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Teddy bears need love.
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Message 1.Ìý
Posted by Mermaid the Knitter and Bear Restorer (U15064923) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I've been discussing bears with a friend and had some thoughts.
I went to a toy fair some years ago where they were selling all old toys, no modern stuff at all, and I really felt for the very old but immaculate bears I saw. Either their owner hadn't loved them, or the owner hadn't been allowed to love them for fear of spoiling them.
Bears should have buttons for eyes if previous ones have been lost, bald patches on their fur, half an ear (the other half perhaps chewed away), peculiar shapes because stuffing has come out, strange stitching where they've been inexpertly but lovingly mended. -
Message 2
Posted by Prinkma (U14661090) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I'm completely unable to get my head around the idea of loving teddy bears or dolls or anything like that. The sight of an adult with a teddy bear from childhood makes me think that that person is in a state of arrested development.
**retires to corner using a cushion as a shield** -
Message 3
Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Oh I don't think a cushion will be big enough Prinkma ; )
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Message 4
Posted by Mermaid the Knitter and Bear Restorer (U15064923) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I haven't actually got my favourite childhood teddy any more.
It was my brother's and I adopted it (he's 8 years older than I am)
So a few years ago I gave it back to him and it's been sitting halfway up the stairs on the little landing where the staircase turns together with his wife's little dog from her childhood. Wife is 68, brother is 73.
But I have a few other bears that have come to me in more recent years. -
Message 5
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Absolutely spot on, Mermaid - I pity those without souls who don't understand bears etc.
Staunch friends throughout childhood - they deserve great respect in their older years.
Good to know there are arctophiles out there : ) -
Message 6
Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Here's mine:
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Message 7
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Toffee looks a very fine bear and is very like my Dr Edward Bear, BB.
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Message 8
Posted by Ell Kaye (U2222944) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I'm completely unable to get my head around the idea of loving teddy bears or dolls or anything like that. The sight of an adult with a teddy bear from childhood makes me think that that person is in a state of arrested development.
**retires to corner using a cushion as a shield**Ìý
Yes, I always thought that cars & trains were far more exciting, doll & teddies just sat there...I got quite excited when J bought me a Furby...because it talked & moved...the novelty soon wore off...
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Message 9
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Here is Edward - he was given a bit of a make over for my 60th birthday present, and I knitted him some clothes.
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Message 10
Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Sadly Edward is not showing up Auntie.
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Message 11
Posted by Ell Kaye (U2222944) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Sorry Auntie Prue, I was deeply unimpressed as a very small child...I left my teddy out overnight & it rained & the sawdust in his tummy swelled ....& burst....My mum was cross... I didn't care...
The dolls I had....two iirc... I took apart to see how they worked, I was accused of being ungrateful & destructive....I think I should have been nurtured to be an engineer...
Oh & why was I supposed to make clothes fro them....how would they know? -
Message 12
Posted by Mermaid the Knitter and Bear Restorer (U15064923) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Edward appears to be a polar bear well camouflaged in the snow.
I wasn't keen on dolls, loved my Lotts Building bricks, but needed Bigun (the teddy) to cuddle up to in bed every night.
He's stuffed with straw. My mother won him at the fair in 1939.
There's nothing wrong with having a soft cuddly friend when an adult. Some people find them a great comfort in times of stress as I well know. -
Message 13
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
oh dear : (
It works from here. Not sure how to rejig it. -
Message 14
Posted by JudithL (U14272244) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Are you sure you're not me?
I find it so difficult to get rid of cuddly toys, especially bears, and I too feel so sorry for bears that aren't loved.
Mine have been loved so much that they're terribly tatty now: I did some restoration work on the Biggy, who used to belong to my Mum. He now has better stuffing to "help" the original straw, and I gave him new eyes and knitted him a smart suit.
My own bear, Edwina, had to be repaired many many years ago after my dog, in a fit of jealousy, chewed her in the car as we came home from holiday. Mum had to do a repair with stockinette before I would go to bed! She still wears the blue satin dress that Mum made for her many years ago. -
Message 15
Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Maybe it is aprivate picture Auntie, ieyou can see it but we can't. There is probably a button somewhere that changes the availability of use. I don't use Picasa so can't help.
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Message 16
Posted by sweet-rocket (U11357111) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I'm completely unable to get my head around the idea of loving teddy bears or dolls or anything like that.Ìý
You are me etc. As to the concept of teddy bears 'needing' love - how does that work? I can just about understand a sentimental attachment to a childhood toy or book, but not to soft toys or dolls in general. I'd like a doll's house though because I'm drawn to miniatures. -
Message 17
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
another go
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Message 18
Posted by auldhairy (U14258268) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
No teddy bear but I have a Poo bear and a crocodile.
