大象传媒

A letter from Ado -
鈥淚n the middle of September somebody brought a letter from Ado! He was in Naugard and he was alive but unable to come to us. It contained the wonderful news that Maria, Gerhard, Mona and Atti were safe together in Gottingen. My mother wept and I cried too, we hugged each other and found it hard to believe that they were alive and that life was going on peacefully in 鈥榯he west鈥�. It had taken Ado quite a long time and a lot of persuasion and ingenuity to get some papers from the British occupation army, which were meant to help to come to us. At first the papers allowed him to cross the Oder, but as he walked towards Naugard and was only about 25Km from Vahnerow, he was stopped by some Poles who beat him up savagely and threw him into a cellar in Naugard. He slowly recovered from his injuries. He thought that he had a fractured skull and other injuries, and he said that lying there in the dark for several days probably saved his life. He joined another group of German men who had been caught as they had tried to get to the west. A dozen or more sat there, bored, hungry and depressed. Ado asked for some paper to draw plans about the changes he would make in the house in Vahnerrow. When a Pole asked him if he was an architect, he said he was. Then he asked if he could design and build a memorial? He said that luckily all the men were stonemasons and builders 鈥� which was not true 鈥� and that he would need them all to build this monument. Then all the men came out of prison. They built a cement block around a memorial for Schill who had been a freedom fighter in the Napoleonic wars and for whom an iron statue was erected in the middle of Naugard. First they covered Schill completely with thick grease and then they built up the cement around him. They left a hole or two at the bottom so that the cement could be blown off one day and still would emerge unharmed, once the land was Germany again. They made a plaque and copied Polish lettering which said something about reconquering Polish land, but because none of them knew Polish, they made a mistake, which they had to cover up with a chiselled laurel branch. This memorial is still there today 鈥� to my mind it is a memorial to Ado and the men who helped him.鈥�

鈥淎do said that he would come to us as soon as possible. He was still a prisoner. I told him, when I walked to see him, that the atmosphere at home was getting worse and that on no account was he to come yet. He would not be safe. He was anxious that our mother and I should leave and go to the west. He had agreed with Gerhard and the sisters that he would come and fetch us. I remember saying to him, 鈥業 do not want to go to the west, what should I do there? I do not belong to a 鈥榥ormal life any more鈥�. He smiled and said that I would be alright, given time. But I was so conscious of my appearance in my father鈥檚 boots, the French men鈥檚 trousers and the old jacket from the attic.鈥�

One Vast Prison 鈥�

鈥淢y mother often said that we were living in a big prison, all the land occupied by the Russians was just one vast prison for us Germans. It was confirmed that our area would become part of Poland. I could not imagine it at all. The Poles seemed to me even more sinister than the Russians.鈥�

鈥淥f course my mother and I talked about the future and how long it would be before we could all be together again in Vahnerow. She thought that we might have to opt for the Polish nationality in order to be allowed to stay, in the same way, as the Germans had been able to stay in the 鈥楰orridor鈥�, the area between Pomerania and East Prussia, which had been given to Poland in the treaty of Versailles in 1918. I had been in Altenburg with several girls from that area and they had been allowed to keep their estates and businesses once they had accepted the Polish nationality. We now know from Ado that the Allies had promised our part of Germany to Poland at the Conference of Yalta in 1944, yet I still could not believe that this would become a reality. But Ado kept saying it and he had told us that Germany had been divided into four zones and that Gottengen was in the British zone. He also confirmed that the war had ended on May 8th, so the leaflets in the Sellin had been truthful after all.鈥�

鈥淚 went to see Ilse and Renate once more before they left to go westwards.鈥�

鈥淚t happened when I was in the kitchen on December 6th. My mother came down to fetch me; with her was a Pole I had not seen before. She said something about 鈥榯hings are getting bad鈥�. As we went upstairs I was followed by my mother when the Pole who came up behind me hit my legs with his whip. We had to go into the now empty bedroom where 鈥榦ur鈥� commandant and some very frightening militiamen stood. They wanted to know where we had hidden the radio? We said that our radio had been taken away by the first Russians in March. They told me to leave the room, but I wanted to stay with my mother and I said so. They started to shout at me to go. We were told to put our things into a basket, because we would have to leave the house now, 鈥榝ive minutes!鈥� Fraulein Noack shook with terror and did not dare to pull her precious stamp collection out from under the bed. I threw clothing into the basket.鈥�

