The strut that dreams are made of...
How sad am I? After last Saturday's show I ended up watching the movie "Grease" in the wee hours of the morning. I scoured through every scene: from Pink Ladies pouting to T-Birds floundering but I couldn't find any indication of the infamous "Kenicke strut" that was mentioned. Perhaps I'm missing something altogether, or maybe I need to get hooked up with the director's cut on DVD for the deleted scenes to see if it's there.
There was a little bit of technical madness randomly happening during the broadcast of the show. The connection failed at the beginning and so in London, Matt was limbering up, getting ready to play a selection of his favourite Heavy Metal hits until the fault was corrected. Later on, the sound in our headphones went down again and there was this excruciating moment of not knowing what was being said by whom, nor where it was being heard (yes, it was that shambolic!).
Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to emulate some of the shenanigans that occur on our show. The plot has obviously been lost a long time ago, much like those deleted strutting scenes from "Greased Lightning!"
Today's new words: Systematic, Hydromatic, Ultromatic...
Clockwork mice
False starts,
"Aerosmithed" from beating hearts,
Technical difficulties our speciality,
A Hippie Prince raised in insanity,
Procured by Darcy,
A banana farce targeted heartily,
Next up: Botox, Beards and Boobs?
Converting Convents?.... remarkably,
With craftily mocked "schmoks",
Laughing at milksops,
And Kenicke contorted walking, ideally brought with quick-chops!
So before the "Smurf Pasties" give way and blue smarties are hanging about,
These are Radio 2's sexiest vegetables: The babes and corpses signing out!
long may the plot be lost I say, cracking show, and as ever, perfectly summed up Mr Gee xx
darcy is coming..........
hey.
hope you don't mind but I've been banned from a Radio 4 blog for making fun of them and I'm just checking whether that means I'm banned everywhere.
Russell, give us your take on cricket again. I love it!
mac
Gee,
I love your blogs. I do have to agree that I have never noticed a particular Kenicke strut either. Kenicke has clearly lost his mind, as has anyone who rolls about in a wheelchair wielding a knife and hatchet.
xx
so are you going to accept darcy's challenge little man?
I Love your show, Matt is great! and Noel should be on Every Week! Do a show from San Francisco!
Hi Guys,
Its me Birthday and i got the blues!! Russell and Matt can I hire you for the night, me and my mate Beck will show you a good time. I was thinking we could go for a Ruby Murray first, they do good veggie dishes in the curry houses!!!
Then we could go paint the town red go to a nightclub none of these pretentious nightclubs mind, we want a bit of life!! So perhaps our favourite hot spot Harry`s Nightclub!!! You`l have to be perpared for Bex fallin off the table as she launches herself across the club could you make sure she has a soft landing otherwise someone is likely to get a Greek Punch!!! Russell would you mind bringing your make up artist with you, coz our lipstick will probably bleed throughout the night and we will have clown mouths so we want to look our best all through the` night. After the club we can go for a Kebab, dont worry Russ they do veggie bits in there too!! Perhaps you could take us to yours for a coffee (we dont mind going in a taxi if you cant get hold of your chauffer!!) there we can exchange witty repeitore, you can tell us all about how you and matt first hooked up and what naughty adventures you have been on (we know most of them but we dont mind hearing it ffrom the horses mouth!!) Now we dont want any hanky panky that wouldnt be fair on Russell as he is making such a good effort on the `no sex front!!!` (i might have to jump on you both as
it is my Birthday i dont mind a cuddle though)
So does that sound like a good plan ha ha ha!!!
Now back to reality. Il prob end up going to
my local. I will try and round of a few of the degenarates that hang around there. We`ll probably end up in windsor in some utterly ridiculous Nightclub. I will drink copious amounts of alchohol. As the alchohol takes effect on me i will start to have dellusions of grandure and think im far too good for any deviant little bugger that tries to chat me up. I will probably end snogging the face off some guy that i laughed at previously when i didnt have my vodka tinted glasses on. There will be a few insults thrown around as my poor friends try to warn me of my disgusting behaviour. I will be boss eyed with clown lips probably being lured away by some guy that is far too young for me i will be moaning all about the match.com guy who dumped me by text, the poor naive boy wont know what to make of this and will prob try and pour drinks down me in order to lure me into some sordid situation!!!
Anyway im all blogged out and need to plan me Birthday.
