大象传媒

Not so much funny as incredible, but until they disbanded themselves last weekend, one of the political parties in the Netherlands was the PNVD. This was the party which consisted of paedophiles.

After having lived there for eight years, I know this to be factual!

Hilarious!

Speeding truck drivers in India are punished by having to hop like frogs for 1/2 km. Whilst doing this they must also hold their ears and chant the name of their favourite political leader. Who said men can't multi-task?

I think this story is hilarious! Where do these kids go to school?

Looks like Nick Griffin got a job at Wallmart

Manuka the micro pig has a day out in London

Tiny tourist Manuka is as happy as a pig in... well, the city, as she enjoys her first trip to London.


[img]/img]

She trotted around the capital on a day out to remember, taking in sights such as Big Ben and the London Eye, before running into the police, who could not resist a cuddle.

Manuka is a 鈥榤icro pig鈥� 鈥� the latest must-have pet for celebrities including David and Victoria Beckham and Harry Potter actor Rupert Grint.

A lot of people couldn鈥檛 believe they were seeing this tiny little pig trotting around the city,鈥� said owner and micro pig breeder Jane Croft, of Christchurch, Cambridgeshire.

鈥楳ost were intrigued and came over to say hello to her. She was a bit of a local star for the day.鈥�

At just 12cm (5in) high and 33cm (13in) long, Manuka was dwarfed by some of London鈥檚 top attractions, including Trafalgar Square鈥檚 huge lions

[img]/im]

Micro pigs 鈥� also known as miniature and teacup pigs 鈥� grow to just 35cm (14in) tall and live about 20 years.

鈥楾hey are such great pets,鈥� said Jane, 43. 鈥楾hey are really very loving and the breed is very intelligent.鈥�


metro.

jenny x

Man marries pillow

True love can take many forms. In this case, it has taken the form of a Korean man falling in love with, and eventually marrying, a large pillow with a picture of a woman on it.



[img]/img]

Lee Jin-gyu fell for his 'dakimakura' - a kind of large, huggable pillow from Japan, often with a picture of a popular anime character printed on the side.


In Lee's case, his beloved pillow has an image of Fate Testarossa, from the 'magical girl' anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.

Now the 28-year-old otaku (a Japanese term that roughly translates to somewhere between 'obsessive' and 'nerd') has wed the pillow in a special ceremony, after fitting it out with a wedding dress for the service in front of a local priest. Their nuptials were eagerly chronicled by the local media.

'He is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere,' said one friend.

'They go out to the park or the funfair where it will go on all the rides with him. Then when he goes out to eat he takes it with him and it gets its own seat and its own meal,' they added.

The pillow marriage is not the first similarly-themed unusual marriage in recent times - it comes after a Japanese otaku married his virtual girlfriend Nene Anegasaki, a character who only exists in the Nintendo DS game


metro.co.uk

OAPs Learn Self-Defence With Walking Sticks

Sky News Online


Walking sticks often symbolise frailty, but a martial art for pensioners using sticks as self-defence is spreading across East Anglia.

Triple blackbelt Kevin Garwood, 61, from Gorleston, Norwich, began teaching the pensioner cane classes after many told him they were afraid to go out after dark.

His students, aged 50 to 76, all use an NHS walking stick and list strokes, severe diabetes, heart attacks, triple bypasses and arthritis among their medical complaints.

Speaking to Five News' Simon Vigar, Mr Garwood said mastering stylish stick-work is harder than it looks.

"People need to understand that if they want to protect themselves, they need to know how to do it properly," he said.

"They need to know where they can hit without causing serious damage."

The two-hour weekly classes, first launched two-years ago, have become so popular that Mr Garwood is planning to set up sessions across Norfolk.

Holy cow!: Calf named Moses is born with cross marking on head 10/12/2009



[img]/img]


This week-old calf was born with a mark on its head in the shape of a cross.

The cow has been named Moses by kids living near the farm in Sterling, Connecticut.

Owner Brad Davis says he thinks the white cross could be a message from above.


mirror.co.uk

a man in new york is making cheese out of his wife's breast milk and selling it.

Everyone loves a story about pigs! :)

this one made me laugh.

