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Posted by Eliza Bennet (U2508760) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Elderly Mr Bennet has developed a passion for Lidl since they built one a short walk away from us, and visits regularly, returning with mystifying bargain tinned fruit, random household items made out of plastic and string, and cat treats with ingredients which would probably horrify me if they were not incomprehensible owing to being in Lithuanian and Attic Greek (best guess).
Anyway, before he goes he always does a little twirl and proclaims himself to have turned into "Lidl Man", which is fine(ish) if family members only are present, but causes trauma if performed in front of visitors. His explanation this morning led to confusion as well as trauma, going like so:
"He's my alter ego, you know, like Superman has Ken Clarke."
It took a while both to soothe the bewildered visitor and to persuade EMB that Superman's alter ego was in fact Clark Kent.
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by Campbell in Farewell Clogs (U14226916) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Well I had to read EMB's statement several times before I saw anything wrong with it so I suspect it wouldn't have fased me much. Glad to hear of his joyful Lidlman adventures.
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by ruralsnowflakebliss (U8131914) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Yaaaay... Is it a bird... ? Is it a plane...? No it is Lidlman....!
Go Elderly Mr Bennet go........
Ken Clark... clark Kent... same old same old
Snork!
I am amazed that you hold down a responsible day job when you are surrounded with such surreal events. And have to think laterally to make sense of them, and horrors! To explain them to hapless visitors.
Thanks for making me laugh
Av xxx
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by The Vintneres Driver (U5034590) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
All hail Lidl Man!
I'm afraid if my barmy old ma developed a Lidl habit there'd be a DM inspired diplomatic incident when she realised how many furriners shopped there. Personally I like hearing all the different languages; it's like going on holiday for free!
On the additive front, I find Lidl/Aldi stuff is generally less polluted than the mainsteam supermarket offerings. I haven't eaten the cat food, though.
I like the thought of HushPuppy Man.
Why are (some) people embarrassed about Aldi/Lidl?
The fruit, veg,salad, cheeses and crisps/nuts are really good. I buy their flowers too.
Respeck to EMB - he knows a bargain when he sees one.
Luckily for me, Vints, EMB rather delights in the many furriners and languages, bless him.
I'm liking the sound of Hush Puppy Man, too. Slightly worried that jazz might be involved, mind...
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by plum the depths (U5587356) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
EMB sounds like an absolute poppet.
I'm re watching Brideshead Revisited and my speech is now peppered with 1920s expressions.
Sorry.
But he does sound a scream nevertheless.
, in reply to message 5.
Posted by Cheshire Cat (U14533219) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Please don't tell us that EMB is wearing his underpants over his trousers .....
, in reply to message 7.
Posted by The Vintneres Driver (U5034590) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Slightly worried that jazz might be involved, mind... Could be tricky getting the other customers to applaud at the end of each solo, I imagine.
, in reply to message 8.
Posted by La Min gibbon swinging strumpet draped in black (U12534030) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Having not heard anything about EMB for awhile I was getting a bit concerned and am delighted that he is fit and flitting out to the shop.
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by The final throes of Geek The Amazing Dogboy (U1759005) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
If Superman's alter ego had been Ken Clarke then it would have been a much better disguise than just slapping on a pair of gigs.
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by May_Contain_Nuts (U14871839) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
"He's my alter ego, you know, like Superman has Ken Clarke."Â
So we're looking for a generously proportioned phone box with a faint whiff of cigar smoke about it, with witnesses talking of hearing someone humming "doobedoo-doo baabaa-baaah"
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by Capn Jack Mcferret (U8917649) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Black olives at 59p a jar.
EMB has the right of it.
He may be home soon with a 25l air compressor which is better than my small compressor for £89.99 and less than half wot I paid.
240V petrol generator, German sausage, chain saw, cycling helmets and engine oil.
