 | | Test-Icicles (pic: Stefan Klenke) |
What ensued were series of "ha ha ha… not funny" jokes, a few discombobulated notes and a singer literally strewn lengthways on the stage, making incoherent utterances whilst inviting poor, staggering 16 years olds to join him, only for them to be thrown off. These 3 over zealous boys were welcomed by orgasmic screams from the kids, who couldn’t wait to tune into them before returning to their GCSE horrors. Sadly, they then dashed the hopes of the little girls and boys as they anticlimactically screamed, talked, chatted, and apologized for the better part of an hour.
 | | Test-Icicles (pic: Stefan Klenke) |
Two songs were at least identified as being played the whole way through, Boa Versus Python and Sharks. If these boys were meant to bring about a musical orgasm, the result was a big, limp performance. Intermingled with the machine gun sound effects that guitarist and lead vocal Devante Hynez pressed mechanically on his keyboard came the squelches and screams from Rory Aggewalt (yes, also a front man) as he writhed on the floor saying "We know we suck but we’ll make it up to you with this next song". Rumour has it this band is never good live (which makes you wonder how they got signed) but the album is definitely worth a listen. Like a housewife who’s been robbed of her jollies, I walked away bitter and jaded. | 
