Racker Donnelly
Racker Donnelly is a comedy poet who plays comedy and poetry clubs In Ireland, America, Australia and the UK. He was the UK Slam Champion Poet in 2005/6.
Britannia Waives The Rules
Join the wavy navy, lad.
Sail the Persian Gulf.
Listen to your Dear Old Dad.
Don't fear the Big Bad Wolf.
If he comes to get you,
Say what he wants to hear,
And if it suits, you get a suit,
And home in time for beer.
Then tell your tale to the meeja.
Add a dash of balderdash.
And don't forget your Dear Old Dad,
When you're doling out the cash.
Louise Rennison
The uproarious books of the Queen
Of Teen,
I mean:
The works of Louise Rennison
Resemble not the poems of Alfred Tennyson.
Young nerds, I fear, may find them slightly menacin',
Not fabbity-fab at all, girltalk about humungous
Nunga-nungas,
Thongs, full-frontal snoggin',
Like being shafted by a pheromone toboggan.
To learn that LURVE IS A MANY-TROUSERED THING
Would scare the pants off a laddish ding-a-ling.
All this
Is too much for me, I need a kiss
And a hug from Nanny,
A wist
Ful tune on a violin and a tryst
With Granny.
Hugh Sawyer
Hugh Sawyer,
Shirking the doom
That awaits the Oxonian lawyer,
Worked in an auction room,
Dapper by day, footwear shining bright,
But for a year he spent each night
Far from the thudding gavel,
In mud and gravel,
Mid creeping things,
With stings,
But Hugh the hunky,
Dark-blue ditch monkey,
Found the embrace of mother bees
A smilier face than SOTHEBY'S.
His cortex,
Weatherproof,
Under a roof
Of GORE-TEX.
Bedded in bracken, unafraid of rust,
Wedded in heart and wallet to the Woodland Trust.
Still game for more,
Hugh Sawyer's off to Ecuador.
Just as soon as he gets his pyjamas on,
He'll be dossing down in the Ama-ZON.