Tourist imprisoned in Australia for importing tea

A tourist was held by Australian police for five days after customs officers mistook packets of tea for amphetamines.

My final contribution of the day

Lithuanian fined 'for assaulting police woman with his genitals'

quick quote from the article ' "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing (himself) .... forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck," she said.'

i saw this on the Wright Stuff this morning and nealy wet myself with laughter check out this evil baby!!!!

The hypnotherapist cat
The regulation of hypnotherapists in the UK is so lax that even a cat can become accredited, the 大象传媒 has found.

Chris Jackson, presenter of Inside Out in the North East and Cumbria, registered pet George with three industry bodies.

Each one accepted a certificate from the non-existent Society of Certified Advanced Mind Therapists as proof of George鈥檚 credentials.

It follows a similar investigation by an American clinical psychologist.

Dr Steve Eichel suspected industry bodies in the US were not running checks on their members.

He said: 鈥淚 felt I鈥檇 test my hypothesis and I did that by getting my cat certified by a number of the most prominent lay hypnosis organisations in the United States. It was a frighteningly simple process.鈥�

In the UK, George was registered with the British Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming (BBNLP), the United Fellowship of Hypnotherapists (UFH) and the Professional Hypnotherapy Practitioner Association (PHPA).

The UFH welcomed the Inside Out investigation and admitted the mistake, which it said has since been corrected.

A PHPA spokesman said the organisation makes great effort to ensure every applicant is a fully-qualified hypnotherapist.

The BBNLP said it exists only to provide benefits to its members, not to check or certify credentials.

hi guys. It would be ace if you could show my clips and put my name on the credits :)



The very top headline is quite cool

This is the best out of all the ones on my comment. Please use this one.

Thanx Connor Rotheram

Quite a funny find

Brits want fun funerals
19/03/2010


Britons want to put the fun back into funerals, research reveals.

More than eight in 10 are against a traditional sombre send-off where mourners dress in black.

Post Office Insurance found many fancy a coffin in the colours of their football team followed by a do to celebrate their life.

Around 7% liked the idea of their ashes made into a crystal or shot skyward.

Pubs to be allowed gift shops

Pubs will be allowed to open gift shops and sell books in a bid to prevent 40 closures a week, it was announced today.

Landlords will receive business advice and town hall chiefs will get protective planning powers. Campaign for Real Ale boss Mike Benner said it would help communities.


mirror.co.uk

Warning! Drunks in the road - Romanian road sign warns drivers of hammered pedestrians


[img]/img]


Desperate road safety chiefs in Romania have put up traffic signs warning motorists of drunk pedestrians.

Following an increase in traffic accidents involving drunks stumbling into the road the Mayor Petru Antal ordered the signs saying 鈥楢ttention 鈥� Drunks鈥� complete with an image of a reveller on his knees with a bottle.

鈥淲e are a border town and have lots of cars thundering through here all the time," he explained.

But we also have a very vibrant nightlife and the two don't mix. We have to target the drivers because by the time they get to this state the pedestrians are beyond caring.鈥�

mirror.co.uk

Bank worker saved from fire by divine intervention finds Jesus in his frying pan.


When Toby Elles fell asleep while cooking a late-night snack, it really was a case of divine intervention that saved his bacon.
The 22-year-old was 'miraculously' woken after an hour as his lounge filled with smoke 鈥� and quickly had the revelation that he had left a frying pan on a hob.
While saying his prayers, the bank worker scraped the remains of crispy bacon rashers from the pan, but could not believe the vision that appeared before him - Jesus Christ staring back at him.



The image, burnt into the base of the pan, shows eyes and a nose as well as the distinctive beard and long hair of the son of God.
鈥業t鈥檚 some kind of miracle鈥�, the Halifax Bank cashier from Salford, Lancaster, said.
His culinary efforts may have been burnt to a crisp but Mr Elles said being saved from meeting the man upstairs was well worth it.
He added: 鈥業 fell asleep cooking some bacon and it had burnt this face on to the pan.
鈥業f it wasn't for the smoke it could have been a very bad situation, perhaps someone's looking over me.


