Help me out - living with an illness
Lots of people live with an illness or condition which affects them, or somebody close to them.
What does it mean to live with an illness?
Anybody can be affected by an illness or condition.
It could be a physical or a mental condition, or both; it could be something you can see or something you can’t; it could be something which lasts for a short time or a long time; and some people live with illnesses or conditions their whole life.
In some cases, a person’s illness might mean that their life will be shorter.
Some people find that their illness has a big impact on the things they can and can’t do, while others might not find many differences at all.
How can it affect your life?
Whether it affects you or someone else, living with an illness or condition can have lots of different effects.
You may –
Have to adjust the things you do day-to-day, like the way you get around, the food you eat or the activities you take part in.
Spend time getting treatment (taking medicine, doing exercises or having therapies), at home, at the doctor’s or in a hospital.
Miss out on activities or other things which your friends are doing.
Need to get extra help with school work because you have more things to deal with.
If the illness or condition is something new, it can take time to get used to these adjustments – but whatever they are, there is help and support available.
Caring for someone else
Lots of children and young people care for family members who have an illness or condition. This can be anything from doing chores or looking after siblings, to helping out with medicines or just being there to chat to and make a cup of tea.
These people are called young carers, and they often have a lot of responsibilities to cope with.
There is support available for young carers, through schools or dedicated organisations which can provide help and advice.
If you or someone you know is a young carer, there is more information available in the Help Me Out - Home Responsibilities page.
How can it make you feel?
There is no right or wrong way to feel about living with an illness.
It can depend on what the illness or condition is, how it affects your life, who is affected and how you tend to cope with difficult situations or challenges.
You may feel –
Angry or frustrated – that there are things you have to do or can’t do; or that it’s not fair that you have to deal with the condition when other people don’t.
Confused – if you don’t always understand what’s going on or why.
Stressed – particularly if you have lots of responsibilities, or are looking after someone who is feeling down or stressed out themselves.
Sad or low – as feeling unwell, or seeing someone else unwell, can be upsetting.
Scared or worried – you might worry about what the illness means for you or another person, or what will happen in the future.
Positive – you might be a role model, or be able to help other people who are experiencing the same thing.
Proud – it’s part of who you are.
Not very different – particularly if it’s something you’ve experienced your whole life.
You might have good days and bad days, or feel lots of different positive and negative things at the same time.
If another family member, like a sibling, is affected you might worry a lot about them, or worry that you’ll get less attention at home.
You might worry that if you tell family members when you’re feeling down that you may cause them stress – but keeping it to yourself won’t help in the long run.
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What can you do to cope?
One of the most important things you can do if you are living with an illness or condition is to share how you feel – whether good or bad – with the people you trust, so they can understand what you’re going through.
They might be able to offer practical support, like helping you with activities or treatment, or they might be able to help you get your feelings out.
Sometimes it can be a real relief just to have a chat.
You could talk to a parent, a friend, a teacher or a doctor.
You might also find there are other people who are, or have been, in a similar situation who understand what you’re going through.
Getting more information about the illness or condition can also help you feel more empowered about your situation.
It can also help to focus on other parts of your life – maybe you love music or reading or animals – and spend time doing things which make you happy.
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For more information about organisations which offer advice and support, check out the Advice Helplines page.