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Jonathan Ross returns on his ´óÏó´«Ã½ One show, Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, and is joined by guests Tom Cruise, Stephen Fry and Lee Evans, with music from Franz Ferdinand.

Speaking at the top of the show, Jonathan says:

"So. Where were we? Welcome to Friday Night With Jonathan Ross. You're surprised? Welcome to our millions of regular viewers and to our several thousand new viewers who I suspect may well be watching for the very first time.

"So it's a brave new world, ladies and gentlemen. Barack Obama is in the White House. Isn't that fabulous and exciting news? George Bush has gone – well, he hasn't actually gone, he's still trapped inside tragically pushing on a door with 'pull' written on it. But I'm going to miss him in a way, well not so much him, more the things he said. Who else could say 'the trouble with the French is they have no word for entrepreneur' or 'I believe human beings and fish can coexist peacefully'? Or, he actually said this, 'rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?'

"What sort of idiot would say stuff like that knowing it was going to be broadcast? And on that subject, there can't be many viewers watching who aren't aware that this show hasn't been on recently and the reason for its absence. Well, I am going to take this opportunity to apologise for what I said on the radio because being on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ and being allowed this level of freedom to communicate openly with people, it's a great privilege and it's something I've always enjoyed and I value enormously, and in future I do intend to be more aware of the responsibility that comes with such a gift. But, as the kids say, it was my bad, so I do apologise for any hurt or distress it's caused."

During the show Tom Cruise talks about meeting fans:

"I love going out, hanging out with people...I tried a disguise once – different hats, glasses – it just doesn't work."

Trying on a Nazi uniform for his new movie Valkyrie:

"It was creepy, the first time I put it on, it was very peculiar...there was a lot of pressure making the film...the themes are ageless, I found it very moving."

How he relaxes:

"Watch a little football, do some aerobatics (he has his own plane), go to the racetrack."

And about making a musical:

"I'd like to do a musical film, we'll see if I can sing and dance, I might fall on my face."

Fellow guest Lee Evans confirms he's joining the cast of Doctor Who:

"I'm a professor... they asked me the other day, and I said I'd love to do it."

And Stephen Fry discusses President Barack Obama's inauguration speech:

"I was really impressed... raising science to its rightful place (and) many religions, the mention of non-believers."

Notes to Editors

These quotes are taken verbatim from a studio recording and do not necessarily reflect the content of the final edited programme.

KT