[img/img]

My housemates and I had a few beers earlier in the evening I thought I would snack before going to bed and as it was cooking I decided to take a rest on the couch.
鈥榃hen I woke up about an hour later the room was full of smoke.
鈥楲uckily we have an electric hob so I just turned off the heat, but then I lifted up the bacon and there was JC looking back at me.鈥�
Mr Elles has said he is going to keep the 'gift from God' for good luck.

鈥業'm not going to scrub it clean though, just in case I get struck by lightning, it's going to take pride of place on a wall instead,' he said.

鈥業t's become quite a talking point for people who come round to the house and I have even thought I might get a glass cabinet to put it in.
"I'm going to keep it for the rest of my life, perhaps it can watch over me."


the daily mail.

Hello me again :P found another cool one about tiger woods
if u scroll down slightly you'll find the tigerwoods headline



this is a cool one to

Thanx again
Connor Rotheram

Russell you have to read this !!!!!!!!!


Harry Potter: 'invisibility cloak' prototype created by scientists



A prototype "invisibility cloak", similar to those worn by fictional wizard Harry Potter, has been developed by European scientists.

British and German researchers have created the three-dimensional that can hide objects by bending light waves, which could pave the way for larger objects to be made invisible.

While the cloak of invisibility has played a major role in fiction and movies, it appears that scientists have taken a small, but important new step, toward making it reality.


In their study, researchers from the German Karlsruhe Institute of Technology and Imperial College London used the cloak, made using photonic crystals with a structure resembling piles of wood, to conceal a small bump on a gold surface.

In their study, published Thursday in the American journal Science, they rendered almost entirely invisible the bump that measured 0.00004 inches high by 0.00005 inches across, by "cloaking" it in a new material.

Invisibility cloaks have already been developed but they only worked on two dimensions.

In other words, the objects that were supposed to be made invisible were immediately visible from the third dimension, the study said.

The "cloak" invented by the European team is the first to work on three dimensions.


composed of special lenses that bend light waves to suppress light as it scattered from the tiny bump the researchers were trying to make disappear, the study says.

"For now these ... cloaking devices are just a beautiful and exciting benchmark to show what transformation optics can do," said Tolga Ergin, who led the research.

鈥淭his is very exciting, because mankind has always thought about being invisible or having invisibility cloaks.

"This is the first proof of principle. It shows that the technique works.

He added: "The value of the finding is that we learn more about the concepts of transformation optics, and that we have made a first step in producing 3-D structures in that field.鈥�

He cautioned that it likely be years before anything as large as a person, car or tank could be made to disappear with this technique.

"There have been proposals in the field of transformation optics for different devices like beam concentrators, beam shifters, super antennas which concentrate light into one point from all directions, and much, much more," he said.

"It is really hard to say what the future will bring, but the field is definitely very broad and the possibilities are very large."

metro.co.uk

Skateboarding owl is a hit


A barn owl that rides a skateboard has become a hit at its local shopping centre.

[img]/img]

But contrary to expectation Alby is no night rider - instead he displays his wheely good skills in front of stunned shoppers in Folkestone, Kent.

Brian Maxted, 73, who runs Folkestone Owl Sanctuary, said he discovered Alby's unusual talent during a trip to the local shopping centre.

He said: "I often take some owls into town to try and get some donations from shoppers.

"I had the owls out one day last week and a young lad stopped to look at them.

"He put down his skateboard and Alby, who'd been fast asleep, saw it and jumped on.

"Someone pulled it along the ground and he loved it so much, we had to get him one of his own."

Alby, who is 13, has now developed his technique, which involves him swooping onto the board, using the momentum from his flight to push him along

When the board comes to a stop, Alby takes off and flies in a small circle before re-landing on the board, pushing it along again.

Student Paul Lendon, 17, from Folkestone said: "I was stunned when I saw him riding along on his miniature board.

"I'm aware of the famous skateboarder Tony Hawk, but I've never before heard of Tony Owl."

metro.co.uk

Russians to Get Help With Bathroom 'Stage Fright'


If you have overwhelming fear of public bathrooms, you have more than a wee problem. You may have paruresis.