Cheap cider, scratchy bog rolls at 10 for under 2 quid, lobsters, venison, Euro food, socks, stationary inc hole punches and Prit sticks
Step ladders, angle grinders, frozen prawns that are worth eating, freezed fish, more Pizza than a well bred stick would shake at..
I Heart Lidl.
I Heart Waities too but Lidl is much better.
Embrace your local Lidl, you will love it when you are desperate for some fresh peppers, a chicken, a bicycle pump and a hairdyrer.
Honest.
Cap'n.
and don't forget the lovely German Xmas gingerbreads and Italian panettone.
, in reply to message 15.
Posted by La Min gibbon swinging strumpet draped in black (U12534030) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Extra virgin olive oil, goats cheese and Wasabi crisps.
But where did the Paprika crisps go? < sob >
Our Aldi is all brand spanking new and shiny but doesn't sell bread flour.
I am being worried by thoughts of Hush Puppies and underpants, not good.
, in reply to message 14.
Posted by Auntie Clockwise (U8040384) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Lidl do some biscuits called wafer rolls, which are really nice - wafer rolled up and filled with a hazlenut chocolate cream. Also, OH got a really good microscope for £50 there.
, in reply to message 15.
Posted by The Vintneres Driver (U5034590) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
and don't forget the lovely German Xmas gingerbreads and Italian panettone. I'm surprised there has been no mention of the very reasonably priced 70% cocoa solids choccy. Surely EMB has been pre-programmed to home in on such items of profound interest to Ms Bennet?
, in reply to message 15.
Posted by Lili Bolero and the band played on (U10534540) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Like EMB, I have joined the Aldi-ettes. We have never dined so well for so little. Tuna Steaks, aubergines, free-range eggs at half price - and we kitted EB out for a trip to Norway in December for less than £100.
, in reply to message 15.
Posted by TrailingClouds (U8639576) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Lidl has so many things you didn't know you needed....
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by Wanda_Ofwandas (U2258758) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Right, Eliza. You owe me for an extended course of Very Expensive Counselling. Christopher Reeve of sainted and lustful memory has been forcibly and disturbingly replaced and I want him back. Now.
, in reply to message 20.
Posted by Capn Jack Mcferret (U8917649) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
15/40 engine oil at £9.99, for 5l?
That.s going back 10 years.
Thanks Lidl, makes a person wonder at £20+ for the same at motor factors and even more at Half@rds.
I love the stuff aisles, sanders, power tools, pop rivets etc..
Mind you I would not recommend Aus red at £3.89, it's foul.
, in reply to message 22.
Posted by The Vintneres Driver (U5034590) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Mind you I would not recommend Aus red at £3.89, it's foul. It just needed a 15/40 engine oil chaser, is all.
Lidl has so many things you didn't know you needed.... Â
A wooden bathroom for a dolls' house, nesting serves, a glass flan dish being such examples.
The milk chocolate with whole almonds (200g for 99p) is a marvellous confection.
Snork!
I am amazed that you hold down a responsible day job when you are surrounded with such surreal events. And have to think laterally to make sense of them, and horrors! To explain them to hapless visitors.
Thanks for making me laugh
Av xxxÂ
Snork indeed.
I strongly suspect that it is the surreal nature of life at Pemberley that makes dear Eliza so well able to work with young children - either that or working with young children makes her better able to deal with the surreal nature of life at Pemberley
I thought of you last night Eliza. I was at a New York Red Bulls footie game and among the fans that came up on the scoreboard as having something to celebrate was a young Eliza celebrating her 10th birthday. I smiled at the idea of a young Miss Eliza Bennet celebrating her birthday at anything as raucous and unladylike as a football game
, in reply to message 25.
Posted by politebirder (U4482231) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Lidl has Mozart Balls & other Marzipan-based products.
Really good bread flour.
The best Parmesan cheese; all cheeses are good there.
EMB knows his onions, I reckon.
, in reply to message 25.
Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
You lot are tempting me to visit Lidls. I popped in once years ago but they didn't have anything I needed. I obviously need to change my mind as to what I actually need!
