大象传媒 Scotland - 大象传媒 Scotland - 鈥楢re you even old enough to have kids?鈥� 鈥� and all the other AAARGH-inducing things people say when you鈥檙e a young mum

鈥楢re you even old enough to have kids?鈥� 鈥� and all the other AAARGH-inducing things people say when you鈥檙e a young mum

31 October 2018

People are waiting longer and longer to have babies. The average age to give birth in the UK is now around 31.

Vanessa Kanbi, however, had a son when she was 20 and a daughter when she was 24. She feels that being a relatively young parent can sometimes feel lonely and isolated.

All The Things People Say When You're A Young Mum!

Yep, Vanessa is a young mum. No, it doesn't mean she can't look after her kids properly!

While her friends were interested and supportive when she first became a mum, Vanessa became increasingly aware that those of them who hadn’t started a family themselves were still living life like any other young person.

People think it鈥檚 their purpose to tell you what they think about you.

“It’s 1am and you’re scrolling through Instagram whilst doing the night feed and you see all your friends at the best party. And you know you can’t be there because you’ve got to be at Baby Sensory at 8am.”

Vanesa has found that strangers can also behave differently toward you when you’re young and a mum.

“People also think it’s their purpose to tell you what they think about you.

“I was in a coffee shop recently and the man behind the counter said, ‘What you up to today?’ ‘I’m just going to pick up my kids from school.’ And he was like, ‘Are you even old enough to have kids?’

“Do you know the way that my blood boils when people say this sort of thing? Of course I’m old enough to have kids! I’ve got two, thank you very much!"

“Stop, stop, stop it.”

That’s 23-year-old Milly’s message to people who ‘parent shame’ young mums like herself.

The Hull-based blogger and mum of 2-year-old Elijah says she has faced judgement as a young mum with mental health issues.