"Shy-bladder syndrome," as it is better known, affects an estimated 17 million Americans, many of whom try desperately to hold it in while they're at work, school or otherwise trying to live their lives.

Some have to leave the bathroom if they go in and see their boss inside. Others have a fear that's so severe that they have trouble leaving home.

"It took a long time to get Americans to start talking about this, but now it's become a global issue," says University of Maryland professor Steven Soifer, who opened America's first shy-bladder workshop in 1997. He went on to found the International Paruresis Association.

I take my share of jokes for what I do. There are people here at the university who aren't so thrilled with what I do," Soifer says. "It's OK. For one thing, this is important work. For another, I have tenure."

The professor of social work says the association has conducted more than 140 workshops in 40 cities and 25 states, helping more than 1,200 clients overcome their fears of public restrooms.

This weekend, he will be in Moscow, where he will bring his counseling to Russia. "I will be essentially doing the same sort of program I do in the United States," he says. "They already have formed an association to create awareness. Now they have to deal with the problem on a workshop level."

metro.co.uk

Squirrels burn down branch of Kentucky Fried Chicken




CUSTOMERS fled from a branch of KFC after a squirrel started a fire that gutted the restaurant.

A family of squirrels had been living in the roof space of the building and staff believe one of the rodents sparked the blaze by gnawing through an electric cable.

More than 30 diners had to be evacuated after fire broke out in the roof space of the restaurant.

Fire crews took several hours to bring the blaze under control and police closed roads around the scene.

A worker at the KFC in Broadstairs, Kent, said: "The squirrels have been living up on the roof for a while. They seem to like it here.

"You see them most days scampering around."

Assistant manager Chandiran Sandanan added: "The only thing that could have caused the fire really was the electrical box in the roof space.

"It's sad to see it burning down - I've worked here for six years and it's very successful. I hope they rebuild it."


daily record.

Oddest thing I've read in weeks...

plzzzz on good news next week can you say hi too ashleigh baker and millie reeve because we are your biggist fans

Married people 'twice as likely to be fat'

Married people are twice as likely to become obese than their single counterparts, scientists claim

Greek researchers found that married couples were more likely to become fat due to their significantly changed lifestyle as they 鈥渓et themselves go鈥�.

Married men are three times as likely to suffer obesity while married women are twice as likely to have weight problems, it found.
The research, based on the study of more than 17,000 couples aged between 20 and 70, found that married couples exercised less frequently, had less sex, had poor nutrition and were 鈥渃omfortable鈥� in their lives.

Married couples spend more time eating together, sit in front of the TV more and often order takeaway ready meals while exercising less.

Hostage released for pizza

An Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met.

Up to 20 inmates at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, seized the guard in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail.

Initially they made 24 demands to authorities, but eventually gave up their hostage after agreeing to 15 pizzas, Coke and garlic bread instead.

"At midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered. Our staff member was negotiated out with the delivery of 15 pizzas," Graeme Barber, Tasmania's director of prisons, told The Advocate newspaper.
The guard is recovering from his ordeal at home

Defendant hurled slipper at judge

An Indian man allegedly hurled a slipper at a court judge who promptly threw a paperweight back in reply.

Nazir Mohammad was in court in Baroda on charges of housebreaking and theft when he jumped out of the witness box and rushed towards the judge.

The robber, reportedly irritated with the slow pace of the case, took off his slipper and threw it at Chief judicial magistrate C D Vaghela.

Judge Vaghela immediately picked up a paperweight from his desk and threw it back at the accused, reports Midday.

Mohammed, who attacked two other judges last year in similar fashion, has been sent back to prison with an extra offence registered against him.

Members of the Baroda Bar Association went on strike after the incident to protest at the lack of security for judges, lawyers and witnesses.

This is worrying but also entertaining!

Bank Robbers Call Ahead for Cash, Get Cops Instead

This is such a genius and epic fail that it deserves to be mentioned!!

This made me laugh. :D

Police force issues 22 pages of guidance on how to use the internet. hahahaha (:

Hey Russel i got a funny story here, in my hometown of walsall, a man hung himself to a cross on a lamp post outside a doctors surgery, he was 'protesting' because he had his medication stopped. If this makes the show, a picture of this can be found at:

Here's a Funny News Story

Just watching the News at One. 大象传媒 One. 30th March. Look East.

