大象传媒

听

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Kathleen Rose

鈥淲ell? Put me out of my misery. Why do you not like the sea? We鈥檝e been together three years and this is the first I鈥檝e heard of that one. Remember, if I鈥檓 to take you off Mrs. Doyle鈥檚 hands soon there鈥檚 to be no secrets. Shannon blushed. She looked across the table at her Yankee sweetheart and her heart did a somersault.
鈥淚 nearly drowned once. It was a long time ago on a beach to the north of the county. I was 7 and my sister was 8 and we were playing with a red and white swimming ring that we had just got that day. I was wearing it and Maeve was hanging on to me and I remember we were having great fun. All of a sudden neither of us could feel the sand beneath us and we realised that we had drifted out to sea. I began to feel really scared. Our little sister was standing at the edge of the water crying. It seemed like ages before anyone realised we were in trouble.

Then a man started to swim out to us and we were delighted. But all of a sudden he stopped and to my horror he turned back. He couldn鈥檛 go any further. The currents were so strong.
I can remember to this day shouting at him, over and over again, not to leave us. I can remember being angry at him and surprised at myself for being so cheeky to an adult (We were brought up to be very respectful to grown ups and I guess old habits were hard to kick off.)鈥�. Maeve, true to her own kind self told me to let her go and urged me to swim into the shore myself. I have to admit, John, I was tempted for a moment but I wouldn鈥檛 leave her鈥�. 鈥淲hat happened then?鈥�. The waiter asked them if everything was alright and John ordered a dessert from the sweet trolley. He loved these remote Irish restaurants. They hadn鈥檛 heard of small portions and it suited him just fine.
鈥淢y Uncle Michael was there. He couldn鈥檛 swim but he kept shouting to us from the rocks that we鈥檇 be OK. For some reason his presence comforted me. After that, all I remember is a girl and two men seemed to come out of nowhere.鈥�
鈥淲ho were they? Do I know them?鈥滼ohn was spellbound but still managed to polish off his apple pie. 鈥淣o鈥�, Shannon replied, amazed at her fianc茅鈥檚 appetite. The country living seemed to agree with him.
鈥淣or do I. I have no recollection of the men and I think the girl was weak enough after all her efforts so I never got to see her afterwards. I was talking to Mammy the other day and she told me that one of the men died many years ago. The other man is a mystery to her. He handed her his watch and said that he was going out. He actually saved me whilst the girl stayed with my sister until the other man took them both to safety. Mammy never saw him again and could never trace him.
Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking and I felt the urge to contact her to tell this mystery girl I was doing fine and to find out how she was.

听Apparently, she was from Coventry and was holidaying when the incident occurred. Though I never really saw her after that day I thought I could see her in my head and that I had a clear picture of her. She was beautiful with long flowing hair and a bright, honest face. And in all these years I have never wondered what the men looked like. Not once.鈥� Shannon showed him a photograph she had in her purse. 鈥淟ook.听 She鈥檚 beautiful isn鈥檛 she?鈥�. 鈥淵ou never showed me this before鈥�, John announced a little petulantly. He was annoyed at himself for being childish but it wasn鈥檛 like her to exclude him. 鈥淚s that her?鈥�
鈥淣o, that isn鈥檛 the girl. That is Rose.鈥�
鈥淩ose? Now you aren鈥檛 making sense.鈥� John pushed his plate away.听
鈥淒o you remember the other night I sat up for a good while after you went to bed? Well, I鈥檝e had a lot on my mind lately. And a thought occurred to me that I have always imagined what she looked like. I had a clear picture of the girl who saved me in my mind.鈥�
鈥淣ow you鈥檝e lost me for sure.鈥滺e surveyed Shannon鈥檚 sweet speculatively. She hadn鈥檛 touched it yet. Come to think of it she hadn鈥檛 eaten much of her dinner either.
鈥淚n 1933, Daddy鈥檚 sister Rose was at the same beach with some of her family and friends. She was swimming when her friend got into difficulty. Rose went to her rescue and though the other girl survived, Rose was drowned. 听She was 16. Her Mother was there and saw it all. And I realise now that the image I held in my head was not that of the girl who saved me but of my Aunt Rose. Somehow or other my brain had latched on to a photo I鈥檇 seen of her when I was a child.鈥�
鈥淚鈥檓 so sorry I didn鈥檛 know. That is so sad.鈥�
鈥淎nd it has finally dawned on me that that is why I really do not like the sea and I sometimes even hate it. I remember it was so cold, so very cold. For a long time now I had blocked it out of my mind completely.

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