鈥淭he man took us to the far end of the village to one of our families. Voigts were the parents of the unfortunate poor Alma, who had never come back from the horse trek. There we were told to stay and the old couple made room for us in their little bedchamber. It was very cold. Freulein Noack wept and signed a lot, now she had nothing and how was she to go on? Without her stamp collection she had nothing. I had promised I would not leave our mother, and here I was without her. She had always been ready to help, she had cared for everybody and anybody, encouraging and protecting me, strengthened by the conviction that by our staying on, come what may, we would save Vahnerow for us and for our people in the village. All that certainty seemed to have left her this morning and I shall never forget the terror in her eyes.鈥�

鈥淭he next evening I secretly went back to the house in the dark, where I met Karl, the young boy who lived with the Poles. I learned that my mother had been taken away. Early next morning I went back, to see if I could take away a few things. I did not tell him that I was going to look for the stamp collection so that I could be rid of Fraulein Noaks.鈥�

鈥淎s all the locks were still broken, I had no difficulties getting in as soon as dawn had broken. Our three rooms were in complete chaos. Everything had been thrown about, the floors were covered with papers, and books, clothing, and the drawers were pulled out and lay around empty. Our hitherto safe 鈥榙ungeon鈥� had been opened and all the things had been brought up and thrown about. I was amazed at the quantity of stuff we had put in there over the past months. Everything we had thought worth saving, we had dropped down there. My poor brave watchman kept urging me to hurry up, he was more frightened than I was, while I stuffed things into the cover with the eiderdown, even my mother鈥檚 fur coat and some clothes for her. I flung the big bundle over my shoulder, clutching a pot of lard to my chest and ran down the backstairs and slipped out of the house. Fraulein Noack was devastated that I came back without her stamps. She decided to leave immediately and try to walk to the west, with everything she owned in a very small suitcase. I was greatly relieved to see her go.鈥�

鈥淚 asked Buth if I could stay in their house next to the garden and nearer our house. She was frightened to shelter me but gave me her front room, which had a stove and was warm. It was very cold outside and in the nights we had sharp frosts.鈥�

鈥淚 had just about established myself, when Ado suddenly stood in the doorway! He had a Polish permit in his hand. Our Pole with the whip would have loved to arrest Ado, but the permit had been written by militia in Naugard, and the militia was feared even by the Poles. I told Ado about Mama鈥檚 arrest and he decided to go to Trieglaff at once. The prison of the militia was there. I had no idea whether she was there or whether she was still alive. He said that first we had to go to the house to look for papers relating to Vaherow and insurances, shares etc., which Mona and Atti had not brought with them and which were very important. So we went together, up the backstairs. Ado was visibly shocked to see our house. He had last seen it almost a year earlier, at Christmas 1944 when the house had been beautifully warm and decorated, and now it was bare, cold and devastated.鈥�

鈥淎do found some important papers and I gathered some photographs and slides and I found a few pages which I had torn from my diary. He left to go to Trieglaff and came back the next day. The militia in Trieglaff had pretended not to have seen our mother, but Leni and Tante Liesi had heard rumours that she had been, and probably still was, in the cellar of the militia prison in Trieglaff. Leni told him that she had heard that our mother had been dreadfully ill treated. In Greifenberg nobody knew anything about our mother. The militia told him to go. I promised that I would let him know as soon as I had any news. He kissed me goodbye! He had never kissed me before.鈥�

鈥淛ust before Christmas, more than a fortnight after our expulsion from the house and my mother鈥檚 arrest, Leni came to tell me that my mother had been seen in Greifenberg, so she was alive!鈥�

