Summery Nights
By Davy Francis
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Oh once I was happy, I had a good life,
A job I enjoyed and an amiable wife.
A house that we loved, TV, telephone too,
And on summery nights, we would gaze at the view.
Now everything went fairly well in our plan,
I did all the things you'd expect of a man,
But my wife read these mags, thought she was on the shelf,
So she went to Nepal to discover herself.
Then the work front crashed too,my life was capsized,
I came in to find out that we'd all been downsized.
The whole bloomin' lot was being handled(in mass)
By a twenty year old student at a phone in Madras.
So, undaunted, I embraced the Digitial Age
I went on the Internet, browsed page after page
But between pop-ups and spam and goodness knows what
I got all confused and deleted the lot.
My next problem came when I started to text
Oh how my thumbs ached, my fingers a wreck
Then my fortunes denuded when I made a call
At a premium rate-it was my downfall.
My beautiful view disappeared overnight
I woke up to find a huge building site
The land was developed, they went the whole hog
Why, the neighbours were so close you daren't use the bog!
Oh the telephone rang, but the callers were fakers
Double glazing salesmen, conservatory makers
Insurance salespeople, a pain in the ass.
-I even got a call from yer man in Madras.
Well, I gave up, I gave in,I gave out as well
I took to my bed, my life was sheer Hell
I had nothing to live for, I was sick to the gills
Then they sent me to prison-non payment of bills.
But prison is just the most marvellous place
There's no-one else here, it's a whole different pace
No junk mail, I'm safe, no bother at all
The phone doesn't ring (I made just the one call)
The food is delightful, they've got cable TV!
At night we play cards,just the warden and me.
I read in the library, listen to Anderson too,
And on summery nights, I still gaze at the view
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