大象传媒

High-brow theatre it ain't, but when we heard that Puppetry of the Penis was on tour, and dropping into Cambridge to avail us all of their unique brand of entertainment - we just HAD to say hello...

Actors use their voices, their expressions and their entire bodies to transform themselves into a myriad range of characters.

These guys use their boy-bits; their man-parts; their nethers. The bits down below where the sun usually don't shine... except, in the case of Puppetry of the Penis, their unmentionables are in the full glare of theatre lights and projected shamelessly onto the big screen.

Martin (left) and Dan

You know what they're about... you don't need the details of how they manipulate their privates into such well-known monuments as the Eiffel Tower, do you? And you can probably work out for yourself how a man's 'special bits' can be made to resemble a Big Mac... in fact, if you've got the right equipment, you've probably tried that one yourself!

Dan and his dangly bits...

I'm talking to Dan, who's currently taking his tackle on tour with fellow Antipodean, Martin.

Willy or won't he answer my prying, personal questions, I wonder? Willy whip it out and demonstrate his latest unfeasible manly manipulation? Possibly, but he's on the other end of a phone, so I may never know the answer to that one...

The Ancient Art of Genital Origami - as it's become known - apparently requires its practitioners to have incredible stamina. Dan counters that, saying: "It's nothing to do with stamina - more to do with a total lack of shame."

There have, he assures me, been no lasting effects of six years of putting his penis on public display. All that stretching doesn't seem to have made a difference - "It just springs back," he says.

Dan and Martin are always looking for new ideas - and he admits that "sometimes it's a bit like a jam-session. We sit around and say 'What about this', and the other will say, 'Nah, it'd look better like this'".

I challenge them to come up with something local for their Cambridge gig - Ely Cathedral or the Bridge of Sighs, perhaps? Dan promises me they'll take a look at the sights and see what they can do...

Meanwhile, spurred on by naked ambition, the pair will continue to tour their tackle around the country, delighting their squealing audiences (apparently, women are much more likely to cross their legs and squirm than male members (er, sorry...) of the audience!).

And, finally, talking of ambition, had it always been his to make a living from manipulating his genitals in public?

"I'm living the dream," Dan says. "It's every man's dream. I'm travelling the world, playing with myself and getting paid for it. You know? Perfect!"

You can listen to Dan waxing lyrical about his dangly bits by clicking on the link below:

WARNING: Puppetry of the Penis is a non-sexual show featuring full frontal male nudity.