大象传媒

Having spoken to a lot of couples about how they make love work, the most common theme in having a successful relationship was having a second toilet. However, if like us, that’s not something you can afford right now, let us make this absolutely clear for you – you are a candle guy now. You love a reed diffuser. You’ve never enjoyed a hobby more than you do spraying vanilla scented bathroom spray. You and your relationship are welcome.

I don’t know about your relationship but we LOVE A ROW – however we’re not so great at resolving them in the moment. It’s actually much easier to take a breath, go for a walk, sit in a different room for a while and come back when you’ve calmed down to talk about it. Better still if something is starting to bother you, bring it up before it all goes tits in the air, that way you can be a bit more sensitive and avoid screaming “I WAS SO MUCH MORE FUN BEFORE I MET YOU” at your partner’s tear-stained face.

This is a biggie. Not everything can, will or should be shared. Tell them if you’re saving food for something special so they don’t eat your caramel nibbles when they were bought in preparation for your impending period.

Precious as your partner is/partners are, you should not spend every waking moment in their company. It will kill your love dead faster than you can say “what are you thinking?” Take some time for yourself, you deserve it.

The idea behind this is explicitly to separate the chores or else one person always ends up doing or “feeling like they are doing” more. For instance in our relationship, Catherine takes the lead on the cooking, cleaning, tidying, talking, thinking, designing, creating, dreaming, sleeping, eating and I, Sarah take the bins out.

Yeah, we get it, you’re very important. People text, they call, they like that meme. However, you glued to your phone does not make riveting company. So why don’t you pop that on airplane mode, have a look at your beloved and tell them about what you’ve just read on Twitter. Maybe even pass it off as your own hot take. That way you can both go back to your phone, smug that you still find each other interesting. Hot, right?

Fifty percent of us need this approximately twice a year. I won’t tell you who but honestly, the truth would not shock you. The reality is in a long-term relationship extreme weeping is unavoidable and some might be lucky enough to know how to stop the hysterical sobbing of their loved one with kind, soothing words or a funny catchphrase; but if there is someone who isn’t so rational, maybe it’s better to draw the line at an hour of tears, run the bath and pop her in it. For us, that’s sometimes what’s needed, and once she pops her tiny boy-like self into the bath, has her short hair washed and a few suds to play with, she quickly forgets why she was crying in the first place.

Things are tight and life is hard. But your home is your safe space, or it should be. It’s supposed to be a haven and if you are trying to maintain a healthy relationship in it, it helps not to loathe the person and the room you’re in at the same time. So if you can, buy some nice pillows. If only so that the last thing they see as you murder them is a sweet fluffy pink pattern that embodied your willingness to try.

We’re all different, yeah? Some of us can spring out of bed and start jabbering on about their mammy and their home country and the time they saw Nicky from Westlife in their local Avoca, and others need to lie face down in their pillow and contemplate death for a while. If you’re the former, maybe, pop to the kitchen, put the kettle on and wait for your loved one to come to you in their own, miserable time.

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