Wil listen to ur show on Monday to boost me up and help me get over my shameful behaviour.
Thanks for being such Tonics
loadsa love.
K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Alright you lovely bunch!!
Ah im feelin much better since you put that blog up Thankyou your such a kind bunch on this website, wish i could give you all a big hug!!!
I cant beleive what my mum bought me for me B`day, a really racey little top wow!! hopefully that will bring a bit of attention from the opposite sex!! She also bought me a pair of skinny black jeans i tried them on but i look a bit ridiculous in them i could send them to Russell instead he always looks amazing in them.
Hey guys i just got an e mail from a pilot at match.com what do you think of that!! I was so ungrateful lookin at his pics with him in front of various planes going `oh right thats nice` as though he were standin in front of an ice cream van. I sent him a message back lettin him know it was my birthday just in case he wanted to jet me off to LA were i could catch up with Rusky baby.
Now Russell Matt and Gee, i got a bit of a problem!! My Mighty Boosh DVDs have been held to ransom by the match.com guy. I have tried askin for them back politely but the perpitrator is refusing to Negoiate just in case he reads this blog im putting out a message to him.
Nige put the Boosh down and place in envelope, there`s no need to hold onto them they need returning to their owner who has much more appreciation of them than you, i know ur angry but the DVDs dont deserve to be held up in a smokey filled room they are innocent not like their owner who went a bit wee bit mad on you last weekend, now you`ve got a week to calm down and send those little treasures back, if they are not returned by next saturday i will send the scooby mobile round and they will have to be removed by force!!!!!!!
Is that fair enough!!!
Ooh im gettin all excited about my night out now!! Im going wi this gay guy called DAN!! Il prob leap on the poor little mite later but he can handle me, hes a good boy he knows how to treat a lady!!!
Thanks again you guys!!!
Woadsa love
K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Alright you lovely bunch!!
Ah im feelin much better since you put that blog up Thankyou your such a kind bunch on this website, wish i could give you all a big hug!!!
I cant beleive what my mum bought me for me B`day, a really racey little top wow!! hopefully that will bring a bit of attention from the opposite sex!! She also bought me a pair of skinny black jeans i tried them on but i look a bit ridiculous in them i could send them to Russell instead he always looks amazing in them.
Hey guys i just got an e mail from a pilot at match.com what do you think of that!! I was so ungrateful lookin at his pics with him in front of various planes going `oh right thats nice` as though he were standin in front of an ice cream van. I sent him a message back lettin him know it was my birthday just in case he wanted to jet me off to LA were i could catch up with Rusky baby.
Now Russell Matt and Gee, i got a bit of a problem!! My Mighty Boosh DVDs have been held to ransom by the match.com guy. I have tried askin for them back politely but the perpitrator is refusing to Negoiate just in case he reads this blog im putting out a message to him.
Nige put the Boosh down and place in envelope, there`s no need to hold onto them they need returning to their owner who has much more appreciation of them than you, i know ur angry but the DVDs dont deserve to be held up in a smokey filled room they are innocent not like their owner who went a bit wee bit mad on you last weekend, now you`ve got a week to calm down and send those little treasures back, if they are not returned by next saturday i will send the scooby mobile round and they will have to be removed by force!!!!!!!
Is that fair enough!!!
Ooh im gettin all excited about my night out now!! Im going wi this gay guy called DAN!! Il prob leap on the poor little mite later but he can handle me, hes a good boy he knows how to treat a lady!!!
Thanks again you guys!!!
Woadsa love
K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!
Russell's coming back to England!
Russell's coming back to England!
Russell's coming back to England!
Russell's coming back to England!
Russell's coming back to England!
Russell's coming back to England!
I've got heads and shoulders leggs and arms!!
*wink wink*
Russ will be back from the states soon. I wonder if he will be part of the illuninate users of the new terminal 5.
It sounds so plush with desighner outlets.
The new first class travel is something that only a chosen few will ever experience.
All the money poured into projects like the glassy new St Pancreas with all its glory.
Last night on telly there was a lot of programmes about Iraq five years on.
You see in the news about the problems in England. Walking out of the house, you are confronted with the degredation of society.
I really think it might be too late for us you know, here in the west.
To save ourselves.
There are so many changing goalposts, so many mixed messages and blind eyes bieng turned.
