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Find out more about what happens when families change.

Families change all the time. They can get bigger – with new siblings, step-siblings, step-parents or foster siblings. And they can get smaller – when parents separate or divorce, or someone dies. Families can move far away, closer, or even move in with you.

While family changes are normal, it can still be a challenge. It can feel upsetting or unsettling when it happens to you.

Here are a few ways of coping with change in your family...

When things change in your family, chances are there’s not much you can do about it. You can’t stop your parents splitting up, or meeting a new partner. It’s important to remember that when these things happen, it’s about what’s happening between your parents – it’s not your fault. Do not blame yourself.

Try to remember that it’s actually normal for families to change, and it’s OK to feel unsettled, angry or upset about it. Try to remember that while, right now, the change can be upsetting; ultimately it can be a good thing, especially if it makes the people around you happier.

Even though change is normal, it takes time to get used to new things. If you have a new step-parent or step or foster siblings then try not to expect to get on with them straight away. If you move house or school it can be really unsettling. Don’t worry if things don’t come together at once, give yourself space to get used to your new situation. Give everyone (including you) a break and take time out if you need to. Eventually things will settle down.

If you’re confused or worried then don’t keep it to yourself, it’s really important to talk to someone. You might be worried about a parent moving out and when you’re going to see them. Or confused about someone moving in and who’s sleeping where. Asking questions and talking about how you feel will help you to get things into perspective and feel better. If you can’t or don’t want to talk to a parent then speak to your friends or someone you trust.

No matter what changes your family might go through and how you may need to adapt, it’s important to remember that there’s no such thing as a ‘normal’ family. Some families are huge with lots of step-siblings and parents, some have extended family living with them, like grandparents, aunties and uncles. Sometimes it’s just you and a parent. But no matter what form they take, they’re your family so be proud and celebrate your family – whatever size it is.

If you feel unsafe within your family, maybe you feel scared or uncomfortable because of the way a family member acts around you, it’s important to tell someone you trust.

For information about organisations which can offer more advice on a range of issues, check out the advice helplines page.

You can also get more tips in the Lifebabble guide to family, or find out about the Lifebabblers' experiences of change in their families.