, in reply to message 26.
Posted by Campbell in Farewell Clogs (U14226916) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
they also have bags of individually wrapped wee chocolate-filled croissants - 10 seconds in the magnetron, instant yumminess.
, in reply to message 27.
Posted by Campbell in Farewell Clogs (U14226916) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
'If a man is tired of Lidl he is tired of life itself.'
, in reply to message 27.
Posted by The Vintneres Driver (U5034590) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
I obviously need to change my mind as to what I actually need! You've been doing it wrong. You need to go into Lidl with a blank mind. What *need* will become apparent, when you see it!
, in reply to message 30.
Posted by Eliza Bennet (U2508760) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Absolutely true, Vints. Lidl requires a very different mindset from the average ordinary supermarket. You don't want to head for Lidl with a shopping list or indeed any plan of action. You enter a Lidl with a completely open mind so you can delight in its myriad wonders. Who's going to put Eruption aftershave on a shopping list? And yet...and yet...when you see it there, on the shelf...you know you must make it yours. Or, more specifically, someone else's (generally whoever you get in the draw for Secret Santa at work; which is, incidentally, a surreal experience in itself).
, in reply to message 30.
Posted by Sister Primrose of the Red Tinsel Flag (U5405579) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
Many years ago, after a summer holiday the kids spent ingesting a Spanish version of Kinder eggs in order to get the little plastic HamHam* toys inside them, I found a HamHam house in Lidl for £7.99.
According to Girly, it was the best Christmas present ever.
PP
*HamHams were character hamster toys, about an inch tall. There were something like 30 of them, we had several duplicates of Pashmina and Hamtara but never had the whole set.
, in reply to message 32.
Posted by DeeKay Bee - Disenfranchised (U236881) on Sunday, 16th September 2012
I miss Netto. We have Lidl and Aldi, which are fine, but Netto used to get stuff that didn't appear in the other two.
, in reply to message 33.
Posted by Lili Bolero and the band played on (U10534540) on Monday, 17th September 2012
Netto is alive and well and living in France, DKB! I have got some fabulous Netto handcream which I bought a couple of months ago.
, in reply to message 34.
Posted by DeeKay Bee - Disenfranchised (U236881) on Monday, 17th September 2012
Sigh
Netto UK was sold to Asda, we already had an Asda so it's not like we gained anything other than another, smaller, Asda (if it's still there, I haven't been that way recently).
My Lidl favourite buys -
Jars of antipasto - onions, artichoke hearts, mushrooms,grilled aubergines (a bit tough, those) and courgettes.
Dried porcini mushrooms
Their veg are very good
Q10 night cream
A hoist
An angle grinder
, in reply to message 35.
Posted by Lili Bolero and the band played on (U10534540) on Monday, 17th September 2012
Oh, I didn't know that. I had never seen a Netto in the UK, but that's probably because I've always lived south and west. We've only recently been introduced to the 'delights' of Asda. I think I've only been there twice.
Lidl, latest offers. We have a Lidl about half a mile from us.
, in reply to message 37.
Posted by Surabaya Johnny (U1163609) on Monday, 17th September 2012
Lidl's chocolate is excellent. We go there every couple of months to stock up on it, plus a few other things we can't get at our local small supermarket.
, in reply to message 38.
Posted by wycombewanderer (U3114853) on Monday, 17th September 2012
There's one about 10km from here and it takes the shopping experience to whole new depths.
Disinterested staff useless management, non existent customer service it really is an advert for how not to do retail.
, in reply to message 40.
Posted by Surabaya Johnny (U1163609) on Monday, 17th September 2012
There's one about 10km from here and it takes the shopping experience to whole new depths.
Disinterested staff useless management, non existent customer service it really is an advert for how not to do retail.Â
Oh, that's a shame. The staff at ours are usually very pleasant.
There's one about 10km from here and it takes the shopping experience to whole new depths.