We are imploding.
No one will actually look at the double standards.
We are becoming devoid of integrity and can legitimately talk ourselves out of any thing. Problem is, we are ultimately talking ourselves out of any continuity here in our culture.
Long long ago, Britain was hailed as moral.
Now anything, to be quite honest ,is fair game.
There has to be a point in which we stop the abuse.
At least we should consider a level of dignity for each other.
But every one is left to live by any standard they choose to.
This leaves a gaping hole through which the sharks can climb.
Promoting lifestyles in this country that excuse complete lack of community concern.
Community has been choked out. The people working in this country, work, to the exclusion of a social concience.
They work to pay for the privilage to turn a blind eye and take zero responsibility.
What is the new standard of England. If you could describe the charecteristics of what makes us tick, what would you say. Would you optimistically look for the good, or would you take an honest invantory.
I really loved that programme on tv called meet the natives. Those dear men from Tanna made some profound observations about us. They were naive to the real extent of the problems here.
They picked out a point, that we should be more loving and caring towards one another.
MONEY MONEY MONEY
It pays and divides.
We look to historical regimes that have played themselves out, dictatorships, terrible rich poor divides and unfairness. Over the world. But in history we are currently seeing such a poverty of spirit.
Is anyone prepared to say what they see. At least if this becomes a requirement from the top, then sometyhing can be done. Everybody is eager to disclaim.
Have we really all lost our humanity.
Should humanity be so ruthless?
In the time of the empire. The more developed countries set about developing the world.
Then commerce took the opportunity to exploit the links, spoiling the good intentions.
The expanding empire inploded because of the exploitation.
It would be great to have a new incentive, to bring a better standard of living to the poorer parts of the world.
I know this is a sacriligous and inflamitory question to ask, but why did the extreemists blow up the towers and try to hit on the stock markets.
What was their problem.
Well I think,[ and I,m probably wrong]
But I think they were incensed by the greed of the west.
THe immence PRIDE, shaddowing the world.
It cant come down to anti semetism as they would have chosen different targets.
They cant have chosen Christians as they are supposed to be against worldly gain.
It was the strangle hold that commerce has on the world.
MONEY MONEY MONEY.
Seeing their wretched lives meeted out in the dessert.
Trying themselves as Muslems not to worship mammon.
But somehow the lifestyles aspired to in the west are abhorrent and offensive to them.
There has to be a degree of eating humble pie, one day, by the great leaders.
A degree of humility, to realize we live in a global village where one side of town has it all and the other side doesnt. The side that has it all only recognises itself.
Please dont think for a minute I am condoning the innocent murders, I,m not.
There was a massive wake up call to the wests leaders. The action taken was not necesarily appropriate. To go after the killers, tarring their whole culture as the enemy.
There has to be a point where the pride turnes into a vehicle of change when dented and damaged.
As a western culture we need to rethink ourselves, reinvent a new 20th century integrity.
Integrity is a dirty word, when government and commerce live in each others pockets.
It has to be achnowledged that there is no longer any real integrity. Sometimes there are flashes of it to sustain the constant greed, but generally we are corrupt. Shame init.
It starts here there and every where, the secular progressive church preaches prosperity and models it perfectly, the government have their nests so well feathered, they would be stupid to question themselves.
The media, are a double edged sword of compliments and accusations. Fear rules. Fear to step out of the mould and be free.
You know, if people would only take time to be themselves and search their hearts they would find humble little answers, which would say that they dont know.
A good starting point. To not know, to reexamine the situation and look for new solutions that may go against the grain, are boring but would help.
Thats not an excuse to devour the next man, to feel better. Its tried and tested and leads no where fast.
I here this whole former drug addict nonsense, is just that. NONSENSE. An act.
Good Evening Gentlemen!!
Who left that spiteful former drug addict message how spiteful!! Explain yourself please coz if you were referring to Mr Brand then you really need to validate what you are saying instead of leaving ridiculous half baked sentances!!!!!!
This is the first time ive felt half human for a few days. Been wandering around under a grey cloud for the past few days!! Hey Russell whats this hear about you having a girlie, How very dare you? what about your hareem of wives that devote all our blogs and hearts to you. Tis such a shame really you know your hareem is here should you get bored of thenew girlie!!!
