you did that? I nearly did during Woody Allen's Match Point, but that doesn't count.
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Maybe us in East Anglia are just more sensitive than most??
Film reviews too? Is there no end to your talents, Eddie?
Never quite run out of a cinema but have watched a few Boro matches through my fingers.
Unfortunately last night wasn't one of them so I saw it all - now that's Horror!
Assuming this passed the BBFC classification is it that East Anglians are of a "sensitive nature" ? :-)
I have no intention of seeing SAW III as I've not seen Saw I or II yet
We live there and nothing suprises us about Stevenage.
The one that really got me was Taxi Driver, and before that Soldier Blue.
Since I saw those, I've resolutely avoided anything with gore, blood, gratuitous violence, etc.
My disposition is clearly very weak.
Re Woody Allen - I do understand.
no beginning
Southern jessies!!
Whoops, I don't know what happened just then. I looked up and saw it had posted already, even though I hadn't finished typing...
What I meant to say was "You have me rolling on the floor laughing, but also in agony with the pulled muscle in my back. At least the laughter has brightened the day..."
I expect the Eddie Mair film and DVD review book out in time for Christmas:)
So Stewart hasn't seen Saw 1 or seen Saw 2 and so won't see Saw III. So sad!
I saw The Maddness of George III without seeing the first two.
OnThe (3) - Like you, I don't deliberately watch anything I think is going to make me feel ill.
'Off' buttons are, of course, available . . . . (BTW that last dot is a full stop, ValP.)
Praps - like smokers and obsese people and others deemed to have condemned themselves to ill-health - cinema-goers who react badly to what they see shd be denied treatment? Or at least lectured sternly. Or made to pay for it.
Oh dear. Memo to self: filing makes you bad tempered and Likely To Have Opinions.
xx
LadyP
PS FFred: Happy Birthday for the other day.
Laughing here at (3), (4), (5) and (9) - at least, that's what they're numbered as I'm writing. And as for (7) - which (currently anyway) has Eddie Mair writing 'no beginning' - I am just bemused.
Maybe PM shd be prefaced with an advisory notice. Along the lines of 'Contains moderate scepticism, the odd innuendo and an occasional good joke . . .'? Prizes for the best one, Lord Muir????????
ODE TO EDDIE
Says Fearless Fred: Our Ed
Has no end to his bed
Of talent.
To which our Ed replies:
Tis lies
To me the end
Is the beginning.
Or no beginning.
Lies she cries
For Fred is right
And Ed is wrong.
End of song.
I just listen to the Archers. That's scary enough for me.
Okay, that's strange. I thought I'd been "ghost-posted" half-way through my (9). But now the ghost post hasn't appeared, but my second attempt has... Still, I think you can get my drift :)
I saw Star Wars episode IV many years before episode I...
RobbieDo (10)
By I walked into that one didn't I!!! At least with Madness of K george I did not go and look for the DVD's of the first two films!!
LadyP (12) I think Eddie (7) is replying to my (3) with a little self-depreciation...
btw, thanks for the wishes:) You were missed on the beach that day
I simply don't understand why people want to go and watch something really really nasty. It's like people who gorp at bad road accidents. When I drive past a road accident I always look the other way - although I suppose it would be safer if I were to look at where I'm going.
RobbieDo (10) - that's because the first two weren't mad. "The Linguistic Abilities of George I" is worth seeing, except it's all in German.
Btw Lady P (11) - Don't you think bad-tempered people should have to pay to have their high blood pressure treated?
Lady P
"contains moderate scepticism" - that's a brilliant strapline for PM
PM: Our double entendres broadcast nationally.
Maybe we should get Humph in to write some of the script...
BTW Fifi (yet to frog here), thanks for dropping by, and you never know...
O FFred (17) - of course he was. Silly me.
Next thing we know they'll be writing a mission statement for the prog - or the blog!
Nice idea though.
Hi there John W (20)
... the offer's serious. The more of my garden gets covered up with sheds and greenhouses, the less grass and thistles I have to cut, and the more homes there are for hedgehogs. ;o)
I know a very rude song about the hedgehog by the way. Nineteen eyewatering verses, and the most-requested song I do.
Email me via the website and I'll happily send anyone the words!
Sara (currently 18, tho this is changing all the time) - I have v low blood pressure normally. It's only filing - or at least the preface to it (ie sorting out the unopened envelopes, then paper all over the desk mixed in with the kids' CDs + empty C*ca C*la cans and H*laHo*ps packets) - that makes me cross.
RobbieDo (19) - I am curtseying in response to your appreciation. That makes the filing even MORE tricky. Especially as it's just gone all dark here.
Perhaps am just about to be submerged by a tsunami? I know I shouldn't joke about such things but, when small daughter came back from half-term visit to her father and grandfather, she asked 'Mum - was there REALLY a tornado in the Wash?, thinking extreme weather, global warming etc. It turns out that said grandfather had seen a newspaper headline saying 'Tornado in Wash', the story being that an RAF plane's pilot had got into difficulties during an exercise and bailed out . . .
Sara (18) You should look at the road and other traffic and not the other way else you could cause another accident!!! ;-)
Aaron Russo [Libertarian Candidate for US President] has a new film out called 'AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM".