News Story about Optic Fibre Cables cut. so Lots of People Around Have Lost All Internet And Phone Lines.

The News Presenter then adds after the news clip please contact us if you have been effected by telephone and email. With the corresponding telephone number and email address underneath!!!

Made us all laugh how will they ever ring or email the 大象传媒 News Team at Look East, their phone and internet lines are down!!! Silly.

Total Fail

James Hems

Watching the local news yesterday evening (大象传媒 Spotlight Southwest 29/03/10 22:25) and there was a report about a nurse from Devon who has been complaining about her employers because they would not allow her to wear a crucifix whilst on duty.

I cracked up when the reporter, describing a moment during her appearance at an employment tribuneral where she was being questioned, as 'under cross-examination'!!!

A report in The Times (Mar 25) regarding The Pope's involvement in the 'Vatican abuse cover-up'.
No need to read past the name of the reporter, was this an early April Fool's Joke???

wayne rooney mite not be playing in the world cup because he has hurt his leg on tuesday 30th march so now we have no one to play in the world cup now :)

hey russel
saw this and laughed.
some one is clearly bored at NASA.

1st April (ironically) the local Liverpool newspaper published an article reporting that the Liverpool Liver Building has been bought out by an American billionaire who intends to demolish the historic landmark brick by brick to ship over to New York to have it re-built as a tourist attraction.

Tongue in cheek of course to the wise, but a large handful of the more, shall we say, unintelligent and particularly destitute citizens of Liverpool have been filled with a sense of rage due to this 'disloyal' agreement!

The link below speaks for itself anyway, happy reading.

I've got a good news story for the end of the show.

this website tells you everything :)

[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

be sure to watch the video aswell.

design magazine running out of things to write about goes for the simple 'write about whats around you'....
brilliant for just the title..and the modifications...

Not sure if funny would be a way to explain this one but it does show you what lengths some Americans will go to if pushed to far.



Don't normally read the Washington post but my browser took me to it and this story caught my eye.

Me an my friends were talking about this article, i espically like that in the article it refers to "evasive action" being needed to avoid a naked drunk mans bits
joe

sorry forgot to put the link in
joe

I find this artical very funny yet remarkable. It's about animals who can predict extreme weather conditions; like this toad who predicted an earthquake. :D

We found this



Its hilarious xD Should be shown on the show, everyone should see this!

Man who was disabled started to walk again after he saw a picture of the pope john paul

i fink this is absolutely brilliant!! and its my mate who got ran over by the POLICE PATROL CAR, the English students, our future, i cant wait :D

wes from ware

Woman In Swansea Faints In A Local Asda, From PLEASURE PANTS !!!




Comedy Gold ;D

Arron Newcombe

I left the loony Wedding TV show, Brides on a Bus, this week: [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]Being stuck on a bus with 9 other crazy women and David Van Day, it was definitely good news to me!

I know how Death Cat works from episodeone of the new series.

i saw it on an episode of House.

when old people ae dieing they're usually cold and so the nurses put on the electric blankets on them - cats like warm places to sleep.

and when they're dieing of an infection, their temperature goes up - making them warm - making the bed warm - cat sleeps next to them

Ergo death cat has been smashed. (term used in my secondary to put down someone's idea e.g. Sean B - "... and then i went down on her" Me - "Bull!! I was with her all night cause we had to write up our chemistry projects. You've been SMASHED" soemtimes a hand gesture of an open palm into someone's face is usually used along with the phrase.

Thank you for reading this

Iain Croall

I Found A more weird story About An Armed Pizza Robbery

I Found This News Articile very weird

I found this when i went on google. It's basicly an application for phones that translates what animals say! It made me laugh so hard when I saw the video on the page.. I mean why would anybody want to know what animals say about them kinda like the animal would say " oh my god when did you last brush your teeth, last century?" well anyway here is the link

Hi i found this bizarre news story.
A police for has been criticised after they put a puplic appeal out for a lost search dog 19 hours before they made an appeal for the missing man the search dog was looking for.

