Help me out - gangs
Most of us like to spend time with other people, and enjoy hanging out with our friends and family. Some groups can be a really positive part of our lives, while others are not so good for us.
What is a gang?
Lots of people refer to their group of friends as their gang, their crew or their squad.
Being together with your mates can be fun and help build strong friendships which can really support you through good times and bad.
But it’s important to remember that gangs can be positive and negative.
In a positive gang or group –
Friends hang out together and support each other
Other people can join in, and members can leave or spend less time with the group if they want to
Nobody feels pressurised to do anything they don’t want to, or harm anyone else
Everybody in the group generally feels safe and happy
In a negative gang or group –
People are forced to join it, or find it’s difficult to leave
Members are not supposed to have other friendship groups, or feel isolated from their families
There might be an initiation (something a person has to do to become a ‘proper’ member) or strict rules to follow
The group puts pressure on members to do things they know are wrong or illegal, or things they don’t want to do
The group thinks they are better than other people, or do things to hurt or upset people who aren’t part of their gang
Other signs of a friendship gang having a negative influence on your life is if the group argue or bicker a lot, put each other down or make each other unhappy.
If you are in a group of friends who make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, threatened or like you can’t be yourself, it may be time to distance yourself from the group.
Why do people join gangs?
There can be lots of reasons why somebody might join a gang.
A group of friends might naturally hang out a lot and become close, and start to feel like they’re a gang.
However, some people might find they feel forced to join a group, or realise that a group which used to be fun has turned into something more serious.
It may be that an older sibling is already part of a gang, or the people from one street or area are expected to join.
Other people might join gangs or rely on friendship groups more if they are having problems at home and feel like they want to be part of a different kind of family.
Gangs might also say they offer things like protection, safety from other groups or even money (although these might be empty promises).
How can being in a negative gang affect you?
Being part of a negative gang can be harmful for you and others.
All the negative effects can make you feel really down and unhappy – all the things friendship shouldn’t make you feel. You might start to notice you’ve changed; and not for the better. Being in a gang can change you into a different person – and you might find you don’t even like the new you.
You might even find yourself in dangerous situations, or getting into trouble.
Getting out of a gang
It’s really important, if you think you are in a negative gang or you’re being pressured to join one, to find a way out of the situation so you can feel safe and happy.
There are some positive steps you can take –
Talk to a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher about what’s going on
If you feel comfortable, talk to members of the group and explain why you want to leave (you may have other interests, or more responsibilities at school) – you don’t have to fall out or become enemies just because you’re spending less time together
If the group react negatively, don’t feel pressured to stay just to keep them happy – your happiness is important
Try to build new friendships with people outside the group so you have other people you can spend time with
It can be scary and difficult to leave a gang, but you don’t have to do it on your own.
Building positive friendships
Remember that you deserve to have friends who make you feel safe and supported.
You should always feel free to be yourself and not be pressured into doing things which make you feel uncomfortable.
For more advice on coping with peer pressure, check out the Help Me Out – Peer Pressure page, or for help with building positive relationships try the Help Me Out – Relationships page.
For more information about organisations which offer advice and support, check out the Advice Helplines page.