Aaron Russo is also the film maker whose films: "Trading Places" and "The Rose" have won numerous awards.
In this work, Aaron Russo wanted to explore the erosion of civil liberties in America. In his interview with numerous former government employees, he is able to connect the Federal Income Tax, Voter Fraud, National Identity Cards, and Radio Frequency Identifications with a loss of liberty in America.
For those who are interested in a movie based on TRUE REALITY, I RECOMMEND THIS FILM WITH 5/5.
Ah Fearless (17) thanks for clearing that up, I was beginning to think he was losing the plot?
I don't do scary films - at all - full stop. What's the point? :o)
DeepT to Fifi, that's very enigmatic? You trying to start something?
20: Deepthought wrote: PM: Our double entendres broadcast nationally.
Maybe we should get Humph in to write some of the script...
The program would have to be renamed - I'm Sorry I Haven't A ????
newletter?
headline?
sense of humour?
BOO!
Sorry Valery, I couldn't resist it.
Dr H
A bit delayed but - No legs have a milliband!
Mission Statement:
My mission statement says that it is my intention to get through life without a mission statement.
(22)
SB25
...Mmm, this sounds like unsubstantiated rumour-mongering started, possibly, to create interest in the film.
Here's a useful reminder the next time we either hear or are about to repeat a rumour..!
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom.
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued "Before you talk to me about my student, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say...
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I鈥檝e only just heard about it and ..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.
Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary ...."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him and, you're not certain it's true...
Anyway, you may still pass the test because there's one filter left: the filter of physical safety.
Is what you want to tell me about my student going to save me from physical harm?"
"No... no, I guess not really."
"Well..." concluded Socrates, "...if what you want to tell me is not necessarily true, not good, nor even useful for my personal safety, why tell it to me at all?"
A Point well made. Mind you, it also explains why Socrates never found out that his student, Plato, was b****ng his wife...
Valery (24), don't you start... I had enough trouble on Day One. Fifi simply dropped by my blog, left a comment, and I was giving a reply to it.
I fainted during Born on the Fourth of July when Tom Cruise snapped his leg. And I'm a hearty Northern lass.
Val (27 now)
...although there was a certain implication of 'come on over to my place' about it.
All perfectly above board of course, as befits mature froggers who wouldn't know a double-ententre if it bit them.
Talking of which: did you hear the one about the blonde who walked into a bar.
Bartender asked: 'What can I get you?'
She replied: 'I'll have a double-entendre please.'
So he gave her one.
..... now, what's funny about that???
I have not been to the cinema for years. I prefer to watch a film in comfort with a glass of something chilled and alcoholic and without all the fidgeting, questionable personal hygiene, coughing, open-mouthed chewing and fizzy pop slurping that goes with the cinema.
Mrs Trellis! Mrs Trellis! yoo-hoo!
Remembering our first serious conversation on the frog a week or so ago, you may be interested to know it sounds as if restorative justice is about to be discussed on Law In Action.
As I type this, it's just gone 4pm. So if you're quick, you'll catch it.
I'll look for you on the beach as well, just to be sure...
Fif (35) LOL
...Fifi (35), Wonderful..! I think. Frankly though, i didn't understand it. Any more than I understand this...
A Mother Superior and three Nuns die one night and are received simultaneously at the gate to heaven by St Peter who explains, that to enter heaven, each of them must correctly answer a question that he will ask.
Turning to one of the Nuns, he says 鈥淣ame the first woman鈥
鈥淓ve鈥 came the reply
鈥淵ou may enter鈥 said St Peter
Turning to the other Nun he asked 鈥淲here did Eve live?鈥
鈥淭he Garden of Eden鈥 came the reply
鈥淵ou may enter鈥 said St Peter
Turning to the Mother Superior, St peter said 鈥淣ow, I hope you will understand that because of your seniority, I shall have to ask you a slightly more difficult question.
So, what did Eve say when she first saw Adam?鈥
鈥淢y, my, that is a hard one...鈥
Dr. H
Actually, I'm with you on the mission statement mission.
Tongue v. firmly in cheek. But I'll bet the Beeb have got one tucked away somewhere.
Eddie's mission is to make us chuckle.
Lissa's is to get the straps out.
I'm sure I can't see any double entendres in your last frog, Fifi!! :p
btw, the hedgehog song wouldn't happen tp be inspired by a certain Nanny Ogg, would it?
Bambi - can anyone beat the horror of taking a three year old to that?
Mrs Trellis, I'm with you. I'd sooner fall asleep in front of a film in the comfort of my own home, rather than pay extortionate sums to fall asleep in the cinema surrounded by other patrons talking on their mobiles while eating rubbish. Don't find many films interesting enough to sit through these days. But maybe that's just me...
Fifi, 35, LOL!
Piper, 32, heard that before but it's a reet good 'un!
Mark Intime, 29, EEEEEEEEEKK! Thanks I needed that. Do you want an apple or a 6d?
Lady P - I have exactly the same filing problems, the filing itself is fine, it's the pre-filing fiddling preamble that puts me off. I use the floor, which is fine if you don't get interrupted by the dog wanting to help!!