Heyy, so I was watching 'This Morning' today, 9 April, and found the way Eamonn worded the topic about the cat that terrorises the postman rather amusing. It was in the first 15minutes of the show.

we put viagra in a kids drink before a history exam... enough said

this didnt make the news because we would have probably been killed :D

Hello
I know its not easter anymore but its still a good story!
50 year old Unopened easter egg in Nuneaton (yay!)

I'm not joking. You know that guy who love being on camera on channel 4 i found him again! Doing a bit of housework with the news on at 1 i saw him in front of the camera on the bbc! I don't have a link but he was there.

I found a piece of news which is unbelievable!

this boy found his mums credit card and spent 拢900 of it on a game on facebook!

here is the link of the article: [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

Taiwanese boy being dubbed the new Susan Boyle after this performance of a Whitney Houston song on "Super Star Avenue", Taiwanese version of X Factor;

there is a man in Greece that is suing a Swedish dairy for 50 million kroner (拢4.5 million) for using his picture on Turkish yoghurt (please can someone tell me what all the fuss is about)

royal mail workers have stopped delivering mail to a house because there is a CAT that attacks them when they come to deliver the mail. (I thought that's what dogs do)


lady in Plymouth forged 170 cheques and spent the money on luxury overseas holidays, helicopter rides, expensive jewellery and two homes. after a hearing in Plymouth crown court she has been ordered to pay back just one pound of the five hundred thousand she stole in compensation.

not really funny news but theres a new big singing sensation on youtube everyones calling the new susan boyle its worth checking out.

postman scared of an old cat:

Hi - could you have a look at "Something for the Weekend" from Sunday 21st March - it was the one just before your new series started. Tim Lovejoy spent the whole programme reaching round to his bum - it was probably his radio mike but it looked like he was trying to loosen a wedgie!

Hi Russ!! and all at Good News - We love your show here in New Zealand we watch it online :)

Anyway, this week we sold a sod of grass on our local auction website for over $100!! Check out our q&a's and have a laugh



Thanks heaps,
Ruth Fulford

Hi Russell, and all at the studio!


I was with my cousin just two weeks ago and we were sitting down stairs watching your show. After watching it we put on the music channel and a song came on by shakira. You should check it out and this is what you could sya if you decide to use it in the show.


"Shakira has finnally admitted being a gypsy in her song. She asks people to go where ever she is going with her and then she threatens to steal your clothes! Madness!" *show chorous".


This is a link to the song on 'Youtube'.




Thankyou!
From Shannon Cartlidge, Number one Cheryl Cole fan! xx

Brail Porn?
i didn't think so either but yes there is!.
This made me laugh so much. Even playboy are making brail magazines but without the pictures. :)

this is the most random thing!!!!



has anyone else read this???!!

Russell, I IMPLORE YOU to cover this story. It is absolutely amazing. Alyson Myatt, a nanny from Kentucky RAN THROUGH FIRE to save the 5-year-old boy she was babysitting. She now is struggling to pay for her health insurance to cover the cost of her burns. If you promote it, she might get more donations.

I don't even know this woman and I want to help her. Her story moved me and she is so humble.

This is the full story that I found, Tonic are already raising money for her which is epic, but more is always good I guess :)



Thanks for reading,
Muttley (yeah, I laugh exactly like him lol) xxx

The russian "Lesbians" are back! With a new album "Waste Management" And 2 new songs "White Robe" Which features a REAL preganant woman being shot by a firing squad at the end and "Sparks" which is about dead bunnys or something like that, please make a joke out of it as i think you're hillarious,

- White Robe

- Sparks

Thanks :) xx

It has come to something when you can't even leave a potato in a field without posting a security guard! Obviously where there's muck there's brass. Either that, or the thieves are a bit thick and think that these are the same kind of Royal Pearls that the queen and Camilla wear.

true story. very funny. put my name in lights/credits!

Russell you must of heard this

The double down burger from KFC in America!
Instead of bread they use fried chicken!

