Cara Delevingne reveals battle with depression and says there's something dark in her
- Published
Cara Delevingne has spoken about her struggle with depression, saying she felt there was "something dark" in her.
The 25-year-old said she "hated" looking like a boy growing up, had a breakdown at 15 and felt that she "didn't want to be alive any more".
She's been talking to a digital magazine by the online designer store, Net-A-Porter.
Cara Delevingne has modelled for big brands from H&M and Chanel to Burberry.
She's also made a name for herself as an actress and starred in Hollywood films such as Suicide Squad and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
Cara Delevingne has written a YA novel, Mirror, Mirror, which is published next week
Cara says when she was growing up she wasn't into the same things as her friends, which didn't help her state of mind.
"I didn't have boobs or start my period till very late," she says. "And that whole thing of being called frigid, and being flat-chested... I felt alienated and alone."
The model said she took out her anger on herself saying "instead of using (my) sword and shield (to protect myself), I just put my shield up and stabbed myself.
"I hated myself for being depressed, I hated feeling depressed, I hated feeling," she says.
"I was very good at disassociating from emotion completely. And all the time I was second-guessing myself, saying something and then hating myself for saying it. "
Cara said she felt she could now "be happy".
"I want to have a farm, live on a beach... I want kids - I know I'm going to have kids. I can't wait (to have) that love.
"Those are the boxes I want to tick... I haven't set times, they're just dreams."
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