Merry Christmas, and a peace offering
I have never much liked the title of this blog - and know that many of you would nod your heads in even more vigorous agreement had I had omitted the words 'the title of' from that opening sentence.
So, as a Christmas gift - or peace offering - I give you Mark Twain's Australia, Charles Darwin's Australia, Agatha Christie's Australia, along with the thoughts and musings of other literary travellers who have visited the Great Southern Land.
They come in a treasure trove of a book, Brief Encounters by Susannah Fullerton, which is packed with baubles, gems and the occasional brickbat.
Impressed by what they saw and witnessed, most thought that Australia - or the six colonies, as they were then - was a land of rich potential.
Farewell Australia, you are a rising infant and doubtless some day will reign a great princess in the South," wrote Charles Darwin.
"But you are too great and ambitious for affection, yet not great enough for respect; I leave your shores without sorrow or regret."
Afterwards, Darwin revised his opinion, saying that Australia was a "fine country" and likely to become a "very great one".
With great imperial condescension, Anthony Trollope noted: "As a group, they are probably the most important of our colonial possession, and they are certainly the most interesting."
Kipling predicted that Australians "would do wonderful things some day" but were presently too busy having picnics.
Trollope is particularly interesting because he identified early signs of what would come to be known as 'cultural creep'.
"Colonists are usually fond of their adopted homes - but they are at the same time pervaded by a certain sense of inferiority which is for the most part very unnecessary...this feeling produces a reaction which shows itself in boasting of what they can do."
Trollope also spotted the egalitarianism that Australians continue to hold dear, and that was an affront to many visiting Britons. Noticing a self-confident young maid at one of the inns that he stayed at during his travels, he said she "has the pertness, the independence, the mode of asserting her manner that though she brings you up your hotter, she is just as good as you."
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle observed "the perfect equality of the Australian system, which would have the best man at top, be who he might?"
Most of the literary travellers were struck by Australia's happy informality. Kipling spoke of Australia's "leisured multitudes", and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle clearly had a fine old time. "We all devoted ourselves to surf-bathing," he wrote, "spending a good deal of our day in the water as is the custom of the place. It is a real romp with Nature."
By contrast, Agatha Christie remained impressed by the Aussie way, and expressed herself through some of her fictional characters. They thought Australians were "a bit too sociable", "a bit too hospitable for English ideas" and "over friendly".
But many of these visitors were also struck by the cruelty inflicted on indigenous Australians. "Wherever the European has trod, death seems to pursue the aborginal," wrote Darwin. "Their fate is a dark stain upon Australia," wrote Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Many happily weighed in on Australia's great civic rivalry. "When I think of Melbourne, I vomit!" said Robert Louis Stevenson, even though Anthony Trollope looked upon the capital of Victoria as "the undoubted capital" of Australia. Agatha Christie thought Sydney was vastly over-rated - "I had expected too much of it, I suppose," she wrote - but Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had "no idea it was so great a place".
And here's a thought from Rudyard Kipling, which is particularly germane given the discussion on The American in Australia: "This country is American, but remember it is second-hand American."
Charles Darwin spoke of the early obsession with real estate, noting: "Everyone complains of the high rents and difficulty in procuring a house." Rudyard Kipling thought there was "too much politics for a young country," a comment with which some of you might agree.
Most were immediately impressed by the landscape. "I was entranced by landscape coloured as I have never seen landscape coloured before," Agatha Christie rhapsodised. "It is [an] extraordinarily subtle, unknown country. The gum trees are greyish, with pale trunks - and so often the pale, pure silver dead trees with vivid limbs," wrote DH Lawrence.
Trollope reckoned that "Tasmania ought to make jam for all of the world", while Darwin said he drank "some admirable Australian wine" - and that's what I intend to do over the coming couple of weeks.
Whether you find yourself in a snowstorm or near a beach, whether the "white" in "white Christmas" refers to snow or the froth and bubble of the surf, have a super festive period.
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