鈥淭here was another Christmas present: the electricity was restored again in the village houses on Christmas Eve, for the first time since the 5th March! It was a sad Christmas for all of us, but at least we could sit together by lamplight and though we had nothing festive to eat, could not go to church and had no presents for each other, at least we could turn on the light when we went to bed.鈥�

鈥淎 few days later Leni came again, this time to bring me a letter from my mother. It had taken the bearer several days to get it to Leni. It was written on the dustjacket of a children鈥檚 book, in pencil.鈥�
鈥溾�橫y beloved Child, do not be frightened. I am working here at the Kommandant of the militia鈥檚 (place), a lieutenant, have good meals and sleep here, already since the 15th 鈥︹�� No dress, no underwear. I took nothing with me. 鈥�. If only the two of us are together again. 鈥�. You dear child, 鈥� I embrace you tenderly. Your Mama. Have got lice and fleas.鈥�

鈥淚t must have been around New Year when I was called to the commandant. When I entered our old sitting room, which was the office of the commandant, I saw him first sitting behind the desk, and then the dog whip, which lay in front of him. There were two or three Militiamen as well. I had not seen them before. I was so scared that I could hardly remember what had been said when I got back; I kept looking at the dog whip all the time. But I had noticed that the commandant did not look very happy and his mean, pinched face did not look as menacing as usual. I do not think he said anything to me. I had to confirm again that we had had no radio since the Russians had taken it away in early March. I had to insist that we had no weapons, neither guns, nor pistols anywhere in the house. The man who asked the questions said I should go to Greifenberg and I would be taken there by some form of transport, because I was to fetch my mother who was now free. I found it hard to believe him. Ado and I had been lied to before, but on the next day there was indeed a large carriage and some soldiers and women came too.鈥�

鈥淚 was put down at a house near the station in Greifenberg. I went upstairs and fell weeping into my mother鈥檚 arms. She was maid, cook and washerwoman in this house where the lieutenant lived. She said that we were to go at once to the Polish administrator who would give her the papers confirming our release. On the way there we wondered what we should do next. I tried to convince her that she should not come back to Vahnerow as long as the Kommandant and his men were there.鈥�

鈥淲e had not come to a conclusion when we reached the house of the administrator. To my surprise it was the new villa of our vet, whose daughter had been a great friend during my school days in Greifenberg. Now I was in a house again, in the lovely modern room with the French windows, which I had admired. But today a Polish gentleman sat there who introduced himself as the new Landrat of the district. He spoke quite good German and explained that this land was now Polish and would remain Polish after the peace treaties had been signed. He said that we could not keep Vahnerow, neither could we stay there in future. He said that my mother鈥檚 freedom depended on both of us signing a declaration that we would leave voluntarily. We would all have to leave, and that meant all the German people in our towns and villages to the east of Oder-Neisse line, which would be a new border between Poland and Germany. There was not going to be a chance for any German to opt for Polish nationality, and quite certain not for us nor for any member of our family. So we both signed the paper. He then looked at me and smiled and said, 鈥楢nd you make three Christian crosses over hard time that has passed and three crosses for new life over Oder 鈥� you very young鈥�. And he was the second really nice Pole I had met in all these months. He wished us farewell, emphasising again that on no account was my mother to go back to Wanerowo, as it was called now. We decided that the only safe place for her would be Trieglaff with Tante Liesi. Then I left her and walked back to the place, to wait for my transport back. The town had been very badly damaged in the last fighting around here, it looked awful. Greifenberg had been such a pretty small town, with nice shops and restaurants and Hotel Bismark built around the square where Buth used to sell our fruit and vegetables on market days, and where Willy used to wait for us with the car to take us home after school. There were few shops again, where Polish traders exchanged goods for Polish zlotys from makeshift shops in partly damaged buildings. We had neither German nor Polish money, because we had never been paid for the work we did for the Russians or for the Poles. The only way to get money was to sell something to traders.鈥�

To follow in part nine 鈥� We hear there are safe trains to the west.

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