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Message 19
Posted by Prof Bear (U2369922) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Briefly popping my head round to door to send greetings to all those who understand us bears.
My chap would have been miserable, sent away to boarding school aged 7, without his bear, Bruni to tell all his troubles to in the holidays. It wasn't the done thing to take your bear to school more's the pity.
I was a gift to him from his A level philosophy students - I think he must have taught them very well : )
[waves goodbye] -
Message 20
Posted by Spartacus (U14762542) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Sounds a bit like poor scruffy faded ol' Ted wot used to be pink but is only so in his crevices now. When I first had him he was almost the same size as me.
If I can find it I will bring the double portrait of ted and I from then with me on the 23rd and you can laff at me short fat feet! They're not much different now actually... -
Message 21
Posted by welshteddy (U3680635) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Teddys certainly do need love and, as far as this one is concerned, are very partial to chocolate and marzipan.
As for not knowing if about clothes - well purleese! I'll have you know that we dress in the height of fashion at Teddy Towers - well, the stuff that fits over our fur anyway. -
Message 22
Posted by Mermaid the Knitter and Bear Restorer (U15064923) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Helen - does he need feeding up?
I take Mousie food to feed Merbaby's mousie when we visit, and I'm bringing Teddy food to Birmingham for a special Teddy. If yours isn't too big, I can feed him as well. -
Message 23
Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
another go
Ìý A very smart bear Auntie. -
Message 24
Posted by Spartacus (U14762542) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Nah, Ted doesn't need feeding up - he's about as fat as me; there have been times when he was much fatter than me; though I was fatter as a baby....
Funny thing - people have mentioned dolls. I never had any interest whatsoever in them but Ted was not like a doll. He was the friend in whom I could safely confide as a child and felt more like a person than a toy.
Actually come to think of it he has been the one constant in my entire life - he has always sat in my bedroom (wherever I have lived) and watched over me as I slept.
Poor soul could do with a good wash again but the weather this year has been abysmal so he didn't get one. -
Message 25
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
another go
Ìý A very smart bear Auntie.Ìý I took your advice and found the first one was locked! -
Message 26
Posted by welshteddy (U3680635) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Funny thing - people have mentioned dolls. I never had any interest whatsoever in them but Ted was not like a doll. He was the friend in whom I could safely confide as a child and felt more like a person than a toy.
Actually come to think of it he has been the one constant in my entire life - he has always sat in my bedroom (wherever I have lived) and watched over me as I slept.
Ìý
Ooh, Helen, I think you are me! -
Message 27
Posted by Spartacus (U14762542) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
That could get confusing!
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Message 28
Posted by Gayer-Anderson Cat (U13637930) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I still cherish my bear (Truffles) who was a gift from my godmother at my first Christmas, although he is actually older than me.
I am also a teddy bear collector, with something over a hundred bears in my hug, so expensive, some car boot buys, but all with one thing in common: they /wanted/ to come home with me. And that's how you sort out the bear lovers from the rest of the world: bear lovers will nod in agreement and understanding, and everybody else smiles nervously and sidles away.
G-AC -
Message 29
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U14258963) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I have a teddy bear that I bought when grown up. When I'm not coping very well, he travels in my backpack. If I'm not coping at all, I cuddle him. Sometimes people give me funny looks, but stuff them. If cuddling my teddy bear on the bus helps me to get from A to B, then I'll cuddle my teddy bear.
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Message 30
Posted by Gayer-Anderson Cat (U13637930) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Sunny, I have a small bear who lives in my handbag. His name is Bracknell...
I have a friend aged 80 who insists on being formally introduced to each new bear I acquire. She then travels to wherever we are going with the bear sitting on her knee in the front seat of the car. She talks to them as well. We both understand where you are coming from.
G-AC -
Message 31
Posted by Finally (U2221028) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
In his speech at our wedding, my husbend mentioned his trepidation at the effects to be expected from being loved by me, going by the gimpse he had once had of the state of my bear, Teddy, currently in the attic. While i joined in the laughter at the joke, I was genuinely surprised when i got back to have a good look at Teddy, since I hadn't noticed that he had lost his fur, bits of his ears and his most of his shape.