"PM - not so much a programme, more a way of life" (Strapline Suggestion, in case you keep missing them Lissa!)
I think the child catcher in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang film is very scary. He reminds me of Peter Mandleson.
I go into shock when I hear what my eldest nephew gets for his Christmas bonus. He's something in the City.
Piper and Fifi - you make my day! LoL
Valery Pedant (44) ...you've HEARD IT BEFORE..?!
Is nothing in this world sacred?
I go to immense trouble stealing these things which then, clearly, become subject to further petty plagiarism... They're MY copyright! i.e. I've given myself the right to copy...a bit like approving my own blog on this site...
No wonder the music industry's so upset and starting litigation...
I fainted when I first watched my husband use his power tool!
Mary
Fearless (41)
Got it in one!
I just set it to an old tune, turned verse 1 into a chorus, and can now get entire pubs full of slightly embarrassed people happily singing about all the horrible things you can do to every other kind of animal....
"But the hedgehog can never be ------ed at all."
Glorious. Well spotted, FF dearest. x
Just got back from listening to GOD.
Eddie, obviously you're not Jennifer's biggest fan.
Don't stress Piper, I'll see if I can root out something YOU haven't heard before shall I??
I'm with Aunt Dahlia (42) (no not age, frog number here). Bambi was the first film I was taken to, age 7, and I had to be removed from the cinema in hysterics.
These days I'm frightened of *all* films in cinemas because they seem to turn the sound up so high that I think it may burst my eardrums, or at least damage my hearing beyond repair. If I did scream, I don't suppose anyone would know, though.
And that's why I'd rather watch films somewhere with a volume control button near my hand.
Dear Fish
Do you think we could start a class action against the Disnae Corp? I still need an adult to go through the sunday supplements and remove articles about starving donkeys and whaling.....
Dear Fish, could we start a class action against the Disnae Corp? I still need the nearest grown up to fillet the sunday supplements for references to starving donkeys and orphaned hedgehogs.
And I'm completely with you on noise level - although I think it has to be that loud to drown out the sound of people eating with their mouths open, and mobile phoning.
I'm with Mrs T - can we have an open air cinema off beach. Local Hero?
hmmmm,
running out/i> of a cinema to escape the horror in Stevenage is just perverse.
That or it is truly the most frightening film on earth.
I didn't see saw so I don't know - I'm a bit up and down when it comes to horror....
in fact the only film i had to be removed from was when i was a kid at home and "Monster Express" (or something) was on. A Hammer film where Christopher Lee finds a caveman in ice, transports him in a crate on a train... and people mysteriously die... eeeeeiiiii!!
I had to walk out into the dining room and couldn't face a door half ajar for years. (in fact I'm just going to shut that cupboard,,,)
I freaked out at Quatermass when it was on TV in the 50's/early 60's, probably was too young to have been watching it anyway, so it serves me right!
Mary (49),
Oo-er! :-)
Chris (53), I have been known to wear earplugs in the cinema - takes everything down to Just The Right Level.
If you're going to watch horror, suit yourself. Surely it does what it says on the tin - horrifes you.
I'm far more scared of badly made films. For instance, I passed out watching "Alexander".
Suspecting the worst when I went to see "The Da Vinci Code", I brought along with me a garden shovel. I hit myself over the head with it every so often, thus levelling out the pain inflicted on me by the movie.
Wolf
Does anyone remember the days when one of the channels (can't remember which) used to show old horror movies in the afternoons on Sundays? (well, it may have been Saturdays, but I rather think that was when the wrestling and other sport was on, so I'll stick to Sunday)
ANYWAY - Some bits of films stuck in my mind from that time. There was one where people were bumped off and turned into statues (via a vat of concrete, or similar - and no I don't think it was wax), and another where a disjointed hand kept doing nasty deeds. I remember it crawling across the bonnet of a car and coming into view of the driver (who was probably the baddie). Things like that really freaked me out, yet there were no images of actual violence taking place.
Remembering those films also reminds me of the old Pan books devoted to horror stories. Some of those were really frightening, I thought. There was one graphic description of somebody being hung drawn and quartered (apparently based upon an historical account).
Funnily enough, while I obviously got some perverse enjoyment from getting frightened/ repulsed by these things, I cannot imagine ever wanting to sit through graphic portrayals such as those in modern horror films.
Big Sis, yes I know exactly what you mean. That "Hand" thing has stuck with me too. I also have a really nasty feeling about ventriloquist's dummies because of a film where there was one of those shut in a suitcase and it carried on talking after its stooge (or whatever they are called) had died. Or something like that. Damn, I'll probably dream about either of those again tonight....
It's the ordinary things being slightly extraordinary which put the wind up me.
Hi VP - I remember the dummy too. That was horribly creepy because his personality was so ................................
It was a sort of warped Dorian Gray as I remember (OOh, that was scary too, wish I hadn't thought of it ...)
Perhaps the Beeb need to do reruns of those classics? Some of them were well pre Hammer from what I remember. The grainy black and white was v. atmospheric.
Should we campaign for this?