Paddy's Bluffer's Guide to Eurovision...
..."if you are trapped in a lift and need a few lines.
It's like the Beijing Olympics. Staged to show off the Nation. Big and expensive. The last of the big-spending contests. They even joke they don't want to win this year because they'll have to stage it next time.
The West fights back. One of the biggest voices in France is here, the UK is a serious contendor Scandanavian countries have pulled out the stops too.
Your nothing without a violin in this contest.
Many songs are terrible. The contest is still not cool in the UK, thank heavens."
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