Who cares, hugs is hugs. F. xx -
Message 32
Posted by JennyDarling Long Gone (U250754) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I'm completely unable to get my head around the idea of loving teddy bears or dolls or anything like that. The sight of an adult with a teddy bear from childhood makes me think that that person is in a state of arrested development.
**retires to corner using a cushion as a shield**Ìý Well our teddy bears are not from our childhood, but acquired at various times - Timmy Torquay came from....guess where? back in the early 80s, a second hand type shop. He is unconventional with arms that stick out and his nose is upside down. Scrab came from a club raffle table - his head is nearly off due to my OH driving over him in his wheelchair (head secured now by safety pin with a natty scarf), and recently, Bjorn (or Sid as OH calls him) came from Ikea, he just yearned to be put in my basket.
We do not cuddle them in bed, they sit in a tissue box which is their boat - they take turns to be cox - and in the morning they have conversations with us. They all have very high voices. -
Message 33
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
Oh no, JD. We have two mice, three penguins, a bat, a tortoise and a piglet who live in a boat tissue box!
The bears live on a chair in the hall by the front door.
I even have my mother's old bear, who is very small, but highly respected by the others -
Message 34
Posted by Abberley (U14872426) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
I have Barnabas, who was given to me when I was 20. I had various animals before then, but they all had hard noses or were quite small and were not thoroughly cuddlable, but very playable-with for teddy tea parties etc. They had very exciting imaginary lives when I was small. But Barnabas is soft and squishy and just the right size.
Barnabas came to me at a time when I really needed him, and he has done sterling work providing hugs during recent upsets. I do not care if anyone thinks I have arrested development. I have a bear, so nyer. -
Message 35
Posted by Campbell in Farewell Clogs (U14226916) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
**retires to corner using a cushion as a shield**
I'll come and join you in the 'soulless' corner behind the cushion Prinkma. I think we'll be safe enough as the bearloving folk are mostly politely ignoring you up till now. -
Message 36
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U14258963) on Sunday, 14th October 2012
For me, it's a combination of things...
1. It's like a mirror. You hug something and love it and the hugs and love come back at you.
2. It's a substitute. We don't all have someone handy to love us. I try to hug my father and brother but they can't cope with physical contact so they recoil, and I don't have a husband or children, so it's down to my cat, my hot water bottle and my teddy bear.
3. In a broader sense, some of us anthropomorphise a lot. Let me give an example. When I learnt to drive in the army, they gave me flow diagrams to learn and they meant absolutely nothing to me. All gobbledygook about high tension and low tension blah-de-blah. But I knew when my engine was unhappy and I knew how to make it happy. I knew when it was hungry or too hot or coughing or being incontinent. I never did work out what anything was called. I remember going into a scrap yard and saying I wanted the big solid metal thing under the bonnet that went on top of the things that went up and down and could I have a cardboardy thing and some gooey stuff please. My car was happy after I'd done that.
Well, I'm happy to anthropomorphise a teddy bear, too. If I want to think of a furry thing snuggling up to me and being understanding when I cry on it and hugging me back when I squeeze it, then so what? -
Message 37
Posted by Rwth of the Cornovii (U2570790) on Monday, 15th October 2012
DD had a pink ted, about whom she had a revelation at age 8 when she came home from her grandmother's to find I had washed all her teddies and dried them. She said "I've just realised that Pink Ted is a girl!" and Pink Ted was named Edwina from then on. She had had her since infancy, but Blue Ted didn't survive. I found him a couple of years after she left home with his stuffing totally deteriorated and turned to dust. Edwina lives with her and her family somewhere in Kent. I know, but I'm not telling. Orinoco still lives with me, minus his hat and scarf, but I know he's Orinoco.
I agree that they need loving. I never had any as a child, and my first one came with several rolls of Anaglypta. I have several of various sizes, but all small. I put them all in a washing net and gave them a turn in the gentle wash. They came out looking a bit dazed but nice and fresh. I'll post a picture of them when I've cleaned the sitting room. They like it there because of the books. Great readers, all of them. -
Message 38
Posted by Ginslinger Redux (U14830013) on Monday, 15th October 2012
James. Who is a repository of love and a unending source of comfort. Who likes an outing now and then but hates getting wet. There are other bears but James is THE bear,.... and you will either understand or like my Aunt tell me to grow up. I don't care....
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Message 39
Posted by Finally (U2221028) on Monday, 15th October 2012
Thank you Sunny, for articulating exactly what I think, but was struggling to express. Thanks, F. xx
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Message 40
Posted by sweet-rocket (U11357111) on Monday, 15th October 2012
Of course I have no objection to people having relationships with their teddies, but it's not my cup of tea or a facet of my personality. That doesn't make me wrong or right, just different. I do draw the line at 'teddies need love' though because that's just not true. People need love and to express love, maybe.
