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A selection of lines from parliamentary sketch-writers.

It was the last Prime Minister's Questions of 2009 with Harriet Harman and William Hague taking centre stage because Gordon Brown was in Copenhagen for the UN climate conference. Commentators noticed an end-of-term buzz among those MPs still in attendance.

that most efforts at humour in the Commons are excruciating for those regular spectators in the gallery:

"This is usually like watching a walrus attempting to tap-dance: you admire the effort rather than the result."

, quoting Harriet Harman's response to a question about her favourite fairy tale when she said there was a need "to avoid the Brothers Grimm" (referring to David Cameron and George Osborne):

"It does not look very amusing in print, nor did it sound very amusing in the Chamber."

that there was one person who certainly was not in the mood for frivolity - an MP well-known for his repartee and witticisms at the dispatch box, the shadow foreign secretary:

"Mr Hague took Miss Harman by surprise - by being completely serious."

that he enjoyed the general air of amusement but notes that it did not go down so well with the Speaker, John Bercow:

"The House was rejoicing - and even the Tories laughing, hell even I was laughing a bit, and the Speaker became extremely authoritative. 'Order, order!' he shouted. 'Good humour is one thing, disorder is another!'

"She was sporting more leopard-skin than a zoo, her boots a desperate cry (miaow?) for attention. Perhaps, like that Pammie Anderson, she feels that she is destined for the stage (Maywatch, not Baywatch)."

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