Freddie Flintoff said this week that what kept him going was the belief that in the end he would wear the three lions of England once more.
Now he's got them on he must be wondering whether he's not wearing three monkeys cos sometimes you'd think the selectors had seen no people, heard no people and spoken to no people about who to pick. Not only can you play 11 games in county cricket and be Australian and line up alongside Fred, but you can have .
. You could bleat at the dismissals of KP and Vaughan but you know what, and KP was lbw any road.
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I don't normally have any problem getting fired up for the but Beijing hasn't quite grabbed me by the remote yet.
at Crystal Palace did mark everyone's card, mind. As he tore away down the home straight he looked like he might just lift off and fly out of the stadium he was going so damn quick. The rest of the field looked like flies stuck in treacle.
So there's this amazing 100m event waiting to blow between Gay, Bolt and Powell, and yet I still can't quite get excited about it.
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Oh God help us, roll on . If I don't get me some footy soon I'm going to be chewing me own arm off.
Instead of which we get and it's exhausting and contradictory and you just want them all to shut up and the season to start.
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It's been a week of massive irritation for me as a sports fan.
First of all there were them golfers, Yanks mostly, who bleated on about . Ah, bless! But just where do you think golf was invented? where every day is the same day and the grass never changes and the bunkers are filled in with sand imported from the Outer Hebrides and you can't actually move huge over-stuffed Craig Stadler looky-likeys crowding on to golf buggies to save their withering pins from too much wear and tear. I swear to God, we're only two generations from North American kids being born with castors on their feet. No, it was invented in Scotland, that haven of climatic peace and serenity. Shut up or go home!
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What is going on at ? It's all a bit New Age airy-fairy right now. Good job that Thaksin Shinawatra is a doctor, eh? Unless it's all his idea this nonsense.
Any road, if you didn't know they've been planting lucky charms all round the place at Manchester City in the hope of bringing good fortune.
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The return of Fred! No booze, no niggles, no arm-bands necessary! But who's he in for?
Will Collingwood step aside? We all like the Durham lad - we watched Colly flower and then Colly Wobble - but surely now he needs a little time on the sidelines with Harmy trying to remember how the game works. Plus he's not been lucky and we want jowsers in the team right now.
But will the selectors drop Sidey instead? The man who looks like he's just stepped off the set of has had a dodgy back, so it could make things straightforward.
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What goes on in the mind of Sepp Blatter?
How in God's name does the tinpot twerp believe that footballers are We need that to get behind the PFA as it fights for its members' liberty.
Oh hang on a bit though... them blokes that used to row those massive galleons while some roly-poly fella banged a drum, weren't they all on 200 grand a week?
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I'll be honest. The arrival of Wimbledon fills me with dread. It's all so ra-ra and C'mon Tim and everyone wear white cos we English SO love our pleasant traditions. Plus my local club never let me join cos me Mam never had enough readies to pay the fees.
The missus loves it, though. I think she imagines herself sitting there with her tennis ball earrings, a family friend of the 'dishy' Djokovic maybe, with her face done up to the nines, shouting "C'mon Novak, this time, this time!"
She's like a trashier Sue Barker to be frank, which is strangely attractive, actually.
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I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
