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This story took place during my service in Sollum, Egypt, guarding Italian POWs.

One day we were down the cliff to the sea and were having a swim when we noticed an all-white ship with a big red cross on the side.
'Bet that’s a hospital ship Fred,' said one bloke.
'Shouldn’t wonder since it’s gor a big red cross on it,' replied Fred. Then God must have turned the ignition key in his brain because suddenly his face lit up and he blurted out, 'I bet they got fags on there,' and he pointed to the ship.
'Yea well, they allus do carry everyfing on a boat like that,' added the bloke. 'They got to go a long way sometimes an it wouldn’t do to run out of supplies in the middle of the sea. Naw wot ah meen?'
'Yea, ah suppose,' agreed Fred. Then he followed with, 'How about if we get our raft and paddle out to the boat and tell em we ain’t got no fags?'
'I reckon they would frow us a box o’ fags if we tells em we is desperit fer a smoke.'
'Hey, that’s not a bad idea Fred!'

Fred beamed and untied the raft that was a triangle of planks with an oil drum at the three points and two planks through the middle. (Because there were no civilians at Sollum and because of interruptions by bombing things were a bit slack - maybe 'relaxed' would be a better word.) So we wore nothing at all when we went for a dip in the sea - soldiers all have the same equipment — and we enjoyed the complete freedom of nature. But the two lads, paddling like Hiawather [sic] and his mate, did not realise until they were close to the ship that there were about 20 giggling young nurses lining the rail, pointing and laughing. Some had binoculars and were almost hysterical.

We saw the humour of the situation and had a laugh as our heroes suddenly jumped into the water and, franticly swimming, pushed the raft back the way they had come. As they clambered up onto the warm rocks of the beach, Fred muttered, 'They can stuff their bloody fags.'

2982252 Pte Barker T.O. 1st Bn Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders

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