听
听听听听听鈥淓aster is here again.
I said Easter is here again. It used to be one of your favourite
times of the year. Next to Christmas and birthday of course.
Look, I鈥檝e brought you your favourite Easter egg, Lee.
It鈥檚 got two flakes with it as well. Oh, and a card
too. Mustn鈥檛 forget that. Two in fact, one from me and
your dad. One from your Aunty Jacqueline. I think she鈥檚
put some money in it too. You know how she likes to send you
something. You don鈥檛 have to open them right now if
you don鈥檛 want to. I鈥檒l tell her you send your
thanks.
听听听听听鈥淵our father sends his
best. He鈥檚 sorry he couldn鈥檛 make it. He had to
attend the Sunday service you know. He always has to do that.
I wish you wouldn鈥檛 keep staring at the telly, it鈥檚
not good for your eyes. Even when it鈥檚 not on, it鈥檚
still not good for your eyes. You鈥檙e not wearing your
glasses today Lee. Where have you put them? You鈥檝e lost
them again haven鈥檛 you? Let鈥檚 see if I can find
them. Well, they鈥檙e not on the table. Not under the
bed. I don鈥檛 know where they could be then.
听听听听听鈥淚 just don鈥檛 know.
听听听听听鈥淵our sister sends her
love too. She鈥檚 got a new boyfriend now. Jack. She finally
brought him home last weekend. Introductions went well, I
think. Your father didn鈥檛 fly off the handle or anything.
Seemed to take the news quite calmly really that his little
girl was dating. Mind, she鈥檚 not so little anymore.
Twenty-one. But your father still treats her like an innocent
gal of sixteen. Not sure she is you know. Innocent that is.
But of course she never tells me anything anymore, so I wouldn鈥檛
know. Perhaps she鈥檚 told you something?
听听听听听鈥淣ot that you鈥檇
ever tell me I suppose.
听听听听听鈥淎nyway, this Jack of
hers, bright young lad. Well, I鈥檇 say he鈥檚 about
your age, about twenty-three or four. Bright lad, yes. Blond.
She always did like blonds, your sister. I think that鈥檚
a hairist thing that though. You know, she doesn鈥檛 want
to be the only one accused of having 鈥榖lond moments鈥.
You never laugh at anything I say anymore, Lee.
听听听听听鈥淗e鈥檚 doing some
sort of course at university, though your father thinks he鈥檚
just a bit of a layabout. He never did believe in that kind
of鈥 No, well. You know that. But she鈥檚 now thinking
of giving up her job in the bakery, our Lucy is. Jack鈥檚
got her thinking about furthering herself, so he has. Been
giving her ideas. Encouraging her to go to art college of
all places. I ain鈥檛 told your dad that yet. Don鈥檛
think he鈥檇 see it quite the same way she does.
听听听听听鈥淪hall I open one of your
cards? The one from me and your dad? Read it out? Alright
then. It鈥檚 got a lovely picture of a yellow chicken
on the front, just having hatched from an egg with a red ribbon
falling away from it. Inside it says: To my dear son, 鈥榊e
seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified: he is risen: he
is not here: behold the place where they laid him.鈥
(Mark 16:6) Wishing you much happiness at Easter. Lots of
love from mum, dad and Lucy. Kiss, kiss, kiss.
听听听听听鈥淚鈥檒l just place
it here on the side, so you can see it and perhaps have someone
read it again to you later.
听听听听听鈥淛ack seems to think Lucy
could really make a go of it, so it seems. I never really
thought anything of your sister鈥檚 doodlings myself.
But you always liked them didn鈥檛 you, Lee love? That
reminds me, here鈥檚 one of Lucy鈥檚 latest drawings,
she thought you鈥檇 like it. She made me promise not to
show your dad it, so you mustn鈥檛 either, though God
alone knows why. I鈥檝e not seen it myself. She wouldn鈥檛
let me see it either. I鈥檒l just leave it here love,
on this table. I鈥檓 sure one of the nurses wouldn鈥檛
mind holding it out for you to have a look at later.
听听听听听鈥淒o you remember the Easter
egg competitions you and your sister always entered at school
every year? And how Lucy won the competition at our local
building society one year? And you thought it was your egg,
not hers that had won? What a kerfuffle that was. Oh dear,
yes I remember that well. You must have been seven or eight
then.
听听听听听鈥淵ou were always such
an affectionate child. Liked your hugs, you did. Now all I
can do is put my arms round you and...
