Sketchup: PMQs 3 March 2010
A selection of lines from parliamentary sketch-writers.
Harriet Harman and William Hague took centre stage for proceedings as the prime minister was meeting South African President Jacob Zuma.
The shadow foreign secretary chose to kick off his set of questions with one on government bonds, a tactic that was a sure-fire way to get the leader of the house in a flurry:
"Finance gets Hattie in a terrible twist. She sounds like a four-year-old explaining space travel to a pretend friend. Jargon and overheard half-concepts are mashed together in a confidently asserted jumble of bilge."
For her part, Ms Harman made sure to bring up the subject of Lord Ashcroft at every opportunity, an approach that increased her confidence against her opponent:
"Harriet Harman saw it as her Boadicea moment. To say that she was on her high horse does not quite capture it - think of the artist Mark Wallinger's plans for a 50-metre white horse in the Thames Estuary and you get the idea."
But, as Ms Harman thought she had the better of her opponent, going for the jugular on the issue of the Tory deputy leader's own integrity regarding the Tory donor, that Mr Hague's mention of her husband's selection as a Labour candidate won the round:
"[I]t's often the way - it's not the big punch that wins but the counterpunch."
It was a particularly raucous PMQs with constant barracking from all sides throughout, regardless of who was speaking. the behaviour of the government backbenchers at one point to "a party of eight-year-old boys given Modern Warfare 2", describing Speaker John Bercow's role in proceedings as "resembling a PE teacher as he begged for order".
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