Main content

How a bride can tell if her mother-in-law-loves her

A traditional pre-wedding ritual is said to reveal the extent of her love.

As they prepare for marriage, many women will hope to have a good relationship with their new mother-in-law. But how can a bride discover what her fiance's mum really thinks of her?

One pre-wedding tradition, common in Muslim and Hindu marriages, is thought to reveal a mother-in-law's true feelings.

As the wedding approaches, the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with mendhi, or henna, which is said to relieve stress. But it’s what happens to the henna later, that will reveal the truth…

The mehndi myth

Can henna art really determine the relationship between the bride and her mother-in-law?

"Henna is a really big thing with Asian brides, explains wedding planner Aneela on Getting Hitched Asian Style. "And there’s a myth behind it that the darker your henna goes, the more your mother-in-law loves you.

"So if it doesn’t go dark it means your mother-in-law doesn’t like you. But that’s just a myth!"

New designs

Henna artist Ambur Ali creates beautiful and intricate designs for brides. She has seen how brides' demands have changed.

A bridal design with henna, gold and sequins

"Traditionally, henna was very simple, she explains. "All [brides] would get done was a round dot on the hand and filled in finger tips. Now it’s such a big thing, no one can get married without a beautician or a henna artist.

These days sequins and glitter can be added, allowing for more extravagant and eye-catching designs.

"There are just so many different [ways to] experiment," says Ambur.

But even though being painted with henna is a long-standing tradition for brides, some are reluctant to have it applied.

"A lot of girls don’t like having henna done," Ambur admits. "They don’t like the smell, they don’t like the process. But because it’s their wedding, you’re not a bride if you don’t have henna done and so they’re still getting it done."

Social media now plays an important role in showcasing new decorations which can provide inspiration for henna artists. But Amber already has a firm idea of what makes a good henna design:

"You can never have too much glitter and sparkle!" she says.

On ´óÏó´«Ã½ iPlayer

Latest features from ´óÏó´«Ã½ Scotland