听听听听听鈥淏ut every time I touch
you I can鈥檛 help remembering鈥 I can鈥檛 believe
it was only last year. A year ago today in fact. There never
was any blood. I didn鈥檛 understand that. And you looked
so peaceful. The doctor said there was hope. There鈥檚
always hope.
听听听听听鈥淪o I hoped the other
driver hadn鈥檛 gone too fast. I hoped you wouldn鈥檛
stop breathing. I hoped you鈥檇 be awake in time for Father鈥檚
Day, but you weren鈥檛. I hoped you鈥檇 would be with
us 鈥 at the seaside 鈥 on Lucy鈥檚 birthday,
but you weren鈥檛. I hoped you鈥檇 be awake for Christmas,
but you weren鈥檛. I hoped and I hoped.
听听听听听鈥淚 remember when鈥
Ah, there鈥檚 somebody at the door, must be your father.
Oh hello, Lucy love. Have you come to see your brother? He鈥檚
doing really well today. Much more responsive than鈥︹
听听听听听鈥淢um, stop it!鈥
听听听听听鈥淏ut it鈥檚 a special
day today Lucy you know that, I thought that鈥︹
听听听听听鈥淵es, I know what day
it is mum. That鈥檚 why I came.鈥
听听听听听鈥淵ou鈥檙e such a sweet
girl Lucy. Come show me this drawing you asked me to give
him then. I鈥檓 dying to know what it is. Come tell him
all about Jack.鈥
听听听听听鈥淚 can鈥檛 mum.鈥
听听听听听鈥淲hy not darling?鈥
听听听听听鈥淭here is no drawing.
Mum, there鈥檚 no-one here.鈥
听听听听听鈥淚 don鈥檛 know what
you mean love. Are you playing one of your games again, that
you two always used to play together? Are you playing at invisible
friends again?鈥
听听听听听鈥淢um, I haven鈥檛
had invisible friends for many years now. You know that. Look
I can鈥檛 stay long. Jack鈥檚 waiting in the car for
me, and I know dad鈥檚 going to be here soon, so I鈥︹
听听听听听鈥淵our dad鈥檚 coming?
That鈥檚 wonderful. He doesn鈥檛 come to see Lee that
much these days.鈥
听听听听听鈥淢um, he鈥檚 coming
to see you. Not Lee.鈥
听听听听听鈥淲ell, it鈥檚 Lee
he should be seeing. He sees me all the time.鈥
听听听听听鈥淢um, I鈥檝e got to
go. I know dad鈥檚 really looking forward to seeing you.
Spending some time alone with you. I鈥檒l call in to see
you properly tomorrow and sit with you a bit.鈥
听听听听听鈥淲ait a minute Lucy, aren鈥檛
you going to kiss your brother goodbye before you go? Aren鈥檛
you going to wish him a happy Easter?鈥
听听听听听鈥淣o mum.鈥
听听听听听鈥淲ell that鈥檚 very
rude of you, I鈥檓 sure. I expected more from you Lucy.
Just because you鈥檝e fallen out with your brother, doesn鈥檛
mean you can鈥檛 be polite.鈥
听听听听听鈥淢um, Lee鈥檚 dead.
When you gonna get that through your head? He鈥檚 dead,
mum.鈥
听听听听听鈥淟ucy!鈥
听听听听听鈥淪orry mum. I鈥檓
sorry. I knew I shouldn鈥檛 have come.鈥
听听听听听鈥淗e can hear you, you
know. Just because he can鈥檛 say anything, or even look
at you, doesn鈥檛 mean to say he can鈥檛 hear what鈥檚
going on. He needs reassurance that the people he loves are
still here for him. How can you be so ignorant? He loves you,
Lucy.鈥
听听听听听鈥淎nd I love him mum. Don鈥檛
you think I miss him too?鈥
听听听听听鈥淲ell look love, there鈥檚
no need to cry. I鈥檓 sure Lee will forgive you if you
apologise and give him a hug. He just needs a hug from his
favourite sister. Then he鈥檒l feel better.鈥
听听听听听鈥淢um, please stop this.
Please.鈥
听听听听听鈥淵ou two argued so much
when you were little, but I thought you both grew out of that.
I was sure you had. I鈥檝e seen the two of you together,
how you always stick up for each other. And keep your little
secrets, even from your own mother.鈥
听听听听听鈥淚鈥檒l see you tomorrow
mum.鈥
听听听听听鈥淟ucy! The nerve of that
girl! Who does she think she is? She didn鈥檛 even stay
to show me what the drawing was all about. It only would have
taken five minutes. She could鈥檝e at least shared some
of the chocolate with us. Couldn鈥檛 she Lee, love? Lee?鈥
听
|