´óÏó´«Ã½

The latter was a Thatcher favourite because of his hair-raisingly Right-wing views and, doubtless, his noisily expressed adoration of her.

He liked to wear flamboyant baronial tartan, always carried a miniature (but fully operational) pistol attached to his belt by a chain, showed off about his fondness for snuff and drank like a fish.

I was a newcomer on Any Questions? and, dry-mouthed with fear, had just launched in to the answer to some baffling question about, possibly, Scottish rural landowners' rights, when suddenly I felt a hand forcefully and determinedly groping my crotch.

A curtain attached to the table hid this occurrence from public view. The only person to whom the hand could belong was Fairbairn, who was sitting next to me, but he was looking vaguely into the far distance as if his hand was operating as an entirely autonomous entity.

The groping continued on and off for the rest of the programme. Had that happened in later years when I had more confidence I would have said live on air, 'I'm so sorry, but I can't answer this question - or indeed any other question - until Mr Fairbairn removes his hand from my crotch.' As it was, I blundered on.

After the programme I had to share a ´óÏó´«Ã½ car with Robin Cook. I'd never met him before but naturally I assumed that this little ginger gnome, being Left-wing and politically correct, would sympathise with me. Not a bit of it.

'You mustn't be so hard on Nicky,' he said. 'He's very in favour of women's rights.'

Like the right for women not to be groped by libidinous drunks? Evidently not. I was furious. "