It was americas top story which is quite unbelievable considering Barack Obama (Mr long legged mac dadd

Much as I feel sorry for this Kid this is so goddamn funny - we all know they dont really

a few months ago i saw someone get palled other by a police man and they said can you get out of the car please he said no its raining ok the police man said fine put your window down he said no i will get wet then the police man just said dont let me see you again and he said you will

One of the most amazing facebook groups ever! Russell Howard for Prime Minister!

Come on, you have to admit this is hilerious! :)

hey! I know this isnt really good news or it might be!

but my mate sab actually finds russell incredibly hot! and would love to meet him! just wondered how we could get tickets to one of the shows!
much lvs x

A controversial crucifix depicting Christ with abdominal muscles shaped like a thingy will not be withdrawn from a church in Oklahoma. This is fantastic.

[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

A U.K. woman has been diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder after falling off her Wii Fit board and damaging a nerve, the Toronto Sun reported.

Amanda Flowers, who lives in Manchester, England, said she has sexual urges up to 10 times a day since she fell. A doctor confirmed her diagnosis.

"It began as a twinge down below, before surging through my body," Flowers told a U.K. newspaper. "Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm."

Here is a link to the controversial and amusing Oklahoman crucifix in English:

Hi Russell,

This is hilarious. Its statements like the following that makes you wonder if Darwin had missed something out of the equation.

As you know Scottish air space was the first to be closed down quickly followed by Scandinavia, the remainder of the UK as well as most of Western Europe due to the volcanic dust cloud emanating from the Icelandic volcano. Anyway, there was an array of responses to the events which were unfolding. Some philosophical, others irate were caught on camera however this is the most amusing yet somewhat disconcerting.

When asked for his views one stranded Scots traveller remarked, 鈥淲ell, I think it鈥檚 ridiculous. I mean it鈥檚 up there.... We鈥檙e down here. It鈥檚 not at ground level.鈥� Unfortunately, I鈥檓 not sure if it was a 大象传媒 or ITN news report.

He was supposed to be getting on an aircraft. Which part of flying does he not understand?

John A. Brown, Ardrossan, Scotland

Frankie Boyle was critisied by the bbc after taking the mick of down syndrome sufferers parents, and then and couple stood up in the audiience and told him that their daughter had down syndrome.

After a television performance, Nick Clegg became more popular, and he compared himself to Barrack Obama.

OK, so the volcano ash and people being stranded is no laughing matter but this make me chuckle all day:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8627026.stm

Would have loved to have seen the guy on the kiddies' bike. Think Norfolkline qualify for this week's jobs worth award.

saw it and i made me giggle poor guy

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

englands brand new football team in training for the world cup, god help us

Jedis offended in tescos? HELL YES

hi im josh tapp from saltash my story for youe show is david cameron coming to saltash college so he could answer some younger peoples question about the election coming up and some kid decided it would be a goos idea to throw an egg at mr. cameron which hit him in the back he got arrested and later got let free with no charge and apperently this is on youtube check it out thanx from josh :)

hi josh from saltash again i bet you know-one is laughing at peter grffin now for taking out volcano insurance on an episode of family guy :)

Hi Guys, 3 stories that amused me, although one may not count as it isn't technically news but its still awesome

Old (but still funny) news
Man escapes prison in Cardboard box (if you have ever played metal gear solid, this is one of the most awesome stories ever)


Barely a week old
woman tells news after her son sees breasts in comic


Very recent news (discovered it 10 minutes before writing this comment)
Marmite plans legal action against the BNP

okay i was looking up play dough ideas to make for my little brother when i found a toy for kids. POOPY TIME FUN SHAPES !! its where the kids gets their poo and then makes a shape out of it i cracked up and there are loads of pictures and stuuf that you can look up it make me die of absolute laughter lol but i found out it isnt a reall product so maybe you could in corperate that into your stories somehow much appreciated
Billy :)

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Keep an eye out for election headlines such as on the main page of www.yahoo.co.uk. I think "Cameron Slams Balls" is possibly the best headline ever. and then there's:



There's a lovely comment from Janice on this page:



How about a blast from the past?



and finally:



I love ball humour :)

Woman Accused of Being Fat Tries to Eat Man In Retaliation