大象传媒

"I am a nobody," whines newcomer David Raymond, who stars in London-based romance Heroes & Villains. He's right, but it's his own fault for writing such a shallow script. There are few clues about what drives his character Jack, before he suddenly decides to set up an agency to entrap cheating lovers. We only know that Jack is a bit cynical about relationships, which threatens his chances with Hannah (Jenna Harrison) who, incidentally, also lacks a personality.

Later, it becomes apparent that Jack's mother (Jenny Agutter) cheated on his father, but the revelation brings little depth to the story. That's partly because every major turn of the plot rings false, from Jack setting up the agency, based on a simplistic desire to be "a somebody", to the drawn-out finale where he gets all touchy feely while dressed up as Mel Gibson in Braveheart...

At this point it's difficult to distinguish whether we're supposed to be laughing or crying, but there can be no doubting the tears of boredom. Elsewhere, there are numbingly obvious stabs at comedy, clumsily inserted between scenes of overblown melodrama. One minute, Jack is being mistaken for a porno king while on a date with Hannah, and the next, he's grappling with the agonisingly mundane vicissitudes of his parents' marriage.

"DREARY DIALOGUE AND INSIPID ROMANTIC LEADS"

It's roughly patched together by producer-turned-director Selwyn Roberts, and the faults are underlined by explanatory voiceover. All this, added to dreary dialogue and a total lack of chemistry between insipid romantic leads, is enough to make you lose your faith in love and British filmmaking.