Disinterested staff useless management, non existent customer service it really is an advert for how not to do retail.Â
You have to take them as you find them. They provide very good products very cheaply, that's what they do and all that they do. You're not paying enough for a pleasant shopping experience.
, in reply to message 40.
Posted by DeeKay Bee - Disenfranchised (U236881) on Monday, 17th September 2012
< Disinterested staff useless management, non existent customer service it really is an advert for how not to do retail >
Staff at both local Lidl and Aldi are fine, they're much busier than the staff in the usual supermarkets so you might have to wait at the till as the operator is also stacking shelves but they're pleasant enough. One advantage to them being so busy is that you don't get gaggles of them stood round chatting like in the other supermarkets, I suspect that if you got the total staff together you'd be hard pressed to have enough for a gaggle....
, in reply to message 42.
Posted by wycombewanderer (U3114853) on Monday, 17th September 2012
I realise by keeping staffnumbers down they cut costs, but when they walk away from the till when it is obvious that you are heading for it and then leave it empty until the queue is long enough to warrant going back, that is unacceptable.
I've walked out a number of times and left a trolley full of shopping on the counter, if it can't be sold or they have to put it back on the selves themselves that's their problem
, in reply to message 43.
Posted by Lili Bolero and the band played on (U10534540) on Monday, 17th September 2012
I agree that our local Aldi seems to run on a staff of about 4, yet amazingly we never seem to have to queue for ages at the checkout, and they are always very polite. Quite different from Tosco, where we are continuously harranged to use the self-service till. No, ta. I am not being paid to be your employee.
, in reply to message 17.
Posted by Rwth of the Cornovii (U2570790) on Monday, 17th September 2012
I got a decent pair of binoculars for £7 in Aldi. Nothing exciting, just 8 x 25, but OK to keep in the car and wouldn't mind being stolen. But they wouldn't be of course. I'm looking for game and big poultry to put in the Deep freeze. I seem to remember that goose is pretty good value, not to mention moules marinieres. My jury is still out on stollen, having tried mini ones, and not wanting to risk a big, although probably much better quality.
Dark chocolate with hazelnuts is a favourite, but what I find offputting is that I can't find specifics easily. I haven't got a mind map of their stores, but it's the same with Home Bargains. You'd think Retail sales tricks would virtually guarantee that you'd find the same things in any shop in more or less the same places.
Going along the shelves above the freezers gleaned a jar of black cherries, which I never used. I liked the shape of the jar though. Just the thing for cotton balls in the bedroom/bathroom.
, in reply to message 46.
Posted by Campbell in Farewell Clogs (U14226916) on Monday, 17th September 2012
>>>I got a decent pair of binoculars for £7 in Aldi. Nothing exciting, just 8 x 25, but OK to keep in the car and wouldn't mind being stolen. But they wouldn't be of course. I'm looking for game and big poultry to put in the Deep freeze.<<<
ooh Rwth, for a wee minute there I thought you were using the binoculars to spot 'game and big poultry' and imagined you in your car with a shotgun...
, in reply to message 47.
Posted by My Mum is turning in her grave (U13137565) on Monday, 17th September 2012
Stollen from Aldi/Lidl is far better than any you'll find in any other supermarket but I agree about mini stollen (from anywhere)
, in reply to message 40.
Posted by The Vintneres Driver (U5034590) on Monday, 17th September 2012
Disinterested staff useless management, non existent customer service it really is an advert for how not to do retail. Not a reflection of your own sense of self-importance, then?
Their olive spread is nicer than a certain branded type.
Grated cheese,
creme fraiche,
mackerel fillets,
eggs,
UHT milk,
breadmaking machine (we have had about 2 of these)
batteries,
tomato pasta sauce
curry sauce.
Don't bother buying a pressure washer though, it is about the one thing from Lidl that never really worked properly.
Dishwasher tablets.
Can you tell I am a regular at Lidl?
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