Home > Features > You know you're deaf when… part 2
You know you're deaf when… part 2
20th April 2010
A few weeks ago a circular email dropped into my inbox titled 'Are you a child of the 80s?' I usually press the 'delete' button without a second’s thought, but this time, intrigued, I started reading it and soon had a smile on my face.
The email got me thinking about those day to day things every deaf person understands - but which the rest of the world knows nothing about.
So I put the word out among my friends and we created a deaf version of the list. Once we got going, there was no stopping us. Here's part two!
Read the of Charlie's observations.
So I put the word out among my friends and we created a deaf version of the list. Once we got going, there was no stopping us. Here's part two!
Read the of Charlie's observations.
You know you're deaf when ...
• You walk into the offices of a deaf charity only to find that no deaf people actually work there, and that no-one can sign. You decide to stop supporting them.
• In the middle of a meeting your hearing aid batteries run out. You spend the next half an hour nodding at everything everyone says, unable to understand a word. You later find out you have volunteered to work weekends.
• You start watching the subtitles on 24-hour rolling-news channels for comedy value.
• In the middle of a meeting your hearing aid batteries run out. You spend the next half an hour nodding at everything everyone says, unable to understand a word. You later find out you have volunteered to work weekends.
• You start watching the subtitles on 24-hour rolling-news channels for comedy value.
• You go to the cinema for a subtitled screening, only to end up eating in Wagamama's with five free cinema vouchers in your pocket. They forgot to order the subtitled print. Again.
• You notice a child staring intensely at your hearing aids in the newsagent. Her mother looks at you sympathetically. After twenty years, you still have not worked out a way of saying "Don't pity me. I'm perfectly ok. Honest."
• You constantly meet hearing people who relate to your deafness by telling you about their deaf uncle/sister/friend/dog.
• You are often asked if you can read Braille.
• You notice a child staring intensely at your hearing aids in the newsagent. Her mother looks at you sympathetically. After twenty years, you still have not worked out a way of saying "Don't pity me. I'm perfectly ok. Honest."
• You constantly meet hearing people who relate to your deafness by telling you about their deaf uncle/sister/friend/dog.
• You are often asked if you can read Braille.
• You regularly meet hearing people who are desperate to show you the only sign they know. You smile politely for the hundredth time as they sign the word bull****.
• Every time you hear people saying "Sign language is so beautiful. I wish I could learn it," you find it more difficult to stop yourself replying "well, just learn it then."
• You turn to your partner and discuss a sign language interpreter's change of hair colour, rather than watching the TV programme they are interpreting.
• Every time you hear people saying "Sign language is so beautiful. I wish I could learn it," you find it more difficult to stop yourself replying "well, just learn it then."
• You turn to your partner and discuss a sign language interpreter's change of hair colour, rather than watching the TV programme they are interpreting.
• When the lights suddenly go out at home, you spend a split second wondering if someone's at the door, whether the phone is ringing or if there's a power cut.
• You stubbornly continue signing as you walk along the street even though this means narrowly avoiding collisions with other pedestrians, prams and lampposts.
• You grew up thinking silver haired former See Hear presenter Clive Mason was a deaf god, for his silky signing skills and the fact that he was the only deaf person on TV every week.
• You stubbornly continue signing as you walk along the street even though this means narrowly avoiding collisions with other pedestrians, prams and lampposts.
• You grew up thinking silver haired former See Hear presenter Clive Mason was a deaf god, for his silky signing skills and the fact that he was the only deaf person on TV every week.
Missed the first half of the list?
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Comments
the one about people showing the only piece of sign you know is so true! And why is it always that word?
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To be fair, it is quite a visually rich sign..! But I think deafies get slightly irritated at seeing hearing people give us the same sign again, and again, and again...
The worst place I ever saw it was at a diversity function at a major broadcaster. The head of the channel got up, saw a sign language interpreter at the side of the stage, and promptly did the bull**** sign, before laughing loudly at his own visual wit.
Meanwhile a crowd of us deafies sank slowly back into our seats...
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Haha! Unfortunately when you have learned a little sign language, the first thing people ask you is what are the swear words. And this would be where it originates...
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You know you are deaf when you constantly miss trains because you can't understand a word any of the station staff say.
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You know you are deaf when you find yourself on the wrong train hurtling off non stop in the wrong direction because your train was shifted to a different platform from the one displayed on the departure board and the
tannoy is like a foreign language.
Do not attempt a train journey if you are deaf do not think about it, just stay home where you belong.
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You know you're deaf (or in my case hard of hearing) when... you tell people for the first time that this is the case and some joker says, "what??" and thinks this is terribly funny. Would they imitate a limp if you told them you were missing a leg? Or blunder into the furniture if you said you were visually impaired? Not funny.
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You know you are deaf when you hear NOTHING, and dont or cant wear hearing Aids and people constantly ask you or sign with finger to lips shsssshhh, or they put their fingers in their ears, yes they telling you that your LOUD....Being Deaf without hearing aids get funnier....and angrier..
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Collegemiss I dont belong at home, Its hard work yes, but the battle for Deaf must go on, staying at home isnt the place we BELONG....
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You know you are deaf when you are constantly fighting with other deaf people and having to justify (A) How you communicate (B) How you live and (C) Why you don't think the same as everyone else...or even (D) Not remotely interested in socialising by proxy online because you have a real life interacting with real people.
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You know you're deaf when you suddenly work out what he was saying half an hour later.
BTW Subtitles the other week: 'Sir Alex Ferguson' became 'Ceramic Ferguson.' Potty, eh?
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