´óÏó´«Ã½

No, Roy was . He was almost . It was hard to look at him and not think that the cool exterior was the sort that you might have if you were a but nevertheless it worked for him. Also his team played to the final whistle, , and that's what kept them up last season.

Of course on the back of that, Quinny shoved a few mill down the back of Keano's trousers and said 'Go get who you want, son.' And so Roy looked around, saw how well Spurs had done post the Carling Cup victory and . I'm not sure what's been the most horrible at the Stadium of Light this season - the form of Keane's buys or . One week, Djibril looked like he'd had a kip on the touchline just before the groundsman had marked out the pitch. Why do some players insists on having a hairdo they have to live up to?

Quinny's dead keen to assure the unwashed of Blunderland that Keane's made this decision in the best interests of the club. That'll be why you spent two days trying to get him to stay then Niall. I admire the big man's loyalty but I'm not sure Roy deserves it.
. He's turning into football's runaway bride. , when he didn't like Yorkie Mick's methods and failed to compromise for the good of the team. 'Course the team did good without him, so maybe he was helping by getting himself sent home. Then there's the (and Queiroz, I think) when it was becoming clear that he was surplus to his Knightship's requirements. And if you want to know whether Keane's a decent chappie or not.

Of course each time, Roy retreats to his Cheshire bolt-hole and you see him out with the dogs (and I swear to God them dogs are racing to stay a few yards ahead of him just in case a swinging right boot comes round to take them off at the knees.)

Some have told me that I shouldn't be surprised at all. He's been talking himself down in press conferences and that beard's made him look like he's sleeping in doorways at night. He looks like a cross between Action Man and Brian Blessed.

But I'm still not sure why he's scarpered, unless rumours that the dressing-room didn't like his style are true. It's definitely the case that no-one in Keane's career has ever told him to shut up and get on with it. He must be genuinely intimidating. I mean if he reads this and comes a-knocking on my door I'm sure I'd be back into my front room faster than a .

But you look at the and and you can see that the old maxim about some players needing a kick up the backside and some needing an arm round the shoulder being very true. And them two blokes obviously have a bit of a knack with that. You get the impression with Keane - - that if a kick up the backside doesn't work he reverts to a really hard kick up the backside and if that doesn't work he gets the electrodes out. Maybe footballers have become a prissier bunch since the days of , but even Old Big 'Ead had a . Who's Keane got? I doubt he'll ever have a number two who'll utter so much as a Sergeant Wilson-esque 'Do you think that's wise, sir?'

I'm not sure where Sunderland go from here. So much for the captain going down with the ship, Roy. They've got a Titanic job ahead of them and it'll probably call for a big man to take it on. So, Mackems, get used to it! . Bring your telescopes to home matches so you can see the ball at all times and .

They say Keane will be back, too, but I hope we don't hear anything from either of them for a bit - the manager or .

For a man who petrified every attacking midfielder in the country for 10 years, I still say it's a poor way to go. But for God's sake, don't anyone tell him where I live.