I try to keep a fairly calm sough, both personally and professionally. (The exception, of course, is while viewing united - although that has become a decidedly less pressurised experience in recent weeks.)
Mostly, I affect an air of gentle Scottish detachment. Think Blandings combined with the Broons.
But, on occasion, the mask slips. On the night of the Scottish elections in May, I was angry. Angry on behalf of the voting public.
What a guddle! They couldn鈥檛 get the postal ballots out in time, the voting papers for Holyrood were so complicated that folk couldn鈥檛 make sense of them - and, if people contrived to overcome these hurdles, then the authorities couldn鈥檛 count the blasted votes with their brand shiny new system.
Well, of course, it was over-egged. And Ron Gould, who conducted a review into the elections, is attempting to maintain whatever the equivalent of a calm sough is in his native Canada. (Given the Caledonian influence, it鈥檚 probably "a calm sough".)
Launching his report, he reminded us that fully 96% of voters managed to surmount the hurdles placed in their way. 鈥淥nly鈥 4% stumbled.
Secondly, he appeared to me somewhat bemused by the extent of the fuss surrounding these elections: demands for judicial review and the rest.
Then again, the vastly experienced Mr Gould has run and supervised elections around the world.
But still one phrase jumps out from Mr Gould鈥檚 excellent and thorough report. The voter, he says, was 鈥渢reated as an afterthought鈥 in planning and organising the May 3 elections.
The prime concern of politicians was . . . politicians. Quite.
And the instant reaction of the political parties? Blame rivals, exonerate themselves.
For any sake, gie鈥檚 peace! Give it a rest. Cease. Desist. Enough.
Yes, Labour Ministers appear primarily culpable. They were in office. At Westminster or Holyrood, their decisions meant the local and Scottish Parliamentary elections were run on the same day, with different voting systems.
Crucially, the UK Ministers also insisted on the regional and constituency Holyrood votes being crammed into a single ballot paper: the key practical problem, according to Gould.
But hang on. The report also criticises the SNP for 鈥渟loganising鈥 (Gould鈥檚 word) on the regional list: setting out their cause as 鈥淎lex Salmond for First Minister鈥, rather than simply using their party name. That was potentially confusing.
And let鈥檚 be blunt. The big parties knew what was happening when the regional and constituency votes were lumped together. It was designed to ditch the Greens and the SSP, to end the impression that the regional vote was a 鈥渟econd choice鈥, a chance to take a risk.
They knew what was happening - and they acquiesced. (Incidentally, it worked.)
Remember, too, the atmosphere in the Holyrood committee which settled the ballot paper for local elections. It was utterly partisan - and the Executive position was defeated.
Remember too the earlier agitation for and against various forms of electoral change. Each and every demand from political parties was informed by partisan interests.
Ron Gould鈥檚 verdict, in an interview with me? They were all at it. All of them.
Ah, but, were Labour most at it? Yes. They were in power, in a position to act. QED.
Well, Scotland collectively can continue to pick over this. Or, as a nation, we can focus now on Gould鈥檚 suggestions for sorting things.
Transfer control to Holyrood, separate the council and Parliamentary elections, put the regional and constituency votes on separate papers, get a single body to take charge.
With any luck, we might regain voter trust in the electoral system. And I can maintain a calm sough at the next elections. Which, if Ron Gould has his way, will be counted the day after polling.
For any sake, gie鈥檚 peace! Give it a rest. Cease. Desist. Enough.