大象传媒

He sits on the small wooden stool watching her at work, amazed at the lithe fluidity of her movements.听She is a ballerina, graceful and elegant, her every motion an unrehearsed dance at odds with the crumpled roundness of her body.听

She has her back to him oblivious to his presence, her gaze fixed intently on the small fragile woman that lies before her on the tired wooden bed, gasping in pain.听The air is thick with the smell of sweat and sweet scented herbs.听An old oil lamp burns lifelessly in one corner of the room, its glass protection a faded shattered memory, its flame casting broken, misshapen shadows along the four walls.

He takes a deep silent breath, searching for the cool respite of clean air, aware of the stench of his own body, of the trickle of sweat making its way down his spine and into the deep crevice of his anus.听Feeling the itchy wetness of his groin, he shifts uneasily on the stool, almost toppling over.听She turns her head rapidly and looks at him over her shoulder, her eyes ablaze with anger, red and sparkling bright orange in the dim light.听He sees the leathery texture of her skin, the dry chapped lips and the hair lifeless and hanging like dried straw around her scarecrow face.听Her mouth opens to speak.

'It will be a while yet.听The Guru cannot be rushed.听The child will arrive when He wills it.听 Be still and wait,' she rasps.听Her voice a rusty hacksaw blade slicing through the thick muggy air.

He watches as she takes the baby and wraps it lovingly in an old and worn blanket.听 Carrying the child in her arms she walks across the room and places it delicately in a beautifully carved wooden cradle.听Turning, she walks back and whispers something to the mother and the look in his wife鈥檚 eyes is an icy dagger burying itself deep inside his soul.听The tears cloud his eyes, harsh and acidic making him wince, his breathing, short and sharp, spasmodic, tightening his chest.听He looks across at his wife.听She is crying, her chest rising and falling in uncontrollable sobs.听He walks across the room and stands looking down at her.听Leaning over, he slowly caresses away a tear with his forefinger.听 Their eyes meet and she tries to smile.

'Clean yourself up while I wait outside.听When you are ready we will go', he says.
'And the baby?' she whispers.
'I will pay the old woman.听She will know what to do.'
'But...'
'Silence.听We will not speak of this again.听You have ten minutes.听I will wait outside.'

She could not remember how many there had been over the years.听Could not recall their faces or the faces of those they left behind.听They came from all over.听Hindus and Sikhs, Muslims and Christians.听The rich and the poor.听The politician and the farmer.听 The taxi driver and the shopkeeper. They came by train and by car.听They came by rickshaw and by scooter.听They came by bicycle and they walked.听From cities, from towns and small rural villages.听From the heart of Mother India. They came asking for pity, for sympathy and forgiveness and left speaking of cricket matches and movies to be watched.听She listened and in her heart she cursed them and their sons for all eternity.
听听
Because when the darkness set in and she lay back to sleep, voices haunted her.听They spoke to her in low and hushed whispers, tender and sweet and full of love for a life that they would never know.听They spoke of dreams crushed and hopes shattered.听Of schooldays and birthdays and the tender sweet kisses only a mother can give.听Kisses to quell the pain of hunger, to dull the ache of grazed knees and broken hearts.听She loved them and cherished them, gave them names and identities, histories, husbands and children to nurture.

And when the voices were too loud to bear she would awake, her withered emaciated body trembling.听She would stumble outside into the moonlit night to the old disused well at the back of the farmhouse.听The well where her children lived. She would gaze down into its bottomless depths and call their names in a high banshee wail that went unheard in the blackness of the night.听Roopa, Naila, Mary, Devi, Sukhbir... Her babies... Her daughters.