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Message 41
Posted by Prinkma (U14661090) on Monday, 15th October 2012
If I want to think of a furry thing snuggling up to me and being understanding when I cry on it and hugging me back when I squeeze it, then so what? Ìý
Now we're getting somewhere - I feel the same way about dogs. Anything that helps you cope.
I guess I just always saw dolls and teddies as being twee! Never had one, my children never had one - they each very briefly had Barbys or Cindys that finished up limbless and naked buried in sand or kicked around the lawn. -
Message 42
Posted by The final throes of Geek The Amazing Dogboy (U1759005) on Monday, 15th October 2012
Either their owner hadn't loved them, or the owner hadn't been allowed to love them for fear of spoiling them. Ìý
This is why adults shouldn't be allowed ownership of bears. They foolishly thinki that monetary value is somehow important and they must be kept as new, untouched and pristine. The real value of bears, of course, cannot be truly calculated.
Any attempt to come up with a bears value would need to take in to account of the amount of hugs received and given, the number of adventures that they have been, the sage advice they have provided and the amount of times they've safetly guarded children from monsters and gremlins. -
Message 43
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Monday, 15th October 2012
Exactly. I could never sell my bear for those very reasons.
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Message 44
Posted by Ell Kaye (U2222944) on Monday, 15th October 2012
Any attempt to come up with a bears value would need to take in to account of the amount of hugs received and given, the number of adventures that they have been, the sage advice they have provided and the amount of times they've safetly guarded children from monsters and gremlins.Ìý
How does a stuffed inanimate object give hugs, advice & guard from anything? Nobody really believes this past the age of 4... do they??
A friends son was horrified when mum packed up all his soft toys into a black bag,.... because they'd suffocate!? They can't & don't breath... -
Message 45
Posted by Spartacus (U14762542) on Monday, 15th October 2012
Teddies have absolutely nothing in common with dolls and should not be classed together. Barbie and Cindy dolls are an abomination in my view - horrible things.
If anything, a teddy is akin to a dog or a cat in psychological terms. I can't imagine a child confiding his or her woes to a doll (and most certainly not to Barbie or Cindy) in the way they do with teddies - and once a teddy has been your friend throughout childhood and knows all your secrets... -
Message 46
Posted by Mermaid the Knitter and Bear Restorer (U15064923) on Monday, 15th October 2012
So true!
Although it doesn't apply to all adults, as we have seen here.
I knit little teddy bears and will very happily send one to anyone who would like one for themselves, a child or adult of any age. (Has Geeklet got one?) -
Message 47
Posted by The final throes of Geek The Amazing Dogboy (U1759005) on Monday, 15th October 2012
I knit little teddy bears and will very happily send one to anyone who would like one for themselves, a child or adult of any age. (Has Geeklet got one?) Ìý
He has some cuddly toys but as yet he does not have a special bear. When he is a little older we shall go a on a bear hunt to find one. He has taken rather a shine to fabric dog doorstop which he has long conversations with. -
Message 48
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Monday, 15th October 2012
We were lucky to be allowed to purchase our grandchildren's "first bear".
Interestingly, it is the boys who are inseparable from them - the girls love them, but they take their place amongst other creatures, eg pigs, dragons - the usual things.
EL Kaye - I am surprised at you - of course they breath, and live!
I know that you have creatures - they may not be bears, but they still count!
I shiver with horror when I think of the old days of scarlet fever, which was much more serious than it is now. All soft toys had to be burnt afterwards.
Anyone read The Velveteen Rabbit? -
Message 49
Posted by Ell Kaye (U2222944) on Monday, 15th October 2012
EL Kaye - I am surprised at you - of course they breath, and live!
I know that you have creatures - they may not be bears, but they still count!Ìý
Yes I have mustid peep & a hero tortoise, both live in the car...peep sits on top of the rear view mirror & hero sits in the little well on the dashboard guarding the loose change for the car park...
That's it. -
Message 50
Posted by Spartacus (U14762542) on Monday, 15th October 2012
hero sits in the little well on the dashboard guarding the loose change for the car park...Ìý
Doesn't that rather contradict what you said in post 44?
How does a stuffed inanimate object give hugs, advice & guard from anything? Nobody really believes this past the age of 4... do they??Ìý
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