Relationships are a funny thing are`nt they. I turn into a neurotic muppett when im in a relationship. Its all to do with the chase we are a very primative lot when it comes to that. If a man is too attentive to me i think `what the hell is his problem ooh hes far too clingy` the minute they start being a bit mean, or should i say turn into a complete pig i start thinking `ooh how interesting bring it on!!!!!!`
Society doesnt make it easy to sustain a relationship too many temptations to lure people away from their partners, (internet, sex clubs, ads in the paper for escorts ect ect) Its almost more abnormal not to have an affair than it is normal. Its a shame really coz there is nothing more special than meeting your soulmate, someione you really connect with trust and love with all your heart.
I hope it does work out with your new girlfriend Russell, just take your time to connect and appreciate eachother, I know your lookin for love as we all our in some form, just protect your heart as its precious and so are you.
Nite Nite.
K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Howdey doodey guys and gals!!
Alrite Russ Matt and Mr Gee,
What dreadful weather we are havin dear me!!!!!!, Russ you`l av to wrap up warm as ul feel the cold after comin back from LA. Have you missed your wives!!?? (ooh u are a swine gettin urself all loved up!!)
Ooh iv been so depwessed these last few days walking around under a big dark cloud. Today i thought to myself stop this kara at once what on earth have you got to be so down about now get over it!! So i mooched into HMV and bought myself the DVD mighty boosh live (the one that mr ears stole off me!!!) Then i mooched around town and bought some ridiculous outfitS and had a nice meal and i felt so much better. Problem with me is I invest too much emotion in relationships too soon, i throw my heart at blokes `Go on take it and abuse it i dont mind bored of it anyway!!` and thats exactly what most blokes to do to me.
Anyway i wont be broken by that silly man off match.com Nigel. Who wants to go out with a bloke called NIGEL anyway it evokes all matter of creepiness, you imagine a sweaty palmed man with a pair of biniculours and a dirty rain mac eating a cheese and pickle sandwhich. Nah im only joking whats in a name for gawd sake.
I mean if you imagine Russell you dont imagine a man like Mr Brand!! (you imangine an overweight pyscic writing your stars!!!) My name is Irish for `Friend and Dear` although most of my friends would argue it should be `mad bird that likes a drink!!!`
How are you getting on with Adam Sandler mr Brand i hear he has regonised you as a real talent, i hope he pulls some strings for you.
Now Russell can i let you into a seceret my old mucka Bex was e-mailing Adam and she happened to mention that you had stacks of talent and he should keep ihis eye on you, so perhaps she had something to do with you too meeting, I hope so coz she is such a loyal fan to you.
Anyway Paul O` Grady is on and im dying to watch him!!!
Love you all
K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kara!
You shudnt v said that about me messagin Mr Sandler an puttin the word in for Rusk, I feel like a prize plonka now.
When I told you that, I may as well have been shining my nails on my lapel with eyebrows raised, as if I had really played a part in landing Russ the deal.
What a muppet am I.
I was trawling through Russes u tubes last night and found that Adam had been a guest on the Leister Square,a show that Russ presented.
Agh, what a pillock.
Alan Partridge moment.
I dont know how I do it.
Do you remember me telling you that the terrible flu bugs that were sweeping the country were down to chemical warfare, stealthily slipped in by no less than Sadam Hussain.
Your sister had to take you to one side and emphatically point out that it was not caused in that way.
At the beginning of the war in Iraq I was running roung lke a chicken, whos sky had fallen in and went on and on about the terrible consequences. I started stock piling food and water. What a banana.
Why is it I have to be a donkey all the time. No one will ever take me seriously.
This mornin when I woke up I was havin a bad dream about Rob. He was still alive and lurkin around my place. I was so hurt that it wasnt ever going to work but I still loved him.
Littlun came down to wake me up.
I half refused to open my eyes, still wantin to savour the moment as if it was real.
I had to chear up as, when I told littlunn that I was having a bad dream about Rob, he said,
"Well, youve got me now, I,m here"
I tried to snap out of it and turned and cuddled him, saying that he had spaggetti last night for dinner.
He laughed saying it was a really random thing to say.
Then I said for breakfast we were having pancakes, with a massive beam on my face.
Littlun backed off with a dubious look of worry saying that my expression was disturbing.
I cant win.
I think I mustv looked like Jacky Nickolson in the shining when he had put the axe through the door.