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Disability Bitch: census and sensibility

24th March 2011

• Disability Bitch is published every Thursday.
• The rest of the time, you can follow her on and .
The 2011 census
Readers, it may have escaped your attention, but this Sunday, we've all got to fill out a form to let the government know we exist. Yes, it's - that time of the decade when the UK counts and categorises its citizens. Oh, and uses the results to plan its services for the next decade.

I know this'll come as a surprise to you but ... I HATE THE CENSUS. I feel like I've filled out enough government forms in the last few years: benefit applications, NHS referral forms, you get the idea. Barely a month goes by that I'm not announcing my existence and laying myself bare to government officials in some form or other.

You'd hope there was some kind of exemption for Disableds when it comes to taking part in official headcounts: they have so much information about me, I don't think there's a civil servant in Whitehall who can't recite my medical history backwards.
The census being filled in
Apparently, though, it's a legal requirement that everyone must fill it out and you can - theoretically, at least - get fined if you don't.

Before you think about doing a spot of census-dodging, it seems officials are keen to use the opportunity to figure out how many disabled people populate our nation. Potentially helpful I think.

Disability issues come up in a couple of places, notably Question 23 -

'Are your day-to-day activities limited because of a health problem or disability which has lasted, or is expected to last, at least 12 months?'

Note that it's not a straightforward Yes / No question, it requires you to tick one of three boxes: Yes, limited a lot; Yes, limited a little; No.

Question 13 asks you how your health is in general - how nice of them to care! - and offers a range of incremental responses from 'Very Good' to 'Very Bad'.

Readers, I've been debating how I should answer these questions ever since the purple form plopped onto my doormat ... but imagine my surprise when I found my No-Legged friend hunched over it about to tick a big fat 'No' against the disability question.
DB in her chair
"My friend," I screeched, "I'm not being funny but you're missing 50% of your limbs and you claim six types of disability benefit! What more needs to happen to you before you declare yourself disabled? Shall I chop your right arm off as well…?"

"But Bitch," he replied, tears welling up in his eyes at the assumptions I was making about him, "the question asks if my day-to-day activities are limited, and they've made our local crazy golf course wheelchair accessible this year, so I don't think I'm limited at all, thank you very much!"

"What are you? One of these 'I don't consider myself disabled' nuance bunnies? I lunged for the stairlift and took the battery out. Then I balanced his wallet and keys on an upstairs windowsill, far from reach. "How about now?!" I asked him, and wrenched the pen from his hand and placed a tick in the 'Yes, limited a lot,' box.
The cabinet office in Whitehall
He protested but I was firm. "No Legs," I told him, "this is not the time to mess around by trying to prove how able you are. This is the form they analyse to organise future services for the population at large. If you don't announce yourself as disabled, it'll be all your fault when they give up making government services accessible."

He looked confused. "The thing is," he told me, "usually I tell the government I'm disabled but they still make me fill in a seventy-two page form detailing exactly what's wrong with me, and even after that send out a medical person to check I'm telling the truth."

Immediately I saw what he was getting at. The census allows you to determine for yourself whether you're disabled or not, without the usual kind of interrogation. I've written to David Cameron and Iain Duncan Smith telling them I've found a way to save them squillions of pounds on the DWP budget: simply remove the complex assessments in favour of a straightforward Yes / No tickbox. After all, if it's good enough for the census it must be good enough for the DWP, right? I think the political mood is behind me on this one. I feel sure we're onto a winner.

Facebook / Twitter

This week in my social networking empire… not much has happened, actually. Though I did note former Eastenders actor discussing Jaffa Cakes with . I'm delighted by the freedoms social networking has given disabled people like David and Tanni.

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Comments

    • 1. At on 24 Mar 2011, RoseRodent wrote:

      I am still trying to figure out how those who have requested a census form in Braille or audio format are supposed to record their answers, quite honestly. My friend intends returning it with a supplementary sheet written entirely in Braille. I am quite happy with the incoming format of my form, I do not need it in sign language, Braille, audio or Welsh, however I can't write on it. D'oh!

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    • 2. At on 24 Mar 2011, Chris_Page wrote:

      The Disability question is, sadly, still conforming to the Medical Model of Disability. The Powers That Be obviously haven't moved forward in their analysis of what "Disability" is - or should be. They haven't grasped that society disables us by failing to include us, or plan with us in mind.

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    • 3. At on 24 Mar 2011, Jason wrote:

      Is this kind of silliness not counterproductive, from a campaigning point of view?

      It leads naturally to the assumption that you're complaining because we don't live in a fantasy utopia, rather than about actual problems that can plausibly be fixed.

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    • 4. At on 25 Mar 2011, Chris_Page wrote:

      The real silliness is that we have non-disabled people defining what we are, and how we must live our lives.

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    • 5. At on 25 Mar 2011, Jason wrote:

      Chris, who is defining what you are or how you live your life, and how?

      If you want help from the state, you're going to have to accept that you have to prove you need it. I absolutely believe that process could be improved, but pretending that it doesn't need to be there at all doesn't help anybody.

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